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Her eyes fill with tears as her mouth opens, but I don’t give her the chance to speak.
“Take care, all right?”
Her eyes widen, but she doesn’t speak.
She doesn’t make a move.
She just blinks, causing her tears to fall.
And it takes everything in me to not reach out.
To not touch her.
To not wipe away the tears so I can see her beautiful emerald eyes.
Then she nods once, her thumb in her mouth before turning away.
She leaves.
And I let her.
â??â??â??
My eyes snap open when I hear Becca’s name. For a second I think I’m dreaming but I’m not, because it’s Chazarae voice and she’s screaming. “Becca! Stop!”
I throw on my sweats, forget the shirt and, faster than I thought possible, sprint from my apartment to her house. I try to open the door, but it’s locked. “Chaz!” I shout, banging on the door.
“Becca! Please stop!” I hear, and I instantly know there’s no chance she can hear me. Through the darkness of the night, I feel around the top of her doorframe looking for the spare key. When I find it, I use it and run straight up the stairs.
“Please, Becca!” Chaz says, but she’s not shouting anymore. She’s crying, pleading.
Becca’s the first thing I see when I run into her room, she’s in the corner; her eyes squeezed shut and her legs kicking widely. Her thumb’s in her mouth again while Chazarae hovers above her.
“What happened?” I rush out, moving Chazarae out of the way.
“Josh,” she cries, her hand wiping the blood from her mouth.
I ignore Becca for a moment and hold Chaz’s face in my hands. Blood mixed with tears cover her chin. “Did she do this?”
“She didn’t mean it,” she sobs. “I should’ve known better. I shouldn’t have touched her when she’s like this.”
“Like what?” I ask, looking back at Becca. Her eyes are still closed, but that doesn’t stop the tears from falling. She’s rocking back and forth, her free hand covering her head.
I drop to my knees and hesitate, just for a second, before touching her.
She squeals, her cry so loud it makes my ears ring.
“She’s having a nightmare,” Chaz cries. “I can’t snap her out of it.”
“Becca,” I whisper, but it does nothing. As gentle as I can, I touch her bare leg, trying not to spook her. She kicks out, her foot finding my knee.
“Stop,” she cries.
And everything inside me turns to stone. What the fuck happened to her to make her like this?
“I don’t know what to do.” Chazarae sobs, her hand on my shoulder.
“Becca. Baby, I need you to wake up.” I try to shake her shoulder but all it does is make her flinch, make her kick, and make her cry harder.
She grunts loudly and bites down harder on her thumb.
“What the hell’s she doing?” I ask, but it’s not really a question. At least not one that warrants an answer.
She kicks again, only this time I see it coming. I grab both her ankles and hold them together. She resists, using every bit of strength she possibly has to try to get out of my hold. The adrenaline pulses through me, beating wildly in my ears. “Becca.”
“She won’t hear you,” Chazarae cries while I quickly pick up Becca, one arm behind her knees, the other around her back. I carry her to her bed and rock her like a baby.
She fights.
With everything she has.
She fights me off her.
“Becca,” I whisper in her ear, “It’s Josh.” I wipe my tears caused by my guilt against her shoulder—because as much as I don’t want to admit it, I know. Deep down, I know I caused this.
I caused this beautiful, fragile girl to break.
A girl I’m pretty sure I’m in love with.
I hold her tighter, pressing my lips against hers, and I ignore Chazarae in the room.
And I break.
Just like her.
“Baby, please. I’m so sorry.” I run my hands up and down her legs, my mouth on her cheeks, kissing her tears away. “Baby, please, wake up,” I cry.
And slowly, I feel her body relax beneath my touch—her cries fading to whimpers.
I lick her tears off my lips and try to slow the beating of my heart. Carefully, I grasp her wrist and try to pry her thumb away from between her teeth. She bites down harder. So I do the only thing I can think to do. I turn to Chazarae. “She’s okay, she’s coming to. Can you just—I need—”
“I can’t leave her like this,” she says, her voice hoarse from all the crying she’s done.
“I’ll stay with her. I won’t leave. I just need you to trust me.”
“Josh,” Becca whispers, and Chaz and I both sigh, relieved.
Chaz asks, “Is Tommy—”
“He’s not home. I promise you, I’ll take care of her.”
Chaz nods and slowly backs out of the room, switching off the light and closing the door after her.
The moonlight from outside the window illuminates the room, just enough for me to see the outline of Becca’s face. I kiss her lips, and then her thumb, all while I continue to rock her. “Baby, you need to stop.” I try again to remove her hand but she resists. My hand drifts up her bare leg, to her waist, my thumb skimming her stomach. “You said I was your safe place, Becca. And I’m here. Please, baby.”
I kiss her mouth again, hoping I’ll somehow get through to her, and when her hand lands on my leg, fisting the fabric of my sweats, I know it’s working. I open my mouth wider, my tongue skimming the corner of her lips.
