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“No.” He shakes his head adamantly. “We don’t engage with each other like that.”
“Then how?” The way his eyes flash on me makes me aware of the judgmental tone I used, but I don’t know how else to phrase it. I am judging. Every second that I sit here and listen to this, the more I think of all the stuff I do know about these types of arrangements. They’re not entirely legal. They’re shunned from society. Abnormal. Shameful. Cast in the same light as cheating. Having multiple partners isn’t normal, and yet, as I sit across from Niles and think about this budding desire I feel for him, the certain level of respect I hold for him in general, I find myself willing to hear him out.
“It’s complicated.” He’s growing frustrated with me and having to explain himself, and I totally get it. It’s never fun to have to defend your choices when you don’t see anything wrong with them. “Look, never mind. This was a bad idea. I should go.” He stands as he digs his wallet out of his back pocket, and I feel a surge of panic and loss rise up inside me.
Reaching out, I stay his retreat with a hand on his wrist. “Please. Explain it to me.” I look up at him with pleading eyes. “I really do want to understand.”
Niles hesitates, then he reclaims his seat. There’s tension between us now, an unwelcome visitor, but I have to know. Something inside of me begs for it, to be a part of whatever world he’s struggling to hide in.
Staring down at the table, at his folded hands in front of him, Niles looks beaten down, as if he’s had this conversation a million times before and is exhausted. Feeling a sense of responsibility along with compassion, I reach out with both hands and frame his clasped ones between mine, encouraging him to continue with just a look.
“My friends and I share a close bond. Best friends, almost brothers. We share everything. A home, a life, and we view things through the same lens. Women,” he clarifies when I pass him a questioning look. “We’ve always shared the same taste, the same kinks, but individually, nothing ever works out. Then one night, when we were completed wasted, we found ourselves with a woman. She was stunningly beautiful, and she wanted not just one, but all of us.”
“At once?” My voice is higher than normal, and I’m aware of what I must look like, with my eyes wider than dinner plates and my mouth hanging open in shock.
“Yes. She was adventurous.” He smiles wistfully, no doubt returning to that moment in time.
I’m instantly jealous. Who was this woman? Is she still hanging around?
“She took us down a path that, once traveled, we couldn’t leave behind. It shaped us, our futures, our choices. We decided that anything we did from there on, including relationships, we would do together.”
“So that’s why you don’t date.” It was starting to make sense now, everything that Colleen had said.
His brows pinch together. “I date.” He makes a show of sweeping his eyes across our table and the room in general, indicating that he was on a date with me right now.
“Okay, now I’m confused.” Because he was right. He was on a date, with me. But where were his friends? If they did everything together, shouldn’t they be here too?
“I’m sure you can understand that this isn’t easy for us. People tend not to understand, and they judge harshly our choices. We have to be careful who we choose to engage with. So, when one of us is interested in someone, we date. We evaluate whether that person is a potential fit for the rest of us.”
“So…you’re testing me.”
“All dating is a kind of test, but yes.”
“Am I passing?” I’m not sure why I’m even asking this. I’m not sure what he’s selling is something I’m willing to even buy. Even that thought scares me a little because now I have to wonder when I began to consider this a possibility in my life. Three men? That’s just wrong.
Isn’t it?
“So far, yes. You’re still here.” He opens his hands and takes mine into them, giving them a gentle squeeze. “I think my friends would like you, Elle.”
I bite down on my lower lip. The picture of Niles and his friends looms bright in my mind once more, and instead of being repulsed by the possibilities, I find myself considering them.
Three. Can I handle that many men at once? Do I even want to? I can’t deny that I’m intrigued.
“Tell me more.”
