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CHAPTER11
As promised, the next morning, Selena wrote a letter to Mr. Rhoads, the butler at the London townhouse, indicating that they would arrive tomorrow and asking him to prepare the house. A groom was sent to deliver the letter. Afterward, Selena remained in her chambers for the morning. No one would pay any calls after the dinner party the night before. She wrote to a few friends to let them know they would be away in the city.
Selena and Katie spent the early afternoon packing her belongings. Unlike Owen, she did not have any wardrobe in London. They were going through her dresses when Mrs. Finch entered.
“Begging your pardon, your ladyship. Mrs. Hughes is calling. I did not know if you are receiving visitors.”
“You may show her up.”
Selena dismissed Katie. A few minutes later, her friend was shown in. The ladies embraced and exchanged a few pleasantries about the previous night's dinner.
“The real reason I came was to see if you are really fine with this scheme to go to London.” Sarah sat on a settee by the window, next to Selena.
Selena let out a loud sigh. “Part of me knows it’s important for Owen, but the other part doesn’t want to relive the past, the humiliation. I know Owen has a mistress in London. He’s going to see her. What if…” She bit her lip. “What if he finds her attractive and wants to be with her instead of me?”
Sarah gasped. “You do have feelings for Owen. I knew it.”
Selena pressed a hand to her forehead. “I don’t know how I feel. One moment, I want him to keep kissing me, and the next minute, I remember the sneer of indifference on his face just before he left for New Zealand.”
“Oh, Selena.” Sarah put a reassuring arm around her. “I know this must be difficult for you. I’m sure it is just as hard for Owen. The man must face his demons and see all the hurt he has caused you and others. It can’t be easy.”
“I know, and that is what I keep reminding myself. We are in this together. I just don’t know what the outcome will be.”
“Well, Bran and I will be there with you. Since Owen asked Bran to come, we will leave the day after tomorrow.”
“We are leaving tomorrow.”
“Good, then it will give you some time alone.” Sarah hugged her. “Be strong. I’m sure everything will work out in the end.”
Selena shook her head. “I’m not so sure.” She walked toward the window. “He doesn’t know about the second baby.”
“You haven’t told him?”
“No. All I told him was that I lost one child, but I didn’t tell him about the other.”
Owen may not remember his past, but Selena was guilty of purposefully keeping parts of it from him. On top of that was her hidden relationship with David. How would Owen react when he found out? Selena knew she would have to tell him. If Owen was willing to face his past mistakes, then Selena had to as well. The very idea of telling Owen made her stomach do somersaults.
There was still so much between them that Selena worried there would never be a way to close the distance. Because as much as she hesitated to admit it, she had feelings for Owen. With each stare, each kiss, a part of her resolve melted. All she wanted to do was fall into his arms and never let go.
“I shall send a card around when we arrive.”
Sarah’s statement brought Selena out of her musings. “Very well.”
Her friend gave her a sympathetic smile and stood. “I will leave you to your packing. I just wanted to stop by and see that you are comfortable with Owen’s decision.”
“Thank you. Who knows, it might be fun. It has been quite some time since I was in London.”
“I will see you in a few days.”
Sarah showed herself out, and Selena was left alone. Perhaps a stroll through the countryside would calm her. Selena went downstairs and called for her outer wear. As she waited, Katie came through the servants’ door to the kitchen.
“This just arrived for you, ma’am.” The maid handed her a letter.
“Thank you.”
Instead of reading it immediately, Selena waited until she had put on her jacket, hat, and gloves and had left the house. When she was far enough away, she read the letter. It was from David. He asked her to meet him at the old church. It was one of the rendezvous places they used. The ruined structure was a mile from Stonegate.
Perhaps it would be good to meet David before she left. It was time to decide. Would she stay with Owen and try to make their marriage work, or choose David? The last weeks with Owen had made her reconsider her options. Even though she was not thrilled to go to London, Owen was her husband, and she would support him. Each time Selena questioned herself, a small voice inside her mind told Selena to give Owen a chance, and so she would.
