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He clears his throat and moves further away from me. His reaction doesn’t surprise me. Not even a little. I’d give up on me too. “I don’t really know what to say,” he says, his words drawn out. “Today’s been…” He laughs once. “Today’s been one of the best days I’ve had since I can’t even remember… and that has everything to do with you. If you’re not comfortable with us, you know, getting closer or whatever, then that’s cool. I mean, I’ll be upset, for sure, but I don’t want to stop hanging out with you. I like you, Becca.”
I gather my courage and look up at him, but he’s already watching me, his eyes fixed on mine. I swallow my nerves. “I like you, too.”
He’s quick to close in on me, and even quicker to smile. “So what’s the problem?” he says, his hand resting on my leg now.
And I let him this time. I bite my lip and point out the windshield to the loader dumping sand into the back of a truck while Tommy squeals with excitement. “That. The real and outside world.”
He shrugs. “Fuck the real world then. We’ll just live in our own.”
“That’s not possible, Josh.”
“You think?” He arches an eyebrow and dammit he’s cute. “Watch me make it possible.” He comes closer again, his eyes drifting shut right before his mouth meets mine. He kisses me once, soft but quick. Then he pulls away, his hand rubbing his heart. He huffs out a breath, his cheeks puffing with the force of it.
“What’s wrong?”
“I think you broke my heart a little bit just now.”
“Shut up!” I laugh out, leaning into him. He puts his arm around my shoulders while I place my hand on his stomach, feeling his hard muscles beneath it. And because I’m curious, I run a single finger down from his chest.
Dip.
Dip.
Dip.
His hand covers mine, stopping me from going any lower. “What are you doing?” he murmurs, his voice rough.
I look up at him. “Playing.”
He shakes his head, his eyes on my mouth.
I lick my lips.
He does the same.
A tapping on the window interrupts us. Josh winds down the window. “We’re done. I’ll meet you at your house?” Robby asks.
“Yup!” Josh says, louder than normal.
Robby’s eyes drop to Josh’s hand on my leg. “I’d take Tommy but his seat’s not in my truck.”
Josh’s fingers press down on my leg when I try to move away from him. “It’s cool. Can you just um… put him in his seat? I can’t really get out right now.”
What? I think. But Robby says it out loud. Then after a beat, he laughs. “Oh!”
Oh what?
“Sure,” Robby says.
What’s funny?
As soon as Robby’s gone, Josh squirms in his seat, his hand on his lap covering himself.
Oh! “Oh!”
Josh shakes his head.
I stare out the windshield.
Kim puts Tommy in his seat. “See you guys there,” she says, smiling and waving just outside Josh’s window.
He gives her a two finger wave.
I blink.
He drives home.
I don’t speak.
Neither does he.
Not until we get home and he switches off the engine. I turn to Tommy. And then I laugh.
“What?” Josh follows my gaze. “He fell asleep!”
My grandmother takes Tommy into the house and tells us he can stay with her overnight so we can unload the sand and prepare everything for him for the next day.
Josh talks with Robby and Kim while they work. I try not to listen. At some point, Robby leaves for a short time. When he returns, he’s carrying a case of beers. Josh gathers some lawn chairs and sets them up around the sandpit. I place the last of the dump trucks in the middle of the sandpit and stand up, brushing the sand off my hands. I tap Josh on the shoulder just as he sets down the third and last chair. He turns to me and sits down on it.
I wave good night.
His brow bunches and he reaches for my hand. “Where are you going?”
I point to my house.
“Why?”
I don’t really know why he’s asking me questions when he knows I won’t answer him. So I just stare him down, waiting for his next move.
His next move is to smirk, which just confuses me more. Then he grips my hand tighter, the other on my waist, and pulls me down and onto his lap.
My eyes widen but he just keeps the smirk in place. He raises his hand not on my hip and the next second he catches a beer. He uncaps it and passes it to me, then repeats the process.
“Wait,” Robby says, “You’re legal right, Becca?”
Josh scoffs. “I’m not even legal.” Then he runs his nose across my shoulder until his mouth is next to my ear. “Just relax, Becca. I got you.”
I relax. I could blame it on the beer, but I don’t think that’s all it is. It’s Josh, too.
They talk a lot of shit. A lot of funny as hell shit. Mainly about Josh as a kid. I can tell they’re trying to embarrass him and it works. They don’t talk directly to me, but they also don’t make me feel like an outsider. I smile a lot. And I laugh. They’re silent laughs, but still, they’re there. They talk about Tommy and his cute and crazy antics. Kim mentions something about being replaced and how she’s jealous that I’m his new best friend. She doesn’t say it with malice though, and for some reason that makes me trust her. Just a little.
