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Owen showered her neck and chest with kisses. “I don’t deserve you. I’ve never deserved you. I took you away from your family, everything you cared for, all for my own selfish reasons.”
Selena stilled in his arms. Her bosom heaved, both from his words and from his kisses. “Did you remember more?”
Owen ran his hand through her hair. Some pins had fallen out during their tryst. He didn’t answer right away. Selena peered into his eyes. They were wet. Were those tears?
“Tell me, Owen.” She bit her lip. “What do you remember?”
“It’s not really memories, just feelings. Being with you just now triggered something. I feel—guilt. Our marriage was wrong. I married you for all the wrong reasons. I can’t explain it, but I know I have done you poorly, and I am eternally sorry.” He bowed his head. “Now your life has been threatened because of me.”
She stroked his hair, trying to give him comfort while silently acknowledging that what he said was true.
Owen met her stare. “I don’t know what to do anymore. Sometimes, I think the best thing to do is leave. Go away from you and everything I ever knew. Be someone else.”
“But you are someone else.” Selena kissed his lips. “You are caring, patient, loyal, the type of man anyone would be proud to call their husband.”
“Are you proud of me?”
How had they gone from almost making love to this? It was a valid question. Was she proud of him? Proud to call him husband? She was grateful for the man he was not, but would Owen stay this way? Pieces of his memories had returned, and with that came a greater risk that he could revert to his former self. Owen sensed her hesitancy. He maneuvered her off his lap.
What could she say? If she said she was proud of him, Owen would know she wasn’t being truthful. Selena stood and fixed her hair. Owen leapt from the sofa, restless, like a caged animal. He paced the length of the room. What was he thinking?
Owen’s back was toward her. Selena kept her distance, noticing the subtle changes in her husband’s stance. The muscles around his neck tensed, and he repeatedly curl and uncurl his fingers, a previous habit of Owen’s when he was agitated. This was the man she remembered, the tense, looming figure that had dominated her life. Many times, when Owen had been in residence in Stonegate, they’d had arguments or Selena had been at the end of one of his tongue-lashings, and this is how he would act. He would pace around, trying to intimidate her, and it had worked. Perhaps there was more of the old Owen present than she had suspected.
Then Owen took Selena completely by surprise. He faced the wall and punched it, letting out a frustrated howl. Selena jumped. An icy chill ran through her. It was the first time Owen had shown any aggression since his return. A twinge of fear edged into her mind. Had this trip been a mistake?
“No matter what I do, it’s not enough.” He pivoted around to face her. Owen clenched his teeth as the vein in his neck pulsated furiously. “It will never be enough, not for you – not for anyone.” Then his shoulders slumped, as if the rage had left him exhausted. He took a moment to compose himself before he spoke again. “While we are in London, it may be better if we keep our distance from one another.”
Selena opened her mouth to speak, but Owen silenced her.
“I will not hear any arguments.” The sharp bite of his words silenced any protests on Selena’s lips. “It is for the best. I refuse to put you in danger. When I have finished with my search for answers, then we will consider the next step regarding our future. That is my final word.” Owen stormed out of the room, shutting the door with a loud bang.
So that was it. Owen had decided for them. She should have felt relieved. From the moment she’d heard Owen was alive, hadn’t she wanted to be rid of him? Wasn’t that the reason she’d had Rodney help her plan her escape? This made things easier. She could slip away and live a quiet life. But the fact was—she didn’t want to.
Even with Owen’s outburst, Selena knew the sweet, gentle man she had come to know over the last weeks was in there. She had hope for Owen, even if he did not. He believed himself past redemption, that his past would haunt them, and that she could never love him. What he had to realize was he was both men, good and bad. The key would be for Owen to figure out which he wanted to be.
* * *
Over the next weeks, Selena barely saw Owen, and when she did, they were never alone. During the day, Owen was out on business or with Bran. He never said where he was or what he did. Some nights, he did not come home until the early hours.
In a cruel twist of fate, Selena felt as alienated now as she had before Owen’s injury. Somehow the tables had turned. Now he was the one avoiding her. The rejection stung and soon old insecurities and suspicions reared their ugly heads.
One morning, Selena had risen early, unable to sleep. When she had gone downstairs, she had found Owen sauntering in. He hadn’t said a word, but when he’d passed her, she’d smelled perfume. She’d had to swallow the bile which had risen up to her throat. He had been with another woman.
No need to jump to conclusions.
From that day forward, whenever she saw Owen, she tried to get close enough to smell him. Sure enough, there were a few times when she caught the scent of the same perfume. It appeared he had gladly gone back to his previous practice of taking other women to bed. He had lied to her. Hadn’t he said he wanted to make her happy? How foolish she had been to believe him.
What did he find so unappealing with her? Was she too timid? Ugly? What? Some days, she did not get out of bed until noon, too afraid to find Owen slinking in from wherever he went.
Finally, one day, Selena had had enough. She had to know where Owen went. From what she had concluded, he went to this woman’s house three times per week. At least, that was when he came in late and smelled like a woman’s boudoir. The next thing to figure out was, did she want to fight for her marriage? Was she willing to overlook his infidelities and move on? She didn’t know the answer to that question. First, she needed to see what Owen was doing.
The next evening, when she suspected Owen would make his clandestine trip, she followed him. She had gone out earlier in the evening, on the excuse that she was having dinner with a friend. Selena hired a carriage and waited down the street from their home. When Owen left around seven o’clock, she followed. Street after street slipped by until Selena wasn’t sure where they were headed. Finally, Owen’s carriage stopped outside a house, and Selena watched him go in.
She paid the driver, then headed to the entrance. There was nothing to give away what waited behind the door. Selena knocked. After a moment, the door creaked open. A servant answered. She looked surprised to see Selena.
“May I help you?”
“My husband just entered this place not a minute ago. I would like to speak to him.”
