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There was a beat of silence, and then Acacia’s voice was quiet as she asked, “You’re not mad at me for lying to you?”
“I’d love to be,” Cassie said. “But it’d be a little too much pot calling the kettle, so nah.”
“That’s very mature of you.”
“Yeah, I’m trying.” Didn’t feel like she was mature enough for Erin, though. “Except I did basically run away from Erin and Parker because I got overwhelmed.”
“That’s okay,” Kaysh said without an ounce of judgment.
Things had gotten, if not scary, then at least intense, and Cassie had fled. Then again, when had she done anything else? This spring, she’d let Parker pull away from their friendship with almost no fight. And at the beginning of the school year, when her friend group had chosen Seth, she’d just… let them. It was easier to let people go than to admit you wanted them in your life. At least that way you wouldn’t have to chance rejection.
The only thing Cassie had ever admitted to wanting was Caltech. But that was…
Caltech had always been her dream, but not for the school itself. It was about getting away from home, from anyone who looked at her with pity. It was about a whole new life, sunshine and palm trees and no one who even knew enough about her to pity her. She’d been trying to run away from her life since she literally ran away from her mom’s trailer at twelve. She’d slept on the floor of Acacia’s closet and they’d told no one where she was. It was three days before her mom had even realized she was gone. The Webbs bought Acacia a trundle bed after that.
Cassie didn’t want to escape anymore.
She’d found a life worth staying for.
“You wanna talk about it?” Acacia asked.
She did. She wanted Acacia to tell her what to do. How to handle this. How to fix it. Kaysh would know. She had always been better with people than Cassie.
But Cassie needed to figure it out herself. She’d gotten herself into this mess. Acacia had already done enough work getting her out of it with Parker. If Cassie wanted to stay, she had to prove it.
“I think I gotta do this one on my own, babe.” She doubted herself even as she said it.
“It’s okay to need other people, you know?”
“Good, ’cause I’d be a fucking disaster without you.”
“We’re both disasters anyway,” Acacia said. “But you got this, okay?”
Cassie tried to believe her. “Okay.”
Her phone buzzed in her hand. She switched Kaysh to speaker to check her messages.
Parker [6:34 PM]
You okay?
Cassie stared at the text. She had no idea if she was okay. She answered with what she knew.
Cassie [6:34 PM]
I’m sorry for lying to you
Parker [6:34 PM]
Thank you
“You gonna pick me up at the airport tomorrow with Parker?” Acacia asked.
“She just texted actually,” Cassie said. “I’m still pretty fucking lost on how she doesn’t hate me, but it seems like she doesn’t, so yeah, I’ll be there tomorrow.”
The last six months of her life had been turned upside down in the past week. All of it—what she’d been doing with Erin, what happened between her and Parker, all the shit she’d put Acacia through. But she was on the other side of it now. And she still had Acacia to give her a pep talk over the phone. She still had Parker texting her to check in.
Parker [6:35 PM]
