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“We broke up. She went back to live with her parents.” He takes my hand this time, giving me no chance to pull away. “I miss you. I miss us.”
I feel my eyes sting, and then my vision blurs as they fill with unspent tears. Why is he doing this to me? Why now? After all the prayers, all the sleepless nights and worries and longing and heartache…why now?
A hundred questions run though my head. Is he just latching onto me because he doesn’t want to be alone? How much of this is even true? Has he changed at all? Can I even trust him anymore? Can I love him again? But the most important question of all is: Do I want him?
Unsure what to do or say, I look into his eyes, then to my kids. I see the three oldest, the ones we made, raised together, and I see all the hopes and dreams of the future I once had before me…and the possibility of having it all back again.
Then I see Ben. Tiny, fresh little Ben with his perfect button nose and round head, long lashes and cherub cheeks, with a hint of caramel coloring tinting his skin…and I see the future—or what I’d hoped the future would look like.
In the absence of Alejandro, I don’t know what I see. Everything is muddled now, and the choice feels close to impossible to make.
It could be too soon. If I decide one way or another now, I might make a huge mistake.
But if I don’t choose now, I might still be making a huge mistake.
Either way, I stand to lose.
Emotions running rampant, the tears start to fall, and Mark is quick to dry them away. I don’t jerk away from his touch, even though a part of me revolts. I want Alejandro to be the one touching me, and the reminder that it’s Mark and not him hits me square in the chest.
The fact is, he’s not here. He’s not answering my texts. He hasn’t tried to call, not my phone nor the hospital room even though I gave him the number just in case. He knows how to reach me and has the means to do it…and he hasn’t.
The truth is, he should have been here by now. He should have been here all along. And he’s not. As much as it hurts me to admit, if he wanted us, he’d move heaven and earth to be with us. He wouldn’t go MIA at the most important time. But that’s exactly what he’s done.
I look around the room once more, to the people who make my life complete, and I consider my options. Sadly, they’re precious few. But one thing I know for certain is that I love my kids, and I’d do anything to make them happy.
“Julie…” Mark’s soft plea breaks through my thoughts, and I turn my head to look at him. His eyes are filled with emotion, just like my heart, and I feel an answering tug. “Please.”
I open my mouth to voice my decision…
…and that’s when Alejandro walks in.
Read on for the exciting conclusion in Bebé!
