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Should he believe her? He searched her expression for any telltale signs that she was lying, but all he saw was the caring concern of the woman who made him burn with want. The woman who crept into his dreams night after night. Perhaps it was time to tell her about his past.
Andrew took Tabitha’s hand, and they walked again at a leisurely pace, as if they had all the time in the world. They continued until Andrew was ready to speak. He had never opened up to anyone about his past. Only his grandmother knew what he had been through, and even she didn’t know his deepest thoughts. No one knew the true depth of his resentment toward both his father and his brother. Would Tabitha think him the man everyone had made him out to be, or would she see the truth?
When he was finally ready, he made an audible inhale before he started.
“My father always favored my brother as the oldest and heir. He and my mother had tried for years to have a child, so when William came along, it was a blessing. I followed three years later; my mother was thrilled. My father was so busy with William, molding him into the next duke, that my mother and grandmother were with me most of the time.” He took a few more steps, reliving those early childhood days, remembering the love of his mother.
“When I was ten, my mother died. She had been ill for a while. My father took it hard, but it devastated me. She had been my entire world. When I tried to make my father take notice of me, he would simply set me aside for my brother. I found the only way to get my father’s attention was to misbehave, and I did that very well, as you can imagine.” He glanced at Tabitha and gave a mischievous grin.
“I can imagine all the trouble you got into.”
“My brother noticed my antics and took advantage of the situation to make himself look better. Every time something happened, he blamed me, and my father believed him every time. He was the golden child. Nothing he did was ever wrong, and I hated them both more and more. I left for school, but whenever I came home, it was the same thing. Eventually I took to more social activities which my father disapproved of, women and gaming.”
“You were young and hurt.”
“No, I was resentful. Resentful of my brother for being looked upon favorably and resentful that my father wouldn’t show me even half the love he showed my brother. For the last few years, I didn’t speak to either of them. When William married, I was home for one day, then left. I couldn’t stand to think of him having everything he wanted, a future title, a wife, everything I didn’t have. Is it any wonder people are accusing me of William’s murder after the way I’ve acted over the years? Can you really blame them?”
“Yes, I can, because they don’t know you.” She came up to him. “Not the way I know you. You are more than you give yourself credit for. Not many men would have helped me as you have done.”
“Call it a moment of lunacy.”
Tabitha put her hands on her hips. “Do you relish the title of rake so much that you won’t admit that you have a soft spot?”
“Only for you.”
She was so close. Andrew reached out and drew Tabitha into his embrace. Perhaps she was right. He’d had the reputation of a rake for so long. Why change now? Because he wanted to be a better man, not just for himself, but for her. Ever since that night in the garden, his life had been turned upside. She’d made him question everything he thought he wanted out of life. But right then, he knew exactly what he wanted.
They were alone. No one would interrupt them. He gazed into Tabitha’s eyes and swore he saw the same longing as he felt. On a moan, he crushed his lips against hers, setting off a chaotic swell of emotions. He wanted to be tender, but every instinct told Andrew to possess her, to show Tabitha she was his.
He kissed her harder, plunging his tongue into her mouth hungrily, looking for the taste he remembered. Their tongues dueled and danced, each gliding over the other, sampling all the wonders. Tabitha tangled her fingers in his hair, pulling Andrew closer. With every moan she made, with each sigh that escaped, Andrew lost a bit more of his heart. He’d never thought himself one to fall so easily in love, but there was something about Tabitha that beckoned to him.
Andrew leaned her up against the nearest tree, pressing their bodies fully against one another. If there wasn’t the slight chance of discovery, he’d have her on the ground and naked as he made love to her all afternoon. All he wanted to do was bring Tabitha pleasure. But now was not the time.
Bringing up his painful past had left Andrew raw, and having his greatest desire so close had shattered the last of his restraint. He had to rein in his ardor. With great reluctance, he broke their kiss.
They stood there, chests heaving, their skin flushed, when Andrew leaned into her. She was glorious, her smaller frame fitting perfectly against his.
“No matter what, Tabitha, know that I did not kill my brother, nor did I have anything to do with it. I believe someone else killed him, but for what reason, I do not know.”
“I believe you,” she said and leaned in to give him another kiss, as if to reassure him. Before she could pull away, he put his hands on either side of her face to keep them connected a little longer. When he pulled back, he saw something in her eyes, but he wasn’t sure what.
Tabitha turned away and gently freed herself from between him and the tree. “Come, we’d better return to the house. Your grandmother has guests coming tonight, don’t forget.”
There was a subtle change in Tabitha, but Andrew didn’t think much of it. They walked side-by-side back to the house. The horse nickered occasionally to break the silence. Their shoes crunched the scattered leaves underfoot. The cooler weather was making its way in, signaling the end of summer. Soon it would be fall, and Andrew would have to stay at the estate for longer periods, since traveling in the cold weather could be treacherous.
What would it be like to have Tabitha with him? To share a bed with her every night and make love to her? To keep warm against her sensuous body and show her all the wonders of the flesh?
He chuckled softly. It was a fool’s dream. As long as there was a stigma surrounding him, how could he ask Tabitha to share his life? Andrew almost stopped in his tracks. Marriage? Is that what he wanted? He glanced at Tabitha. Instead of the knot of dread that had always formed when the prospect of matrimony was brought up, a wave of warmth spread over him.
The manor house came into view. The dowager duchess’s chambers faced this way. No doubt the older woman was watching for them, especially if she had directed Tabitha to the pond in hopes of them meeting. For once, he’d give his grandmother the satisfaction of knowing her plan had worked. He wrapped an arm around Tabitha, pulling her against his hard chest to take her lips in another hungry kiss. Tabitha returned the embrace with the same fervor. Yes, she was made for him.
CHAPTER14
It saddened Tabitha that the kiss ended so quickly. Her lips were swollen from his skilled ministrations. Each time they were together, another layer of the duke was peeled away to show her more of the man underneath. She was touched that he had shared so much about his upbringing. It couldn’t be easy for a man like Andrew to admit to having been thought a failure for most of his life. His confession made him more human, more vulnerable. And when he’d taken her in his arms, she’d been powerless to resist. Nay, Tabitha had been delighted to feel the press of his lips against hers.
Now here she was again, in Andrew’s arms, reeling from the force of his last caress. If she wasn’t careful, Tabitha would forget her original intent of coming here, to seduce the duke. Although Andrew was making it easy for her to see that he would gladly accept her as a lover. But he must never discover the truth about her plan.
That thought made her peer up at Andrew. There was a hint of something in his eyes. Was it lust? It couldn’t be love, could it? Certainly not. A man like the Duke of Holcombe did not fall in love—he made conquests.
