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I noted that down and turned to Calida. “And what do you focus on?”
“I don’t have access to the Royal funds yet,” Calida said. “But I try to help where I can.”
I rested my hands on the table. “How?”
“By listening.” Calida glanced at me as she played with the pen in her hand. “To the people, to my family. By trying to understand what they want and need.”
“And what do you think the people want?” I asked.
What did House Finardsil think the people wanted? I needed to know what their endgame was.
“The same thing we all want,” Darith answered as she looked up. “A better life for themselves and their families.”
That statement was simple, but profound. Didn’t the common people want the same things? But how did we accomplish that? What did Elves lack in their lives right now?
“But how do you make that happen?” Calida narrowed her eyes in thought. “How do you turn wants into reality?”
“You start with a dream.” I looked up from my notebook. “And then you work to make it come true.”
∞∞∞
We worked through the morning, sifting through the shelves and making plans. By afternoon, we had a solid direction and a list of potential projects. Mentorship and cross-training programs, a focus on community gardens and public parks, and a firm push for cross-regional inclusion and understanding. It was a lot, but I knew we could do it.
There was one research project I was particularly interested in; a fertility resiliency project that would help families struggling with infertility. But Darith and Calida tried to disabuse me of that notion quickly.
“It’s a politically sensitive topic,” Darith glanced away. “If you want to make a difference, you need to focus on something that doesn’t have the potential to be controversial.”
I leaned back. “But what if we could help families who desperately want children?”
“And what if we anger the Eternal court by pursuing such a project?” Calida countered. “The Guilds have a lot of power, and they will not hesitate to use it if they feel like we are treading on their territory.”
I didn’t mind crossing the Guilds if it meant that we could help people.
“Why is this controversial?”
The Elves dealt with infertility. Why not look for ways to help themselves?
“Infertility is a sign of weakness.” Darith bowed her head. “Manzimor is all about strength. We don’t want our weakness highlighted.”
I shook my head. “But what if we could help families?”
“We still see sharing pregnancy loss and infertility as taboo,” Darith said. “It’s something people don’t like to talk about, and when they do, it’s usually in hushed tones and with a lot of shame.”
In Midar, fertility was a sign of strength. Families with many children were blessed by magic. There was a taboo surrounding infertility, but it wasn’t the same as here.
People here seemed to think that it was a personal failing, something to be ashamed of. In Midar, it was a community problem. A lack of children was a sign that the magic was weak.
“So we’re just supposed to ignore it, then?” I asked, feeling frustrated.
“No.” Darith’s eyes teared up. “I didn’t say that. My wife and I… lost a child. It was hard, but we got through it. But it’s not something I would wish on anyone.”
I blinked, feeling my own eyes fill with tears. I didn’t know Darith was married, let alone that she lost a child.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
This was a lesson I was learning repeatedly; that things were not always as they seemed. That people were complex and nuanced, and that the world was a complicated place. Sensitivity and understanding were key if we were going to make a difference.
“It’s okay.” Darith wiped her eyes. “It’s just… these things are complicated. And your interest is admirable, but you need to be careful. Pursuing this project could cause more harm than good.”
