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Riley lifts the tray and the next thing I know my eyes, nose and mouth are filled with cake and my ears filled with the cackling of everyone around me. I try not to curse because I know Lucy’s brothers are watching. Next to me, Riley’s laughing the loudest, and it’s probably the only reason the rage dies down as fast as it does. “I’m sorry,” she says through a giggle, wiping the cake from my eyes. I grunt, then grab her waist and pull her in for a sloppy kiss which isn’t really a kiss but just an excuse to wipe my face all over hers. She squeals. People laugh harder. And I fall deeper.
“Okay,” Amanda sings. “Here’s the real one I made.”
“Mine was better,” Lucy laughs.
Riley reaches into the pocket of her shirt and pulls out a bunch of candles. I don’t know how many are there but the heat they emit is enough to start making me sweat. After Riley wipes her face, and then mine, she motions to the cake. “Make your wish.”
I pull her down to my lap. “You make the wish,” I tell her, looking at everyone around me, finishing on Dad. “I got everything I need right here. I got my family.”
Riley’s eyes narrow at first, as if she’s clicked that I’ve read her letters.
I won’t tell her.
She won’t ask.
Her gaze stays on mine for a long moment while silence fills the yard. Then her eyes drift shut, her chest rising with her intake of breath. Her cheeks puff with the force of her exhale and a second later, it’s over.
Dad clears his throat and all eyes go to him. He raises the beer in his hand. “I uh, I wanted to make a toast to my son.” He waves his hand toward me. “Dylan. Who, we all know. Obviously.” He rubs the back of his neck while Riley squeezes mine. “I’m bad at this so I’ll make it quick…” He looks down at his feet and takes a breath. Then rubs his eyes before looking back up. “I’m so damn proud of you, son. We all are. And I’m glad you’re home safe and now I’m ramblin’ so here,” he says, reaching into his pocket and throwing something at me. I catch it. Ford keys.
“What’s this?” I ask, looking from the keys to him.
“Well, you were deployed on your twenty-first birthday so it’s a little late, but it’s parked out front.”
“You got me a car?” I almost shout.
“You got him a car?” Eric repeats. “Man, I was deployed on my twenty-first and all I got was a damn card with a giraffe on it!”
I practically push Riley off my lap. The guys laugh. “If this is a joke—”
“No joke. And a truck. Not a car. Go check it out!” Dad says.
Eric whines, “A giraffe! What did that even mean?”
Dad didn’t just get me any old truck. He got me my dream truck. The one I’d wanted when I’d turned sixteen but wasn’t able to afford. A black 2005 Ford F150 dual cab.
“Holy shit.” I open Riley’s side first so she can get in and then run to the driver’s side. I slip in the key, turn it and then I don’t really know what happens but I’m pretty sure it’s sexual considering everything that goes on in my pants.
I turn to Riley. “Did you know?”
She nods. “He’s been looking since the accident.”
“A giraffe!” Eric shouts.
“So?” Riley says. “Shall we?”
“Right now? What about—”
“My mom’s going to help clean up. It’ll be clear by the time we come home.”
“Home?”
She nods again, scooting across the seat until she’s next to me and my hand instantly goes to her leg. “Our home.”
“And your mom’s okay with us moving out?” I ask, glancing at Holly standing next to Dr. Matthews.
“Yeah. She supports us no matter what.”
My smile matches hers. “So where to?” I put the car in gear.
“Where else?”
“Horizon, it is.”
It’s two in the morning by the time we get home from the drive. And five in the morning when I find myself inhaling deeply, blinking at the reflection in the shattered mirror and wondering why… why the hell would he come to me now? After one of the best days of my life, why fucking haunt me now? It’s been weeks since I’ve seen him. Not since I spent the entire night bleeding my heart out to Holly.
I thought it was over.
I was wrong.
His words replay in my head. “I fucking failed, Dylan!” Over and over.
“Babe?” Riley says, sitting up in the bed. “You okay?”
My shoulders tense. So does my jaw. “I’m fine.”
Her hand skims across my side of the bed. She’ll feel the sweat. It’s impossible not to.
I sigh, looking back in the mirror before running the tap and splashing water on my face.
“Are you hot?” Riley asks, now walking toward me. “I can turn the air up.” She grabs a face cloth and sits on the counter next to my arm, then runs it under the cold water.
Her eyes are tired, just like mine.
She wipes the cloth across my forehead, down my neck and onto my shoulders while I breathe through the visions.
“Did you have a bad dream?” she whispers, the towel on my chest now. “I’m sorry,” she adds. “You don’t have to tell me.”
Behind the fatigue, I see the determination in her eyes, the need to make me better somehow.
And I remember the messages from Dave—her promise to take care of me. So I swallow my pride, and I give her what she needs. What she deserves. “Yeah, Ry. I did. And I can’t get back to sleep now.”
