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“…cagey?” Sindri suggests and grins.
“Very funny.”
“I know.”
“I was being sarcastic,” Jason says.
“I know that, too, wolf. Just get on with the program. How do we control the beast? Or is it a negotiation process? Do we have to sit with it, have drinks, and sing kumbaya together before it’s convinced to slink back inside?”
Jason shoots Sindri a thoughtful look. Maybe he’s considering ways of murdering him. Hard to tell. “You still don’t get it, do you? It’s a part of you. Itisyou. Having a bonding moment with yourself might help a prick like you who won’t admit to his own issues but yeah, what you need to do when a shift starts is to controlyourself.”
Sindri sighs. “Are all wolves this cryptic or is it your own special talent?”
“Sin is right,” Emrys says. “This isn’t telling me anything useful.”
“You need to feel that side of you,” Mia says. “Find a way to calm it down. It feeds on fear and anger. You need to find a balance in your mind.”
Sindri starts to laugh.
“If you’re laughing at her,” Jason snarls, “I swear—”
“Believe it or not, I’m not laughing at her. It’s just that…” Sindri waves a hand. “I can’t see a way to find balance in my mind. To get rid of the anger or the fear. It’s a jungle in there. Does any of you?”
I shake my head.
“Jason controls his beast,” Emrys says. “That means he knows how. He—”
“But does he?” Sindri sits up. “Do you, Jax? Can you control your shifts, pull them back if needed? Or are we barking up the wrong tree here, pun intended.”
“I told you that wolves don’t bark, you idiot.” Jason sounds faraway, gaze going distant.
“The question still stands, though, doesn’t it?” Sindri says. “You’ve been suppressing your shifts with drugs for… how many years now? Before yesterday, when was the last time you shifted or even started to shift?”
Jason pulls on a tuft of his hair. “I don’t see what that has anything to do with—”
“How long, Jax?”
“…four years, maybe?” He huffs. “I told you, when a red moon rises, it’s hard to control it even with the drugs.”
“Four years.” Emrys snorts. “This is useless. We’re wasting our time here. He probably doesn’t even remember how—”
“Stop it, all of you,” Mia says.
“What?” Emrys grumbles.
“He hasn’t shifted in four years. So what? He did shift before, and more than once, right, Jax?” She’s looking at him.
His gaze seems to focus again and he nods.
“That’s a lot more experience than you have, isn’t it?” she goes on. “Years of experience. Jason has been shifting since he was a child.”
“And could you ever control it, Jax?” Emrys asks.
“Yeah. Most of the time.” Jason lifts his hands as the others start protesting again. “It’s not always possible, okay? Especially without help. I’ll tell you all I know, you bastards. But you have to practice, I’ve said that before. Theory is all well and good but until you try it, you won’t know if you can do it.”
“God wept,” I mutter. “We have to risk it all to learn how to prevent it? That’s sick.”
“Take it or leave it,” Jason says with a small shrug. “I don’t know what else to tell you. It’s the goddamn truth.”
