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In the middle of the chaos, they’d also celebrated Connor’s birthday the day before. Logan had stepped in and barbequed the hamburgers, but Connor had kept asking why Gavin wasn’t there. Come to think of it, her son had been talking nonstop about Gavin.
Her phone had been lost somewhere in the chaos, a blessing as far as she was concerned. She didn’t want to know whether her mother had deleted Gavin’s messages or whether he’d tried to reach her again. It was probably in a box somewhere and she’d hopefully find it when she finally got around to unpacking everything. She’d used her mom’s phone for urgent messages with the gallery, and everyone else she needed to talk to was close by. Not that she’d seen much of her family while finishing her paintings. If the phone didn’t turn up, she’d get another one at some point.
Today, everyone had helped and had pitched in to get her and Connor settled, and most of the boxes had been unpacked. Her own clothes were still in suitcases, though, and some of Connor’s things were also still boxed up, but she’d spent the day unpacking her art supplies so that tomorrow morning she could start early on a final painting for the exhibition in Seattle. Middle of July had initially sounded like such a long wait, but now there was only a week left.
She had yet to recover from all the sleep she’d lost painting over the last week, and she was yearning for a few days to simply chill, but that would have to wait until after the exhibition. The finished paintings were still back in her old house. The shipping company would be picking them up the next morning.
Once the paintings were displayed in the gallery, anyone and everyone would be able to see them. She’d never felt so exposed before, so vulnerable about her work. But then, sharing her love for nature or her passion for the environment was very different from sharing the depth of her love, the strength of her desire for another human being, with the rest of the world.
The Kisswould be included in the exhibition, as well as the first painting she’d done after Gavin had left. That one, she calledThe Forever-Kind. Nobody would understand she was talking about her love for Gavin, but then nobody needed to. Those two paintings were not for sale. She couldn’t bear to ever part with either one. Big chunks of her heart had been mixed in with the oil while she’d been working on them.
In the kitchen, she got out a wineglass, poured herself some wine, and wandered through the house. It wasn’t big, but it was perfect for her and Connor. He was close to the rest of his adoring family, and she was still so thrilled with the studio Logan had added. It was everything she’d always wanted in a studio. The natural lighting was just right, and Logan had also installed lights for those times she wanted to work at night.
The sun had just set, and things were settling down on the ranch. She opened the door and walked out onto the back porch. It was going to take her a while to get used to the pitch dark and the silence. Not that Alisson was a noisy town, but she’d always been aware of the heartbeat of the town, even in the middle of the night.
Earlier that day, when she’d gone back to her old house to pick up the last boxes and made sure the last paintings were shipped off, she’d spent a few minutes saying goodbye. When she and Adam had bought it years ago, as newlyweds, they’d been blissfully unaware of what life had in store for them. They’d had a good life, and a part of her would probably always miss him.
It was also in the same house she’d discovered it was possible to fall in love again, only this time, she’d fallen way harder than she’d thought was possible, and she loved so much more intensely, it frightened her.
She’d loved her husband and it had taken her a while to learn to live with the heartache of losing him, but losing Gavin... It was as if a big hand tightened around her heart, making it difficult to breathe.
But she’d never really “had” him: she shouldn’t be experiencing this sense of utter loss.
Over the past few days, while moving to the ranch, Charlie, Lindsay, and her mother had taken turns trying to drop Gavin’s name in conversations, but she’d walked away every time.
She didn’t want to talk about Gavin or hear how much he and Sarah were enjoying Seattle. She didn’t want to know how happy he was, how much he loved the woman who’d come back into his life.
“There you are.” Her mother’s voice brought her out of her reverie. She, Charlie and Lindsay were approaching from the side of the house.
“We’ve knocked, but when you didn’t answer, we thought we’d find you here,” Charlie said.
“We’re ambushing you,” Lindsay added. “Come on, I also want a glass of wine.” Taking Brooke by the arm, she marched her into the house, her mother and Charlie right behind them. “Have you listened to any of Gavin’s messages, or is your phone still missing?”
“It’s probably still somewhere in a box. I don’t want to talk about Gavin.”
But this time, her mother was not going to be ignored. “You keep shutting us down when we try to talk to you about him. There are things you don’t know, things that would change your mind about him if you did. Please, just listen to us.”
“Gavin is with Sarah now. I’ve put it behind me and I really don’t want to talk about it.”
Her mother pulled Brooke close and hugged her. “My dear girl, we’ve been trying to talk to you for days, but you keep walking away. Gavin has left for Seattle, yes, but he’s on his own. I’m not sure where Sarah is, but she’s not with him. He came back to you, but you wouldn’t answer any of his messages or open your door for him.”
Brooke froze. Her brain was struggling to make sense of her mother’s words. Gavin was alone in Seattle.Alone.He wasn’t with Sarah.
After long minutes, during which she tried to connect all the dots, she pulled herself out of her mother’s embrace. There wasn’t anything to connect.
“Well, the bottom line is, he’s left. He obviously doesn’t feel the same way I do. Besides, he has been very clear, right from the start, that he wasn’t in the market for anything permanent. Anyway, he’s in Seattle now and I have an exhibition to focus on. Could we please talk about something else?”
“But...” Lindsay and Charlie began simultaneously.
Shaking her head, Brooke lifted her hand. “I can’t do this now, please?” she said, swallowing back the tears.
“Okay, sweetie.” Her mom nodded. “But please think about what we’ve said?”
By the time the three women left, Brooke was exhausted. Halfway to her room, she stopped to peek inside Connor’s room. He was sleeping the sleep of the innocent. She pulled up his blankets and kissed his forehead before she went to her own room.
The room was bigger than the one she’d had in the previous house, and her mom and Charlie had placed two chairs and a coffee table in the one corner. It was a lovely home—her room was warm and cozy—but she couldn’t shake the feeling something was missing.
With a sigh, she sat down on one of the chairs and closed her eyes.
