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"That's an education."
"It is and it's hard. But I understand it's not the same. It's not as intellectual."
"Intellectual is over-rated."
He smiles. "Really? You believe that?"
"Intellectual people."
"I don't know. I like them."
My cheeks flush. "We, uh, we were talking about you. Your job. Selling your work."
He nodsif you insist. "It's hard to sell my work sometimes. Clients don't always want something great. Sometimes, I come up with an amazing design and they ask me to get rid of everything interesting about it," he says. "But I still have my sketchbook. I can still draw for myself, design a piece for myself or a friend. And I've put some of that on my skin. Who else can say that?"
"Can I see?"
"This one is obvious." He pulls up his t-shirt to show off the Latin quote on his ribs. "But it's mine."
luctor et emergo
I struggle and I emerge.
I know that one. It was on my shortlist for my first tattoo. What has he been through that inspired him to pick those words?
I want to know.
I want to touch him, trace the lines, absorb every ounce of his experience. "It's beautiful."
"Thanks."
"Is that your favorite? Of yours?"
"I can't pick."
What does it mean? How did you struggle? What happened?"Of the designs you've done for clients?"
"Yours."
"Really?" I ask.
"No. But I do love it."
"You promise?"
"Cross my heart and hope to die." He drops his shirt. "But it doesn't always go that way."
I take a long sip of my drink. It cools my temperature. It slows my thoughts. "And you have to do it, because that's the job?"
He nods.
"A family friend is in that position. She always loved acting, practically ran drama club, tried out for every play. She was great and she got lucky too. A friend of a friend offered her a role on a show with a last-minute 'diversity push.' She's not waiting tables anymore. She's following her dreams. And she makes good money, but she doesn't have her outlet anymore. And she's not performing Tennessee Williams. She's on sitcoms playing the dragon woman neighbor. Or she's on dramas as the Asian sex worker. She has chances to do real work, but most of it is bullshit."
"I get that."
"I guess it's different, being the one in control."
"Kind of," he says. "I'm the one crafting the design, but I have to put my clients' needs first. I enjoy the challenge, most of the time, but sometimes—"
