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"Yeah?"
"But I'm not good at sharing. I'm not good at feelings. This might be the only place I can really be open for a while."
"Okay."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. Go to bed." I press my lips to her forehead.
She laughs. "Okay. Good night, Tricky."
"Good night."
She rolls onto her side and drifts to sleep.
For a few minutes, I watch her. I push my other thoughts aside. I try to stay here, in this moment.
I should feel at ease.
I should be bursting with joy.
Imogen wants more. She wants something real. She wants me.
But my sleep is uneasy.
The morning is too quiet, too awkward, filled with the silence that takes up all the space. The silence that always comes afterI'm sorry about your sister.
I say nothing about Deidre. I suggest a video-session next weekend. She agrees enthusiastically and says goodbye with a kiss.
But I don't find distraction in mental images of us tangled in my bed.
I don't find distraction in my run, my shower, my lunch.
I don't find distraction until my phone pings with a notification.
An entry fromHearts and Thorns.
I did a bad, bad thing…
ChapterTwenty-Six
"Criminal"
Posted by Hearts and Thorns
Sunday July 2, 4 P.M.
Idid a bad, bad thing.
Maybe I am channeling Fiona Apple too thoroughly. Because I have been a bad, bad girl.
And not in the fun way.
Okay, in the fun way. In a very, very fun way. A way I won't put into words because they could be used against me in the future case of The People vs. Hearts and Thorns for the charge of public indecency.
But hypothetically, if I was in public, with my top undone, his hands on my skin, and my entire body tuned to his—it felt so fucking good, and I want to be there so fucking badly. It's more than filling a strictly physical, medication-inspired need. It's spiritual. In a physical way, yes, but the way swimming is. I need it in my core.
I want him, physically.
