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So when he reaches for my hand, I let him take it.
I should push aside my doubts. This man wants me and he can make me happy. He’s trying. He chose me and next week he’ll be down on one knee, proposing to me in the presence of both our families. What more could I want?
“I care about you. I’ve never felt this way before.”
Taking a deep breath, I follow Iason back to the palace.
10
SELINA
At night I dream.
I dream of swans and herons on a silver lake. I dream of silver fish and dark shadows in its depths. I dream of a great ripple and a handsome merman coming to the shore.
I dream of his voice, of his hands, of his lips.
His arms around me, his hard body pressed to mine as we swirl through the water.
“I’m here,”he says, his hand on my hair.“It’s okay. You will be fine.”
He’s here. With me.
“Of course I came. I always come when you call.”
I feel safe with him. Safer than I’ve ever felt. I like his smile, his eyes, his teasing grin. I like the way he speaks to me with caution and abandon, treating me like his equal.
If I like him so much, why did I run?
Why did I run?
The question plagues me. Adar had been angry with me, I recall, because… of the shirt I brought him?
“So that I can pretend to be a man?”Those had been his words, and then,“Now you care?”
He was right. My actions have been confusing, and I lied. I lied to get my pendant back, but a lie is a lie, whereas he never lied to me. He teased and touched and kissed… but didn’t lie about himself. Didn’t tell me he was good. Didn’t tell me he would be nice.
And yet he was.
He saved my life.
Why did I run?
I got panicky. I like him… more than I should. But the danger remains. Which is why I can’t go back to the woods to see him, even if I dream of him and… miss him. How can I miss someone I’ve only seen a handful of times? I’ve seen him exactly as many times as I’ve seen Iason—including the times in the past—and yet I don’t miss Iason.
Is that terrible? Am I a terrible person? I don’t miss the man who has promised to ask me to marriage. The man I’ve dressed up for, chased for this proposal.
So why have I packed a basket with goodies and a blanket and find myself heading back to the woods? I had to rush to make sure Lily didn’t see me, as she’d apparently been looking for me, and my mother wanted to discuss the proposal day and what I will wear, what cake to tell the cooks to bake, and generally to organize everything.
It’s the last thing I want to think about.
It’s a brilliant winter day, cold and crisp, the air like crystal. A few people stare as I hurry past. I wonder if there is gossip about me already—the mysterious hooded lady always rushing away from the palace and into the woods.
How long before the palace knows, before my family finds out?
I make myself walk all the way out of the town, not to attract more attention, and then once the houses thin out, I start to run. The need to see Adar has been eating at me. I feel that I can’t breathe right the longer I’m away from him.
Is that a spell? I’d suspect magic had he not said that the curse has taken it all from him. Which makes sense. If he had magic, he’d have escaped already.
