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Chapter Fifty-two
Justine
The girls all leave, leaving me alone with Carson. I’m sitting on the couch not sure what to say right now. I’m still so angry with him. And being with him just got me kidnapped, even though it all ended okay.
“Will you look at me,” he asks, and I look up; his face is ravaged with pain. “I’m so sorry about tonight, I knew things were heating up with the Jacks, didn’t think they’d try something like this, though.”
“It’s good it did, I don’t think Hunter and I would have found out about each other otherwise. Eileen wasn’t exactly forthcoming with details when she requested me,” I tell him, shrugging.
“Yeah, about that, what did she want?”
“Me.”
“And Hunter killing her?”
I shrug, “I don’t know how to feel about that. Part of me is upset because she was my mother, a shitty one, but still mine. But at the same time, I’m relieved that I don’t have to go through all the hurt constantly with her trying to be part of my life. I feel like I can finally move on from my past hurts.” And it’s true, sounds terrible of me but I feel now, with her death, I can really move on with my life. Her hurting me has always been in my head, causing me anxiety whenever I thought about it. Dragging down the people with me.
“It’s okay to be upset, I’ll help you talk to your dad about her if you want. We’ll even do up a funeral or something.”
He’s being sweet right now when really, I just want to be alone.
“We have to talk, Justine, talk about us.”
I shake my head. “No, we’re done, Carson. You cheated on me, when you knew exactly how I felt about that, I even told you so many times, not to put a label on us because I knew you were sleeping with other people. And then, your shit got me kidnapped. Sure, it turned out okay, but it could have been different.”
He comes to me, kneeling in front of me. “Don’t give up on us.”
“I didn’t, Hangman, you did that all on your own.” I try to stand up, but he pushes me back down.
“I love you, Justine, you’re the air I breathe, all I can think about.”
“You didn’t think shit about me when you were fucking other bitches!” I snap at him, wanting him away from me.
“I’ll prove it to you. I’ll vow it right now; you’re mine and I’m yours, no one else.”
Tears fall down my face as he says that. I want to believe him, but I just don’t. “I don’t, I can’t. I just...” I sigh, “I can’t do this right now.”
Carson is quiet, just staring at me, almost willing me to give into him.
Finally, he nods. “I get it, but I’m not letting you go. You’re claimed by me, you’re mine, and I’m going to prove to you that it’s only you for me. If that takes time, then so be it.”
He’s forty-five years old, it’s not like he has all the time in the world, I want him but at the same time, I don’t want to fall into a pattern. Maybe one day, I’ll forgive him but today is not that day. Not after everything else that’s happened tonight.
“You need to leave.”
“I’m leaving, but just know this isn’t over. I’ll keep a prospect posted outside. He’s your guard, I know Hunter said we have a truce, but I also don’t trust him.” He comes close to me as he gets off the floor at my feet, then rests his forehead on mine.
“I meant what I said, Justine. I fucking love you.”
