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“Almost Christmas,” Erin said.
Nine
CASSIE
Cassie had never gotten particularly excited for Christmas as a kid. She might have gotten a toy if she was lucky, but mostly it was her mom hauling her to every soup kitchen she could find, like maybe if she fed Cassie three Christmas dinners she wouldn’t have to feed her again for a while. When Cassie got older she’d marched into her favorite kitchen and offered to volunteer. They knew her there—she’d been coming for years—but they’d given her a ladle and let her eat in the back when she took a break, away from everyone else.
She didn’t hold a grudge, had nothing against the holiday now. But she wasn’t the type to bounce out of bed or anything like that. Especially not after last night.
Instead, she lay flat on her back and stared at the popcorn ceiling.
Erin had kissed her.
Erin hadkissedher. With Parker down the hall.
She still had to wrap Erin’s present. She’d planned to wrap it last night, but there was no chance of that once Erin had kissed her. Cassie wasn’t good at wrapping gifts to begin with; trying to do it when she couldn’t stop thinking about Erin’s lips? It probably would’ve looked like it’d been wrapped by someone without opposable thumbs.
Not that Cassiewasn’tthinking of Erin’s lips this morning. Butat least she had some distance from the fact that Erin hadkissedher with Parkerdown the hall.
Right. Yeah. It was fine. Cassie could totally focus on wrapping Erin’s present.
She’d bought it only last night, after the Christmas Eve party. She hadn’t thought about getting Erin a gift before then—half because Erin had been such a bitch to her over the phone, and half because Cassie wasn’t too good at guest etiquette. Obviously. Pretty sure good guests didn’t secretly kiss the hostess.
Regardless, she had the gift now: fancy hot chocolate mix in three different flavors. Parker had balked at the number of boxes Cassie had bought, but it wasn’t too much. In fact, sitting cross-legged on the floor of the guest bedroom on Christmas morning, Cassie thought maybe it wasn’t enough. What was an appropriate gift for your friend’s mom who you’d slept with before knowing the whole “friend’s mom” thing, but now that you did know, you still wanted to bang?
She’d also impulse bought several chocolate hearts at the register, little fifty-cent candies. Cassie had eaten three yesterday. The last heart, covered in red foil, lay on her bedside table. Parker had made a face when Cassie chose the white chocolate hot cocoa flavor, so that was the box Cassie opened now, dropping the chocolate heart inside before closing it again. She taped it shut before she could change her mind.
Cassie wanted to kiss Erin again. She didn’t know what the fuck Erin was thinking last night, but she didn’t care. She didn’t need the why. The reasons didn’t matter so much as the feeling of Erin’s lips against hers, Erin’s tongue brushing soft against her lower lip, Erin’s hands on her hips and her leg between Cassie’s, giving her something to grind against. It was dumb, to have done it with Parker down the hall, but Cassie could admit that was half the fun—there was something about the potential of getting caught. Or maybe that wasn’t what made it thrilling—maybe it was more that Erin wantedto kiss her enough to do it while her daughter was nearby. Like Cassie was irresistible.
It wasn’t a competition—it wasunhingedto think of it as a competition, but—Parker was perfect. Smart and talented and rich enough to go to private school, but from a place where the public schools were good enough she didn’t have to. Her parents were divorced, sure, but she had them both, loving her, supporting her, paying for her to go to college. Cassie could barely afford community college, much less Keckley, which she could attend only because she’d gotten a full ride. Parker’s great-great-whatever uncle had signed the Declaration of Independence. Cassie’s mom had told her so little about her dad that Cassie suspected she didn’t know who had fathered her. Parker had a solid hometown friend group, and easily fit into friend groups in college. Cassie had Acacia. Cassie had had a boyfriend of three years who hadn’t hesitated to try to get in Parker’s pants. She had friends who left along with him. The only person who had always been there for Cassie was Acacia, and even she had fallen under Parker’s thrall. Which wasn’t even bad—Parker was great, and Cassie loved her, too. It was just a lot.
Erin kissing Cassie felt like a win. Seth might have thought their relationship was worthless enough to throw away on Parker, but Erin wanted to kiss her enough that it didn’t matter Parker was down the hall.
All the trying Cassie had been doing had gone out the window. Why try not to be into Erin if Erin was into her? It had been less trying and more pretending, anyway, because she couldn’t not be into this woman. You could cut yourself on her jawline. Skin like porcelain, so soft and delicate Cassie forgot she wasn’t supposed to know what it felt like. Her crooked smile and that mouth. That mouth that shekissed her with.
So why should Cassie pretend? Sure, Parker probably wouldn’t be cool with it, but what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. Andanyway, like Cassie had reminded Acacia, Parker had told her she could bone whoever she wanted.
Not that Erin and Cassie were going tobonewhile sharing a roof with Parker. A kiss was one thing. Then again, Parker did sleep late…
As Cassie considered the possibility of morning sex with Erin while Parker slept, the door swung open and Parker herself came bounding in.
“Merry Christmas!” she shouted, vaulting onto the bed.
Cassie had finished her wrapping, so she climbed back into bed beside Parker, who was grinning ear to ear. Cassie couldn’t help but laugh at her enthusiasm.
“Merry Christmas to you.”
“I brought you your stocking,” Parker said, handing over a red and white knit stocking. “My mom always hung them on my door handle when I was little so I could play with smaller gifts and not wake her and my dad up super early for bigger presents.”
Cassie made a noise of acknowledgment, much more focused on the stocking in her hand and the fact that Erin got her gifts. They were simple and small: lotion, nail polish, chocolates. Her grin got bigger anyway.
“Don’t you love Christmas?” Parker said.
“You know what? It’s not bad.”
They headed downstairs, still in their new pajamas. Parker took the steps two at a time and disappeared around the corner. Cassie heard her and Erin wish each other a Merry Christmas. By the time Cassie made it all the way downstairs, Parker was at the kitchen island choosing between flavors of Danish. Erin was at the kitchen window, looking out at fresh snow that had fallen overnight. She turned around and smiled. Cassie wasn’t pathetic enough to say her heart skipped a beat, but—well, it was something.
“Merry Christmas!” Erin said, and that smile wasn’t any moreor less than friendly, but it still took Cassie a second to say Merry Christmas back.
