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Dario reaches for the buttons of my coat and removes it from my body before he starts to unfasten the buttons of his own. I frown. Dinner service starts in ten minutes.
“What are you doing? You have to start service if I’m leaving.”
He places a hand on Apollo’s shoulder and leans into his ear. My frustration rises. I don’t want to call attention to this. If I’m going to leave, I want to do so quietly.
“I got it, boss,” Apollo croons.
“But don’t you need to be here to make the sides and breakfast for the turkey drive tomorrow?”
“Apollo has it covered. He and Anthony will have it all prepped and ready for me by morning. I’ll work from the kitchen there. The new restaurant is handling most of the sides. I’m only doing the signature dishes. I can head in early and handle all of that tomorrow.”
I sigh. “That’s a lot. I’ll help.”
“Not if you’re still not feeling well.”
Dario pats Apollo on his shoulder, then turns to wrap an arm around my waist. He leans in to kiss my temple and I swear I nearly burst into tears.
Maybe I’ll tell him tonight.
He leads me to the back room to retrieve my backpack and our coats before he takes me out to his car. We both drove today so I try to break away to get into mine. He tightens his hold on me and leads me to the passenger side of his car.
“Apollo will get your car to the apartment later.”
“I’m fine, really. I don’t need to leave, and you shouldn’t be going with me. We have a business to run.”
He purses his lips. “None of this comes before you.”
A sour look comes to his face as the words come out. I can see the wheels turning in his head. He drags a hand down his face and works his jaw.
“Come on, let me get you home and in bed. I’ll make you some soup.”
I smile. How can I not love him? My heart pangs. I do love him and now I’m having his baby.
Yet, neither of us have proclaimed our love since we’ve been in this relationship, if that’s what we’re calling it. If this were anyone else, I’d say we’re fucking. Nothing more, nothing less.
Sadly, it’s starting to feel like I’m a live-in fuck buddy. We try to do couple things, but our schedules are so busy. When we’re not working, Dario has been with his grandfather.
I haven’t asked for more because I don’t want to sound like a whiny brat. Heck, this was only supposed to be one night. Does a real couple really look much different than who we’ve been to each other?
“Car, talk to me. What’s going on in your head?”
“Maybe we’re rushing things. The timing couldn’t be more off. You’re going away and we don’t know for how long.” Tears fill my eyes. Ugh, I don’t know if I can do this emotional shit for nine months. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
He stops at a light and looks over at me and narrows that sharp gaze on me. I reach to run a hand over my hair and twirl the end of my ponytail nervously.
“I’m uncertain about a lot of things going on in my life at the moment, but you’re not one of them. You’re bringing me peace in all of this.”
All of what? I want to scream. However, I don’t because this is Dario and we never fight. I don’t want to start now. Fighting would only be the beginning of the end. An end I can’t afford for us to have now.
“I’m tired. That’s all. Can we talk about this later?”
He blows out a breath of frustration and moves forward with traffic. Guilt settles in my chest. I don’t even know how this happened. We’ve used condoms every time we’ve had sex.
My stupid pill failed me. Thank God it was with Dario and not one of the few others I’ve slept with. I think of Lou and groan. This is some shit he would have hoped for.
It was his talk of children and moving across the country to be a stay-at-home mom that turned me off. All things I never wanted with him. I wanted them with Dario, but now something doesn’t feel right about it. I just don’t know what it is.
It’s nothing but your pregnant brain telling you this is going to fall apart.
I certainly hope that’s the case.
Dario
I work my jaw as Carleen’s little snores fill the car. She passed out. She’s doubting us.
I haven’t gotten anything from my nonno so far. He keeps saying I need to have this meeting in Italy before he can tell me anything else.
I’m so fucking frustrated. It’s becoming clearer with each day that something else is happening right under my nose. I regret getting Carleen involved in my life. She’s right, the timing is complete shit.
