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“Alaric, I—”
“You will refer to me as ‘Your Highness.’” He walked around his desk and sat, focusing his gaze on his computer. “First names are for couples who share something beyond a formal arrangement.”
“But I...”
Her voice trailed as the words welled in her throat.
I love you. I’m so sorry. I should have trusted you, trusted myself. I love you so much, Alaric.
“I’m sorry, Alaric,” she finally whispered.
He didn’t even look up.
“Goodbye, Your Highness.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
THEMOUNTAINSOFLinnaea glittered in the distance. Clara kept her gaze focused on the snowcaps as the train rolled into the station. When the helicopter had arrived at the airport in Geneva, she’d taken one look at the private plane they’d flown in on and nearly burst into tears. Between the rapid unraveling of her relationship with Alaric and the pregnancy hormones, the thought of flying in the plane she’d flown with her husband on as they’d begun their honeymoon had been too much.
Stefan, poor man, had said he had to get permission from Alaric and the head of security. Clara had calmly told him she would scream that she was being kidnapped unless he took her to the station. Fortunately, he had obliged. She’d texted Meira a note to send him a bonus with his next check. He was good at his job, and he didn’t deserve getting caught between two feuding monarchs.
A chill swept under the door of her private car as passengers walked past to disembark. Her skin pebbled beneath the thick wool of her sweater, but she barely noticed. She felt as cold inside as the ice glittering on the branches outside her window.
Had it been just twenty-four hours ago that she’d been cocooned in the warmth of her husband’s arms after he’d made love to her? How had everything they’d been building over the past month fallen apart so quickly?
Simple. There wasn’t anything between the two of you except a baby and good sex.
A lump rose in her throat. She knew better. Alaric may have felt nothing. But despite the cruel words she’d flung at him like daggers as she’d left, she loved him. She loved him so much it hurt.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out to see an unfamiliar number on the screen. The text beneath alerted her to the fact that the call was from Los Angeles. Her chest constricted. Only two people would be contacting her from Los Angeles, and she had zero desire to speak with either of them. If Temperance Clemont was standing in front of her right now, it would be very hard not to slap what would no doubt be a very smug, self-satisfied expression off her face.
She sent the call to voice mail. A moment later, when it rang again, she turned her phone off.
Temperance may have succeeded in destroying what little relationship had been developing between Clara and her husband. But she would not let that vile woman have any more power over her life.
A private car whisked her from the train station to the palace. When she reached the floor that housed the royal family’s apartments, she stopped. Where did she belong? The family suite she and Alaric had begun to decorate together from afar? Alaric’s private apartment?
It could have been seconds or an hour before she slowly turned and took the elevator back down to her old apartment. The door swung open and, thankfully, her things were still in place. It would cause more gossip when she notified the palace staff that she would be remaining in her old suite until further notice. But given the media storm that was about to descend on the palace, she found she didn’t really care anymore what others thought. Alaric had sworn he wouldn’t divorce her. The next few months would be ugly, but eventually another royal would do something foolish or get married or have a baby. The spotlight would move off her and Linnaea. Alaric would continue to make progress in rebuilding Linnaea. And she would do whatever was needed to ensure she never hurt him or the people of her adopted country again.
Telling herself that didn’t ease her heartache. Slowly, she eased herself into her favorite chair, the chair she’d been sitting in when Alaric had approached her with the pregnancy test in hand. That night, she’d thought there was no possible way she could ever co-parent with Alaric, let alone marry him.
Now she was over a thousand miles away from her husband missing him and the promise of a beautiful life together. She’d hurt him, not once but twice. He thought she’d lied to him. Even though she hadn’t outright lied, she’d certainly concealed the truth. She’d known how much he abhorred scandal. He’d given her numerous opportunities to share what had happened, had shared his worst pains and biggest vulnerabilities with her.
And in a moment of pain, she’d hurled the cruelest thing she could have possibly said. If there had been any possible hope for reconciliation in the future, she’d ruined it with her nasty parting words.
...it was easier for him to stay withdrawn because getting involved was too scary...
She had wanted the benefits of a marriage without making the same investment Alaric had, withholding the worst parts of her own past out of fear while taking everything he had offered. She’d let her own guilt over not stopping Miles from driving, from spurring her to take action too late to save his life, prevent her from telling the man she loved the truth.
Alaric had been right. She hadn’t trusted him to be fair, to listen to her. She’d let fear rule her. Rule her and ruin her.
She brushed a stray tear from her cheek. Even though it hurt, the truth was finally out. She wouldn’t have to move forward with the specter of his abuse and the circumstances of how he’d died looming in the background, overshadowing her new life.
That was a task she would start tomorrow. Tonight, she would mourn.
Silence greeted Alaric as he walked into the royal apartment. A quick glance confirmed what his new executive assistant, Geoffrey, had told him: Clara hadn’t moved in. At first, when Geoffrey had called to report that Clara had ordered dinner be served to her in her old suite, he’d almost called her.
But what would have been the point? He’d told her that until he summoned her, he wanted nothing to do with her. She was following his orders.
