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Andrew looked at his friend. “What do you mean?”
“The Holcombe I know wouldn’t care what one woman thought about him. He wouldn’t lose any sleep over it.”
Andrew winced, knowing that’s exactly what he’d done in the past.
“So I’ll ask again. Why does it matter so much that this woman forgives you?”
“Because I value her opinion.” Because he wanted Tabitha to look at him the way she had that first night when he’d agreed to help her in the library. The look of sheer happiness, like he had truly been her knight in shining armor. “I want to prove her wrong. Show her that I’m more than what everyone says I am.”
“You want her to see the real you.”
“Exactly.”
Lionel leaned back in his chair, sipping his whiskey as he pondered what Andrew had said. After a few minutes, an odd sound came from his friend’s throat. It grew until Lionel was laughing, a huge grin on his face. He was loud enough that several men close by glanced their way.
“Good God, man, control yourself. What’s so amusing?”
“I’m sorry.” Lionel wiped the tears which had formed in his eyes. “I just never thought I’d see the day when you fell in love.”
Love?
That’s not what he felt for Tabitha. It was preposterous. Andrew didn’t even know what it meant to be in love. No. Lionel was wrong.
“You’re mad,” he said to his friend.
“Am I?” Lionel leaned forward. “Think about it. You’ve seen this lady twice, barely a few hours at that. Both times, you’ve kissed her, which I will admit isn’t out of the ordinary for you, but now here you are, pouring out your heart, upset that she won’t forgive you. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”
“It’s not love, I tell you. I merely value the lady’s opinion enough that I want to make amends.”
“And get her in your bed, if I know you.”
He wouldn’t dignify that statement with a response. Instead, Andrew grunted and finished the rest of his drink in one swallow.
“I should have known better than to confide in you.”
The laughter died from Lionel’s lips, and his expression sobered. “I’m glad you told me. If you didn’t, you’d probably never see your feelings for what they truly are. Even if you don’t want to admit it, you care for this woman. Call it what you will, or deny it, but it’s there.”
Andrew rested his head in his hands. Now he was more confused. He’d lusted after women, that he understood; the powerful sexual attraction to a female, the need to possess and fuck until his passion was satiated. But after every interaction, he’d been able to walk away, to forget and move on.
With Tabitha, the very idea of forgetting her seemed impossible. And the thought of another man touching her, kissing the lips that he’d tasted, caressing the body he’d held, made Andrew seethe with jealousy. Tabitha was his.
Love be damned. It was lust, nothing more, because he wouldn’t allow it to be anything more than that.
CHAPTER10
The day after the concert, Tabitha lay in bed, replaying the events and conversation of the previous night. She wasn’t proud of what she’d said to Holcombe, to have been so callous as to repeat the vile gossip going around about him. For a brief second in the garden, she’d sworn she saw a look of hurt in Holcombe’s expression. Foolish girl. He was right. She was no better than the people who’d spread the tales. If she had any respect for the man, she would have listened before passing judgment without all the facts.
As usual, her mouth had gotten the best of her. But there was hope. When they’d met after the concert and spoken, the duke had hinted in his conversation that she shouldn’t make assumptions but gather the facts first. Did that mean he wanted to see her again? Perhaps to tell his side of the story?
Did she want to see him again? Of course she did. The problem lay in the fact that Tabitha had a growing attraction to Holcombe. She wouldn’t deny it. Could it turn into something real? His reputation with women was not a secret. Did he have a lover? The duke probably had a healthy sexual appetite, which frightened and excited Tabitha. But she couldn’t be with someone who wouldn’t be faithful to her. It would break her heart.
It was one of the many reasons she had refused matrimony so far. In the upper class, it was accepted that husbands had mistresses. The idea of her husband being with another woman did not sit well with Tabitha. Who wanted to be betrayed by the person you promised to cherish and love? Who had promised to cherish and loveyou? It was better to not fall in love at all and guard one’s heart.
No matter her feelings for Holcombe, she had to apologize. She would figure out the rest after that. Who knows? Perhaps the duke would want nothing more to do with her. A lump formed in her throat when she contemplated never seeing him again. No, she would make things right. With that resolved, Tabitha rang for the maid to help her dress for the day.
The following afternoon, Tabitha visited Fiona to help with the wedding plans. Tabitha was happy for her friend and had graciously accepted the role of maid of honor. They talked about the wedding dress, the guest list, and suggestions for the menu. By the time Tabitha left, she was ready to stay at home for the evening and read.
The next few days flew by. Between visits with Fiona, shopping, and social engagements with her aunt, Tabitha had little time to rest. Unfortunately, Lady Bedford had made no attempts to contact her daughter. But Lord Bedford had dinner with them one evening, then accompanied her and Aunt Caroline to the theater.
