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My heart was heavy, thinking about how many times Holden had faced this choice. It was an inescapable part of who he was, and it made me see him in a whole new light. It hit me then that what I’d been asking him to do all this time—to kill Branson—wasn’t as easy as I made it out to be. As much as I knew it needed to be done, it wasn’t fair of me to put that on him.
All along, I’d thought I understood his choices on an intellectual level, but I’d never been able to reconcile them emotionally. It was just too close, too personal. Nico was my brother. But now, I had firsthand experience of the difficult choices required of an alpha. It made me understand Holden in a completely new way.
I didn’t envy him and the life he led, but despite it all, I wanted to be the woman to comfort him. To hold him when he faced all the difficulties of being an alpha. And right now, more than anything, I just wanted him to take me in his arms and tell me it would all be okay.
27
HOLDEN
My father’s head snapped up as I strode into the office, his mouth flattening into a grim line. David and the Northeastern pack alpha were there as well, and they were all deep in conversation until I arrived.
“I take it you’re aware of what’s happened,” I began.
“We were getting ready to make a call to Madison’s alpha.” Bridger Wilder wasn’t one to show his emotions regarding business, but he looked quite bothered over tonight’s events. Understandably.
Adrenaline was still pumping through my veins. Seeing Kayden covered in blood like that, her body shivering from shock… It had done something to me. Things were getting real, and it was time I fully stepped into my role.
“I’ll make the call,” I told him, my tone leaving no room for argument. “This is my Contention, the women are my responsibility. I want to be the one to handle this.”
Pride shown in my father’s eyes as he nodded once. “As you wish, son. I trust you fully.”
His words were meant to encourage me, but they only underscored the fact that I’d been withholding vital information from him about my mate—and that it was affecting my judgment. On this, I was clear, though.
“Can you tell us what happened?” David asked, concern written all over his weathered face. “We’ve heard mixed stories.”
I nodded. “Madison broke the rules. She challenged Jessica, who didn’t shift, yet she continued her attack. Based on the wounds I saw in the infirmary, she crossed the line. Another strike, and she would have committed murder.”
Father flinched, and I clenched my teeth. Yes, that was something that happened in our world. I knew it all too well. But if one submitted, there were strict rules in place. Never under any circumstances were to you kill a shifter who chose submission.
“Jessica never shifting was a sign of her submission,” I told the group, needing them to fully understand what happened because what I said next would make things a bit murkier. “Kayden only jumped in to save Jessica’s life.”
David and my father exchanged glances. “So she did interfere in a duel.”
“Madison broke the rules of engagement,” I reiterated. “And while the rules state that interference is not allowed, if Kayden hadn’t, Jessica would be dead as well. There were no officials from the Contention present other than myself. Ultimately, the women’s safety falls on us to ensure the rules are followed. How do you think Jessica’s father will feel knowing his daughter was nearly murdered?”
Father steepled his fingers under his chin. “The rules would have Kayden going home. Are you suggesting something else?”
His eyes were too shrewd, seeing too much. Just as I knew I was giving away too much by pleading her case. But I didn’t have a choice. I refused to send my mate home, giving me no chance of truly claiming her as mine.
“Kayden will not be punished because we failed to provide proper supervision. The other contestants were witnesses to what happened. But not a single official could state what happened. Jessica will be eliminated for losing a duel. From this moment forward, I want new rules in place. No contestant is allowed to roam anywhere without a Contention official present.”
Father nodded. “I think that’s a wise choice, given what happened here tonight.” He paused, his eyes narrowing, and for a moment, I thought he was going to say something about Kayden, but he shook his head, almost imperceptibly. “At this point, I think it best when you call Madison’s alpha that you keep to the simple facts. She chose not to submit during a duel, and that’s the end of it. No need to bring the dishonor of her initial attack to the attention of her pack.”
I agreed. We were already pushing some limits here when Sydnee was making calls for Kayden to go home. We didn’t need to create unnecessary distress. Not wanting to put off the inevitable, I moved to a side antechamber of my father’s office suite and made the call.
As I spoke to Madison’s alpha, Garrett, Willow, and several other officials filed in, speaking with my father and his men. The alpha took the news as well as could be expected when I told him Madison chose not to submit in a duel, knowing that this was indeed the nature of challenges. When I ended the call with a heavy sigh, I turned to find my father standing in the archway of the antechamber.
“Making an exception for Kayden is setting a bad precedent.” He stood perfectly still, his face unreadable. I shifted uneasily, wondering just how much he saw through me.
“Was she supposed to just stand there and watch her friend get killed?” My voice was low and dangerous. My father narrowed his eyes in scrutiny.
“Holden. You know the rules.” I had the feeling his words held more than one meaning.
I held his gaze unwavering. His words could just as easily have been meant for me. “What I know is that Kayden was being loyal to her friend and to the pack. She protected someone whofollowed the rules. Went after someone whobrokethem. I won’t punish her for doing the right thing—even if, on the surface, it’s against the rules. It’s not so cut and dry.”
He studied me for a long, uncomfortable moment, and I had the distinct impression he saw too much. Hell, it wasn’t like I was doing a good job of hiding my feelings. Finally, he sighed, shaking his head. “In this instance, I happen to agree with you. Sometimes the choices you’ll be required to make as alpha aren’t black and white. You’ll have to decide where you stand when faced with the gray areas. I’m going to ask you to do that now.”
“How?” Unease settled over me.
