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That was just common courtesy really, though, wasn’t it?
“And it’s so sweet how they always check in with you throughout the week, phone you to make sure you didn’t forget to have dinner—or lunch, as you call it—or even turn up at your apartment with cakes and donuts. Blokes don’t do that when they’re not serious about someone, Briar. I don’t know when it happened or if it’s something that gradually crept up on them,but they care about you.” She gave me a pointed look. “And you care about them.A lot.”
I exhaled heavily. “I do, yeah.” I’d done my best to pretend that I wasn’t way out of my emotional depth with these guys; to pretend that I didn’t want so much more than what we currently had together. And everyone had bought my act just fine. Until a more recent picture was posted online of the three of us.
Izzy had taken one look at it and declared, “This isn’t just sex to you.” Cat and Inaya had nodded, each insisting that I cared about Trace and Kalebwaymore than I’d let on.
Well, I’d rather that no one had picked up on that. It made me feel exposed. My one comfort was that I didn’t lookall love-sick in the photo—it was simply that anyone who knew me well would see that I wasn’t just hot for these men.
My dads were unfortunately no exception to that. They pestered me to bring both Trace and Kaleb to their house for dinner one night—no doubt meaning to put them through a gauntlet, though Ansel and Troy swore that that wasn’t the case. Like I’d believe that.
Of course, I had no intention of humoring my dads in this. Dinner at their place felt too much like ameet the parentsthing. I wasn’t sure how Trace and Kaleb would react to such an invitation; whether it would scare them off.
“And maybe you’re right that they care about me a little,” I told Izzy. “But the fact remains that they’ve not made any sort of commitment to me. Like I said earlier, I try to be positive that it could change if I give them time. But it’s hard.”
Izzy sat up straight and crossed one slim leg over the other. “I know. I’ve been where you are. So I’m now going to sling the same novel concept at you that you did at me: You could just ask the blokes where you stand with them.”
“You say that like you followed my recommendation and it then all worked out. I distinctly remember that you didn’t ask Cole what he wanted.”
“But if I had, I would have realized that I’d fretted over nothing.” She paused. “I know the thought of putting yourself out there like that is a shitifying one, but letting the whole thing tie you in knots isn’t a much better option. I don’t want it to reach a point where you get so jumbled up inside that you cut your losses and part ways from them out of self-preservation.”
I let out a long sigh and reluctantly admitted, “I do have occasional moments where I consider pulling back.”
“Then ask them what they want from you.”
I took a swig of my coffee, my brow pinching as I realized it was no longer warm. “You’re a real pushy bitch, you know,” I said, setting my cup down on the small table beside the chair, careful not to knock over the lamp.
“I’m channeling you, as it happens. And don’t try to distract me, it won’t work. I’m determined to make you take my advice and just ask them outright where their heads are at.” She pursed her lips. “Have you considered that maybe they’re sensing you’re feeling unsure and they’re misinterpreting it as you being uncertain about wanting to be with them?”
My brows dipped. No, I hadn’t thought of that.
“If that is the case, they might have decided that it would be best to proceed carefully and wait for you to give them some indication that you’re on the same page as them before they up the ante. I mean,you’reproceeding carefully because you’re unsure whattheywant. It’s not such a stretch to believe that they’re in the same boat as you.”
Considering that, I absently licked the inside of my lower lip. Her point certainly held merit. Neither Trace nor Kaleb struck me as people who’d feel unsure in any situation, but iftheyweremistaking my doubts just as Izzy said, it would only be natural that they’d hold back. Ugh, Idespisednot knowing.
I rolled back my shoulders, feeling far too tense and restless. “Can wefinallychange the subject now?”
“That depends. Are you going to ask them to be straight with you about what it is they want?”
I rubbed at my eyebrow. “At some point, yes.” Because Izzy was right that letting my insides get all knotted up wasn’t a good alternative. “I’ll give them at least another week. If they still haven’t thrown me a bone, I’ll talk to them.”
Izzy watched me for a long moment. “All right. Personally, I think you’re just delaying it because you worry that their answer won’t be something you want to hear, but I’ll pretend otherwise.”
“You just called me on it—that’s not pretending otherwise.”
She shrugged, her mouth curving. “I genuinely think you’ll find that they’re singing from the same hymn sheet as you. They’re as gone for you as you are for them.”
My back snapped straight. “Gone? I care about them, but I’m not gone for them.”
Huffing an annoyed breath, Izzy tossed a throw cushion at me. “Be honest, Briar, have you ever felt even a modicum of what you feel for those blokes for anyone else?”
Groaning, I threw the cushion right at her face, grunting in irritation when she easily caught it. “I don’t like your questions.”
“You don’t like answering them,” she corrected.
“Same difference.”
“Come on, be honest, have you felt that strongly for anyone else?”
