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2
I’ve completely shirked my responsibilities for the day in favor of spending it with Alejandro. Whatever time I can steal with him, I will. I’ve made up my mind, and I plan to see this through to the end.
After dropping the girls off, I did exactly what he told me to and called him. Unable to stay at the house because my oldest is homeschooled, I was in his rental car within the hour. We hold hands the entire drive, and I admire the darkness of his skin against the paleness of mine. He has strong hands, making mine look delicate and petite. The contradiction makes my stomach flip.
The drive isn’t long. We picked up coffee before stopping at a nearby park. It’s early—and cold—so the place is deserted but for a single jogger I spotted as we came in.
There are parking lots dotted around the park, and Alejandro pulls into one that is shrouded with overgrown trees and brush. He parks in a far-off corner blanketed in shadows and turns off the engine.
I haven’t touched my coffee. It just sits, nestled between my legs, radiating warmth. I’m not interested in it at all. I only got one because he did. I’m most concerned with what happens next. I’m no good at small talk, and to be honest, the only thing I want to do right now is climb into his lap and make up for lost time.
I’d once told him he makes me crazy…and I meant it.
We’re in a fairly public place, and I’m thinking things I normally wouldn’t. But he makes me lose my inhibitions, makes me want to drop the filter I run my life through and just live in the moment—damn the consequences.
“So, are you seeing anyone?” Alejandro asks, breaking the silence.
My eyebrows shoot up. “Uh, no.” How could I even think about seeing another man when I haven’t gotten him out of my system yet? But then I wonder… “Are you?”
His head, tilted down, turns, and he looks at me from beneath a fringe of dark lashes. “No. I’m still attached to you.”
My heart thumps loudly. Oh, man, if I wasn’t doomed before, I am now. He knows exactly the right things to say to hook me. Logic and reason try to speak out, to contradict him, but I don’t care to hear what they have to say. Is it wrong to want to just live in the moment for once, to allow myself to just feel and live and experience without worrying what comes tomorrow?
“Good, because I’m attached to you too,” I tell him. His thumb caresses the back of my hand. I luxuriate in the moment before asking him something in return. “What happened, Alejandro? Why did you just stop talking?”
His face is a mask of contrition. I can see he’s struggling, whether he’s avoiding saying anything or he’s trying to find the words, I don’t know, so I offer an explanation of my own.
“Is it because I’m still married?”
“Is he trying to come back at all?” he asks instead.
“No. I told you, we’re going for divorce.” My husband has made it clear that he doesn’t want me anymore, and I don’t want him. What I want is sitting right in front of me.
“Okay, good,” he says, those luscious lips turning up at the corners.
“So…” I say expectantly.
“So…” He sucks in a breath, and I brace myself for whatever he’s about to say next. “I was engaged before. She was getting divorced and when her husband found out about us, he made it hard on her. Threatened to keep their kid away from her.”
I make a face, because the very idea of that happening is appalling. What kind of person puts an innocent child in the middle like that? If my husband ever tried to pull something like that on me, I’d cut him off at the knees.
“It drove me crazy, and eventually, I walked away.”
There are a few things running through my mind. One is this is coming from the man who told me on our first date that he would rather be deported than get married, despite not actually being against marriage. Maybe he was thinking of this situation in particular? Could he be as scarred as I am? Another thought is that he must seek out married women or something. What are the odds he’d end up with one twice in a row? And another is…
“Is that why you disappeared? Did you think it would turn out the same with us?”
He shrugs. “Do you still love him?”
“Of course I do. He’s the father of my kids. I’ll always love him. But I’m not in love with him.” The truth is, I can barely bring myself to like my ex most days. I’ve all but lost total respect for him, and like trust, that’s not an easy thing to get back.
He nods, soaking my words in. “I like how you answer.”
“I’m just being honest.”
“I believe you.”
I hope so, because sitting beside him, staring into his beautiful eyes, I am ready to call the divorce lawyer and get the process rolling once and for all. Maybe even put a rush on it if possible in order to be free with this man who makes my insides quake without feeling like I’m giving him a raw deal.
