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Her heart broke with each word he spoke. She had to make him understand.
“No, I... I wanted to know what it was like, to be with a man. I didn’t want Lord Vance to be the first man I...”
“What, you fucked? Because let me tell you, Tabitha, you fooled me. I commend you, my dear, because it doesn’t happen often that I get the wool pulled over my eyes. How clever to use the ruse of coming to my house to apologize for your behavior and then masterfully manipulate me. The rake has now become the harlot. Mayhap I’m losing my touch. I can usually spot a liar from a mile away. But then again, you’ve always been the one chink in my armor. My one weakness.”
Lord, how she wanted to throw herself at him and confess her love. Although now did not seem the best time. No, Andrew would see it as another ploy, and that was the last thing she wanted him to think if she ever declared her feelings. She had made a right mess of things. But she had known this might happen. She deserved all the disdain and anger Andrew had to give her. This was all her fault. Nevertheless, she would explain herself, then she would leave, out of his life for forever.
Tabitha squared her shoulders, then met Andrew’s bitter expression. “Yes, I used you. I wanted a pleasant memory in case,” she swallowed, “in case things with Lord Vance didn’t go as planned and I had to...”
Andrew let her continue.
She sniffled. “I went to you thinking it would be a simple tryst, nothing terribly exciting, but enough to look back on with fondness. But then...”
“What?” Andrew took a step towards her.
Her lips trembled and her voice shook. “But it was so much more than I could have ever imagined. It was the single most wonderful experience of my life; to feel cherished, as if I was the most important person in the world. I can never thank you for how that made me feel, Andrew. It was the most difficult thing to leave you the next day, to distance myself. Don’t you see? I couldn’t let my heart get involved.”
“So you decided to just leave me without a word? All those times I called at your home and you refused to see me. It was because of the meeting with Vance?”
“Yes. I knew you would eventually get the truth out of me, and I didn’t want to burden you. You had done so much for me in the past, and you have your own life to live.”
“What kind of life would I have without you in it?”
The admission stunned Tabitha into silence. Was he saying he had feelings for her?
“Do you have any idea what you put me through when you refused me? All sorts of thoughts ran through my mind, each more outrageous than the next. I even hired men to follow you.”
“Follow me? For how long?”
“Since you sent me that letter. I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what, so I contacted a friend who had men following you to see where you went. It’s the reason I knew you were at Vance’s house tonight.”
“I should be outraged, but thank goodness you did, or who knows what would have happened.”
Andrew closed the distance between them and again welcomed her into his embrace. As Tabitha was encircled in the security of his arms, she drew herself against his body. He must care for her. Why else would he have had her watched if not to make sure she wasn’t in danger? The familiar throb pulsated between her legs, and her breasts ached from being so close to Andrew. He moved his hand to the small of her back to press her completely to him.
He whispered in her ear as he held her. “You have mesmerized me since I met you two years ago. You looked so tempting, with your cheeks flushed from arguing with your mother and your mouth set in that determined line. I thought how brave and strong a woman you must be, to do what you wanted and set your own path. At first, I thought it was a momentary feeling, but after you left, I found myself, especially at night, thinking of you. I couldn’t get you out of my mind.”
Tabitha put her arms around his neck, further extending their connection. The sound of his voice soothed her weary soul.
“Then, when I saw you at the recital and we kissed again, I figured it wouldn’t affect me at all. It was a test to see if the previous kiss had been as I remembered, but it made my yearning worse. The night we made love, I realized the depths of my feelings, my desire for you.”
He cupped Tabitha’s face so she looked directly at him and read the truth in his eyes.
“I’ve never felt this way about a woman before. All I want to do is keep you safe, to make sure no one ever hurts you. I live to see you smile at me again, as you once did.”
Andrew brushed his lips against hers. Merely a whisper, but it was enough to stir the fires of desire in Tabitha. She closed her eyes, allowing every word he said to seep in and warm her.
“All I want to do is make this night go away,” he said. “To take away the pain and memories from your mind.”
Andrew gently caressed her cheek. Tabitha leaned into his touch. When she opened her eyes, Tabitha saw the untamed desire in Andrew’s eyes. They wanted each other.
“You have been through an ordeal tonight, but know that I am not leaving you. I’ll be here when you want me.”
Every inch of her yearned to be with him, to reaffirm what she knew in her heart. “I need you now, Andrew.”
He tightened his hold on her. A look of uncertainly crossed Andrew’s face. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. Please.”
