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“I don’t see how you can get around it. You have to make a choice, and when it comes to matters of the heart, like it or not, sometimes you have to take a calculated risk.”
“This might be more risk than I’m willing to take.”
“Let me ask you this. Are you struggling with it because you truly are torn on what to believe, or are you running from your feelings?”
That was a good question, and one that caught Sabrina off-guard. What were her true, underlying motivations? She certainly hadn’t been expecting them to show up in her life, nor had she expected to be so thoroughly attracted to them, or hopeful for more to come out of their arrangement. It was plainly obvious to her, the more she considered the depth of her feelings, that she was growing attached to all three of them, and if she continued seeing them, if she chose to move past this day, she was in danger of falling in love.
That was premature thinking, she knew, but she also knew herself. Sabrina never had sex with anyone casually. It wasn’t in her nature. What she did, she did deliberately, with purpose. Her initial purpose had been to satisfy her cravings for them, for their bodies, but now she wanted them to have more of that connection she felt whenever they looked at her in that way they did, as if she were the only woman in the room, the only woman they had eyes for. They made her feel special, as if they saw something in her that no one else did.
Sabrina had been hunting for that elusive connection her whole life. Personally and professionally. All she’d ever wanted was for someone to see the real her, to recognize her worth, and to appreciate her.
The Hargreaves appeared to fit the bill. Theysaidthey did. More importantly, shefeltit. Having sex with them had only bound them to one another, or at least bound her to them. Was it even possible to give that up, to turn her back and walk away from it all?
They weren’t too far in yet. They hadn’t merged lives or anything important yet, so yes, theoretically, she could cut ties, move them all to opposite corners of the world, and put the whole experience behind her. In reality, she knew it was much more complicated than that.
“Your silence speaks volumes, sista.” Janet’s voice brought Sabrina back to the moment, sitting in that bathroom, the fan whirling loudly overhead, and her two guys outside the room, waiting on her to emerge and issue her verdict.
“In case you’re still looking for an answer,” Janet spoke again, “I think you need to stop second-guessing everything and looking for problems where none may exist. I think you need to go out there and choose them, choose to believe them, and choose to be just a little bit selfish for once and take what you know you want and deserve, which is three gorgeous men who want to make you happy.”
“So I should just forget what my father said?”
“Did I say that? I don’t remember saying that.” Janet’s tone grew firm. “Look, you go do everything I told you to do, but don’t forget shit. You keep that little nugget in the back of your mind, watch their behaviors, their actions, and your ass. If something seems off, dig deeper. It doesn’t pay to be stupid. So be smart and play this out with both eyes wide open. Now that you’ve been warned, you can take steps to cover your ass while they…ahem,cover your ass.”
This time, Sabrina snickered a little, amused with her friend’s knack for lightening any moment, no matter how serious. “I see your point. I’m going to do that. Thank you, Jan. You’re always here when I need you.”
“What are sisters from another mister for?”
“’Kay, they’re waiting for me. I’ll let you go.”
“Get out there and knock ‘em dead! But not literally. With kindness. And tits and ass wouldn’t hurt either. And—”
“Bye, Janet,” Sabrina singsonged as she pulled the phone away from her ear and ended the call with a huge smile on her face. She loved that woman to the moon and back. Didn’t know what she would do without her.
She rose to her feet and sighed as she stared at the closed and locked door, preparing herself mentally to go back out there and clue William and Oliver in on her decision.
“Here goes nothing…”
Chapter Nineteen
Sabrina’s intent, as she stepped out of her bedroom and approached the living area was waylaid by the appearance of an unexpected visitor.
Sitting on the couch was Oliver, and beside him, with an empty cushion left in between, was William. They were both watching her with caution and, if she wasn’t mistaken, a margin of apology. As they should. Because Sabrina felt ambushed.
Sitting in the single wingback chair was Conner. He appeared downtrodden yet irritated, and even determined as he looked up at her.
She could understand all of those emotions. He was, after all, the first to have hit her chopping block in terms of punishment. By now, he had to know what her motivations had been, as his brothers likely used their time alone with him to fill him in.
Still, faced with that kind of intensity, Sabrina found herself standing taller, her shoulders growing stiffer, and her back becoming as rigid as her attitude. “What are you doing here?” The question came out firm, but in her head, it’d been issued with no small amount of hurt and regret, knowing the reason. “Aren’t you supposed to be packing or something?”
Conner’s expression soured even further. If looks could kill…Well, he wouldn’t go that far. If anything, he might want to shake the tar out of her. She couldn’t blame him. Had the roles been reversed, she might be inclined to slap herself. Just how far she’d overreached was setting in, and Sabrina was embarrassed by her behavior.
“I’d like to speak with you alone,” Conner ground out as he pushed to his feet.
William and Conner were on alert, their loyalties clearly torn between their brother and her, but they made no move to go anywhere.
Sabrina took it upon herself to take the initiative. Motioning behind her, she said, “Fine, we can talk in my room.” Never mind the whole apartment belonged to her, but she wasn’t going to split hairs.
Conner silently followed her and closed the door behind him as they entered. Sabrina couldn’t bring herself to face him again, choosing to keep her back to him in an effort to remain strong.
