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I meet his eyes, and for a moment, we just stare at one another. Then, as if satisfied with my answer, he nods. “Yeah, you do.”
We move on to lighter topics. I ask him about his work, his aspirations, and he reveals that he’d like to own his own business one day. I encourage it. Looking at Alejandro, I can see the man he is now and the man he has the potential to become. Give him a few years, and he’ll be right where he wants to be. Alejandro just has that something, a natural charisma and strength of character that radiates from within him. Whatever he sets his mind to, I bet he’ll achieve it.
I learned he is here on a Visa via our texts, and he tells me now that he’s been here for just a few short years. Already he’s seen more of the country than I ever will. To me, he’s fearless in a way that one day I hope to be. I admire that so much.
He mentions that a few of his friends slash coworkers are here on Visa as well, and I am compelled to ask, “Have any of them ever tried to get married to get citizenship?”
He nods, eyebrows raised. “Some, yes. They pay a lot for it.”
“What about you? Have you ever considered it?”
He chuckles, shaking his head as he stares down at his beer. “I’d rather get on the first plane out of the country before I get married.”
“So you’re not looking for that kind of commitment?”
“I’m not against marriage, but I’m not looking for it either.”
It’s a good answer, as far as I’m concerned. One that I can understand and relate to, as someone who married out of obligation and circumstance instead of purely for love. It’s a mistake I’ll never make again.
Noticing the tattoo I gifted myself for my birthday, an adventure of sorts of my own after the split, he grabs hold of my wrist and turns it, inspecting the details of the little flowers and the script from my favorite Black Veil Brides song. Alejandro has already expressed that he finds tattoos incredibly sexy on a woman, which makes me want to get a few more, especially seeing that look in his eye now. It reminds me of something he said when he first saw the tattoo in a picture I’d sent him:You have to be mine.
It seems he’s gotten his wish because I can’t see anything or anyone beyond him right now.
“Do you recognize it?” I ask, referring to the lyrics because he enjoys the same type of music I do.
“Yep.” He releases my wrist, and I mourn the loss of contact instantly. “I thought of getting one too.”
“Oh yeah? Of what?”
“My son’s name.” He touches his forearm, indicating where it would go.
My imagination takes the wheel, and I picture going with him, watching him get it done. There’s nothing I find sexier than a little ink on a man. “Cool.”
Silence settles between us, but it’s the comfortable kind. In it, we just look at each other and smile, our knees touching beneath the counter, and we subconsciously lean in even closer. We’ve been doing that a lot—mirroring each other—getting closer and closer, inch by inch. I wonder if he even notices.
I take another sip of my beer, and he finishes his off. Then he leans in all the way, placing his mouth beside my ear and whispers, “I want to bite those lips now.”
My whole body shivers—from his proximity, his voice, the very idea of those lips on mine. I smile in answer, and he takes out his wallet. Once the bill is settled, we head back out into the frigid night, and it hits me all over again.
I’m going to kiss him!
5
Against my better judgment, I’m doing the exact opposite of what Jean told me to do. Which was not to go anywhere alone with Alejandro. The world is a crazy place full of crazy people, and I don’t know him at all, but I feel like I do. I can’t explain it, but from the moment I looked into his eyes, I felt as if I’d known him forever. There’s a comfort there, a place where nerves don’t reside. I’ve never felt that with anyone before, and certainly never this fast.
So I’ve followed him to the hotel where he’s staying. It’s a work thing. He doesn’t actually live here, in my state. Part of my decision to return to his hotel with him is because I want to taste his lips, to go on a little adventure, to push the boundaries of temptation. But also, I have this nagging feeling that I need to steal every moment I can with him because I won’t get many.
It doesn’t even make sense to feel that way, but it’s as if he’s an apparition and I’m going to lose him any moment.
So I’m taking the risk. I have to explore this connection I feel with Alejandro. I want to live a little, enjoy what life has to offer, while I have it in my reach.
Part of the thrill of all of this comes from not knowing him. He’s a virtual stranger, and that excites me. I’d be lying if I said that everything about Alejandro doesn’t excite me. It’s as if God himself took a look at my list of ideal men and created this one just for me.
I pull into a parking spot and take my second deep breath of the night before getting out. Alejandro is already waiting for me, and when I reach him, he takes my hand, leading me inside the hotel with the sure steps of a confident man.
I absolutely love that about him. In certain ways, he’s so sure of himself. Being that he’s younger, I can almost attribute the bits of shyness I’ve glimpsed to that, but in all other ways, he carries himself as a strong, independent man who knows exactly what he wants and aims to get it.
My heart races knowing that I’m what he wants, that he’s set me in his crosshairs.
