AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Don’t get used to it, it always goes away,”my birth mother used to say anytime happiness found me.“Fades like the end of a storm.”
Winter is pure, she’s honest, and loving, so fucking loving. Love exists for someone like her. She’s able to nurture it, not break it and crush it into a billion pieces until it’s nothing. My vines would wrap around her, the barbs of me would pierce her skin, and enter into her bloodstream. My dark side—the root of who I am—would wrap around her heart and strangle it until she’s just as dark as I am.
“You always need, take, want…”My birth mother’s voice rings in my ears.“Take, take, take… You need new clothes, help with schoolwork, food, love, blah, blah, blah… You’re a selfish little creature who will never experience love, just like your daddy. You think just because you came out of me I’m supposed to love you? So do my shits, Aleck, and I don’t love them. Love doesn’t exist, get used to it. Now stop crying and clean up this room.”
The sharpened fangs of my past sink its teeth into my need to move beyond it, tooutgrowit. The disgust of knowing I’ll lose Winter eventually tastes metallic and rancid on my tongue.
Heart on her sleeve, splitting at the seams with passion, ready to love hard.
You’re a selfish little creature who will never experience love.
I grind my teeth until my jaw buzzes with pain, knowing now what I fooled myself into denying only moments ago…
I do not deserve beautiful things.
Fuck.
TWENTY-NINE
WINTER
“Aglass of water, please.” I smile at the woman serving drinks, and rest with my elbows on the bar. She slides a cold bottle of water over with a cocktail napkin.
“Thank you,” I say, twisting the cap to take a long refreshing drink.
Keith twirled me around the dancefloor until I didn’t know which way was up. And while I’m having a blast with my friends, the weight of knowing so many things are coming to an end after tonight is resting gracefully on my shoulders.
Sondra and I have always joked that she’s my wife, and now she’sactuallyone, just not mine. And I don’t even want to think about the current status of my relationship with LA’s most eligible bachelor.
Like he knew it was his cue to enter, the heady scent of Aleck devours my senses, and the heat from his front soaks into my back.
I smile—my natural response to him—waiting for him to initiate contact. One, two,threeseconds and nothing.
“Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to buy a girl a drink?”
His hands connect with my bare shoulders, sending a shudder through my body, and slide down my arms to my wrists like shackles. He takes a step, inching closer.
“It’s an open bar…”
I smile, letting the laugh die in my throat.Smartass.
He’s been avoiding me. Not wholly, but enough to spark insecurity. What had he and my dad talked about? I needed to know, but when I asked my dad, he only said they were“getting to know each other.”
I know better. No onegets to knowAleck.
And when he sat, neck deep in conversation with his father and Hayden, I joined Midge for a while, hoping he would come to me, thinking I needed him near. Like he had at our beach house dinner. But he only dropped a kiss to my temple and moved on to talk to a mutual friend of his and Preston’s.
If this is his way of saying I’m not what he wants, he’s doing a fine job. I get the message loud and clear. Though, I wish he would just say it. His silence has ignited something resembling uncertainty in my veins, and I feel like a teenager pining for my boyfriend’s attention.
“Dance with me.” It isn’t a question, but a demand. His low tenor melts my insides and settled low in my belly.
I turn around and hold my hand out, and he takes it.
Aleck leads the way, broad shoulders and perfect posture. We face each other in the darkest corner of the dancefloor where the shadows complimented his sharp, chiseled features. It seems the darkness loves him. His arm wrap around my waist, pulling me into his body while his other hand slides into mine before bringing it to his chest.
Hefeelslike the same Aleck who called me his.
I hesitate before curling my arm around his neck, and he takes notice. He tilts his head, studying my expression. I’ve always felt so raw in front of him, like I couldn’t possibly hide the way I feel. His eyes have a way of finding my skeletons.
