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"Once you were only a challenge, something to be conquered. Then I became intrigued by your growing powers. I saw possibilities that I could use you to strengthen my position if only you would join with me."
Something like pain passed over his face, and I wanted to ask if it was real. If any of this was real, or if it was only another act. I trusted Jean-Claude to do whatever it took to stay alive. I didn't trust him to tell the truth sitting on a stack of Bibles.
"I saved your ass enough times. I'm your declared human servant. What more do you want?"
"You, ma petite." He stood, but didn't come closer. "It is no longer challenge or the promise of power that makes me look to you."
My pulse was suddenly thudding in my throat, and he hadn't done a damn thing.
"I love you, Anita."
I stared at him, my eyes growing wide. I opened my mouth, closed it. I didn't believe him. He lied so easily, so well. He was the master of manipulation. How could I believe him now? "What do you want me to say?"
He shook his head, and his face fell back into its normal lines. That beautiful perfection that was what passed for ordinary. But I knew now that even this was a mask, hiding his deeper emotions.
"How did you do that?"
"After several centuries of being forced to school your face into pleasant, unreadable lines, you lose the knack of anything else. My survival has depended on my expression more than once. I wish you understood the effort that little display of humanity cost me."
"What do you want me to say, Jean-Claude?"
"You love me a little, that I am sure of."
I shrugged. "Maybe, but a little isn't enough."
"You love Richard a lot, don't you?"
I met his eyes and wanted to lie, to save his feelings, but those kinds of lies hurt more than the truth. "Yeah."
"Yet, you have not made your choice. You have not told me to leave the two of you to matrimonial bliss. Why is that?"
"Last time we had this talk, you said you'd kill Richard."
"If that is all that is stopping you, ma petite, have no fear. I will not kill Richard merely because you go to his bed and not mine."
"Since when?" I asked.
"When I threw my support to Richard, Marcus became my enemy. That cannot be changed." He leaned his shoulder against the dark wooden bedpost closest to me. "I had thought to petition another pack. There is always an ambitious alpha male out there somewhere. Someone who would like his own pack but either through sentimentality or lack of strength is doomed to play second forever. I could kill Richard and bring someone else in to kill Marcus."
I listened to his plan told so matter-of-factly. "What changed your mind?"
"You."
"Come again?"
"You love him, ma petite. You truly love him. His death would destroy something inside of you. When Julianna died, I thought I would never feel for anyone again. And I didn't, until I met you."
"You won't kill Richard because it would hurt me?"
"Oui."
"So I could tell Richard when he gets here that I've chosen him, and you would let us go off, get married, whatever?"
"Isn't there one hurdle to your marriage besides myself?" he asked.
"What?"
"You must see him change into wolf form." Jean-Claude smiled and shook his head. "If Richard was human, you would meet at the door with a smile and a yes. But you fear what he is. He is not human enough for you, ma petite."
"He isn't human enough for himself," I said.
Jean-Claude raised his eyebrows. "Yes, Richard runs from his beast, as you have run from me. But Richard shares a body with his beast. He cannot outrun it."
"I know that."
"Richard is still running, ma petite. And you run with him. If you were secure that you could accept him, all of him, you would have done it by now."
"He keeps finding excuses not to change for me."
"He fears your reaction," Jean-Claude said.
"It's more than that," I said. "If I can embrace his beast, I'm not sure he'll be able to accept me."
Jean-Claude cocked his head to one side. "I do not understand."
"He hates what he is so badly. I think if I can accept his beast, he won't... he won't love me anymore."
"Being able to embrace his beast would make you what... perverse?"
I nodded. "I think so."
"You are trapped on the horns of a nasty dilemma, ma petite. He will not make love to you or marry you until you have seen and accepted his beast. Yet if you accept it, you fear he will turn from you."
"Yeah."
He shook his head. "Only you could choose two men in one human lifetime that are this confusing."
"I didn't do it on purpose."
He pushed away from the bed. He stopped two small steps from me, staring down. "I tried to play the mortal for you, ma petite. But Richard is much better at being human than I am. I have not been truly human for so very long. If I cannot be the better man, let me be the better monster."
My eyes narrowed. "What's that suppose to mean?"
"It means, ma petite, that Jason told me of what happened this afternoon. I know how close you and Richard came."
How much had the lycanthropes been able to hear? More than I was comfortable with, that was for sure. "I just love being spied on."
"Do not be flippant, ma petite, please."
It was the please that got me. "I'm listening."
"I told you once that if Richard could touch you and I could not, it would not be fair. That is still true."
I pushed away from the door. He'd stepped over the line. "Are you asking me to let you touch me where Richard touched me?"
He smiled. "Such righteous indignation, ma petite. But have no fear. Forcing myself upon you in such a way would smack of rape. I have never been interested in such things."
I took a step back, putting a little space between us. Unless I was really angry, it was never good to get that close. "So, what are you saying?"
"You have always forbidden me to use vampire tricks, as you call them, with you." He held a hand up before I could say it. "I do not mean bespelling you with my eyes. I am not even sure that is possible anymore. I cannot be human, ma petite. I am a vampire. Let me show you that has pleasures beyond humanity."
I shook my head. "No way."
"A kiss, ma petite, that is all I ask. A chaste kiss."
"And the catch is?" I asked.
His eyes were solid, sparkling blue. His skin glowed like alabaster under lights.
"I don't think so," I said.
"If you were truly sure of Richard, I would leave you to him. But does the fact that I love you not earn me so much as a kiss?" He glided towards me. I backed up, but the door was right there, and there was nowhere to go.
He was like a living sculpture, all ivory and sapphire, too beautiful for words. Too beautiful to touch. His hands smoothed over my forearms, along my hands. I gasped. Power rushed along my skin in a smooth wash, like air dancing over my body.
I must have tensed up because Jean-Claude said, "It will not hurt, that I promise."
"Just a kiss," I whispered.
"Just a kiss," he whispered. His face lowered towards mine. His lips brushed mine, gently, slowly. The power flowed across his lips into my mouth. I think I stopped breathing for a second. My skin felt like it was melting away and I would sink into his body, into that shining power.
"Looks like I got here just in time." It was Richard in the doorway.
I shoved my hand into Jean-Claude's chest and pushed him away hard enough for him to stumble. I was gasping for air like I'd been drowning. My skin pulsed and beat with the power that still crawled over me, into me.
"Richard," I whispered. I wanted to say that it wasn't what it looked like, but I couldn't get enough air.
Jean-Claude turned, smiling. He knew exactly what to say. "Richard, how good of you to join us. How did you get past my wolf?"
"It wasn't that hard."
I stared at both of them. I was still having trouble breathing. It felt like every nerve in my body had been touched all at once. The line between pleasure and pain was damn narrow, and I wasn't sure which side this went on.
The light was seeping away from Jean-Claude, leaving him pale, lovely, almost human.
