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“And you’re implying I don’t?”
He closed his eyes for a moment as if trying to find the control he needed not to hit me or yell at me with the horse waiting impatiently behind him. “Do we have to do this now? Do you have to keep playing these games with me? I thought you finally got what you wanted.”
“Oh, baby. I didn’t get anywhere near as much as I wanted.” My world might be falling apart, but this—flirting with this man, especially now that I knew just how hot things could be between us when he let go—was pure joy. “What would you do if I kissed you right here?”
“I wouldn’t have to do anything. Pumpkin would bite your face off. I’m the only one she lets get close.”
I chuckled. “You’re using a horse as protection now? I thought you weren’t scared of me.”
“I’m not.”
He didn’t sound nearly as confident as he had the day before. He wasn’t scared of me like most people were, but he was scared of what I made him feel, and that only made me want him more.
“I’ll see you later,” I said.
He glanced behind me, then met my gaze. “There’s no need for you to see me again.”
“We’ll see who needs what.” I turned and saw Rogue walking toward us. I waved to him, then headed back toward the house. I had a phone call to make. I was going to save my father’s ass, and after that, I was going to make some changes in my life.
17
RHYS
When I dragged myself upstairs to bed, I thought taking on extra chores to exhaust myself had worked. I was so tired I was destined to fall asleep immediately—without thinking of TJ. I could barely put one foot in front of the other, but as soon as I collapsed into bed, a reel of everything we’d done the night before began to play in my head.
My hand was around my cock before I even realized it. I don’t think I’ve ever come so fast from jerking off. It was like I’d been caught up in a vicious storm.
I lay there, trying to catch my breath, wondering where TJ was and if he was thinking about last night too. If he was also…
No. I pushed that thought from my mind. Why couldn’t I just forget the damn man existed?
I should never have let him touch me. When I saw him on the porch last night, I should have run as far away from him as I could get.
I was drunk. I wasn’t thinking clearly.
You knew exactly what you were doing. Being drunk was an excuse to give in.
I’d known sleeping with him would be amazing, but I’d had no idea it would fuck me up this badly. I was addicted to him after one night.
You were addicted to him the moment he showed up in the barn.
How could someone who pissed me off so much be so damn hot? How could I need him this badly? It went beyond want, beyond any desire I’d ever felt for a man.
What if I was…
No. I didn’t feel anything except the desire to fuck him. It had to be because I hated him and what we’d done in bed was so close to fighting. I’d needed that release since I couldn’t actually beat him to a pulp.
I rolled out of bed and stepped into the adjacent bathroom to clean myself up. I considered taking another shower, but my need for TJ was like an itch under my skin. It wasn’t something I was going to be able to scrub off.
I stared at myself in the mirror. I looked as exhausted as I felt, but I wasn’t sure I could sleep. Instead of calming me down, jerking off had me wired. For a moment, I considered going downstairs and snatching a bottle of whiskey, but that hadn’t turned out well last night.
It really couldn’t have turned out worse. I was going to have to find a way to fall asleep sober. I considered the bottle of Tylenol PM in my medicine cabinet, but I hated the way the pills made it so damn hard to get up the next morning. Even a hangover didn’t slow me down that badly, and with Grant and Jacob gone for the night, I needed to be at the barn at dawn.
I tried listening to music, a boring as hell podcast, and some of those weird sound patterns that are supposed to be soothing, but nothing worked. By three in the morning, I hadn’t done more than doze. I wished I’d just taken a fucking sleeping pill, but now it was way too late.
I got to my feet and stumbled toward the door. Maybe a snack would help, or maybe I’d down something fiery and soothing after all.
Just before I reached my door, I heard footsteps in the hall. Was Rogue up too? No, I was certain he was asleep. If it were Rogue, I’d know it. I grabbed a gun and moved slowly to the door, now more awake than ever. When I jerked it open, gun at the ready, I saw TJ standing in the hallway, staring at my door.
