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‘How am I supposed to compete with that?’
‘You don’t,’ she said, dabbing her mum’s wet cheeks with a tissue. ‘And you shouldn’t even try. You’re far superior, Mum. Don’t ever think otherwise.’
‘Then why did your father leave me for her?’
Beth flinched. ‘Because he’s a fool. At some point he’ll realise that.’
‘You think he’ll come back to me?’
Beth’s heart sank. ‘Is that what you really want, Mum? After all he’s done?’
Her mum blew her nose. ‘Some days it is, other days I want to cut off his balls with a bread knife.’
Beth didn’t think either scenario would be in her mum’s best interests, or her dad’s, come to think of it. ‘Whatever Dad does in the future is down to him. He’s made his bed, as they say. The important thing is for you to focus on your life and what you want.’
‘I don’t know what I want.’
She stroked her mum’s hair. ‘But you will. Maybe not anytime soon, but at some point you’ll want to move on and you’ll realise there’s another life out there waiting for you. Another man, even. Someone who’ll appreciate you and make you happy again.’ She handed her mum her tea. ‘You’re quite a catch, you know?’
‘I don’t feel like a catch. I feel old, and useless, and undesirable.’
‘That’s because your confidence has been knocked. It’ll take a while to recover, but you’ll bounce back.’
‘You didn’t.’
It took Beth a moment to find her voice. ‘Choosing to be alone is a valid choice, Mum.’
‘So you keep saying.’ Her mum reached for the remote and switched onThe One Show, a not-so-subtle hint that she was done talking.
Beth stood up, it was time to leave. ‘I hope you have a better night, and don’t forget you’re meeting with the solicitor tomorrow.’ When her mum didn’t answer, Beth tried again. ‘I said—’
‘I heard you. I’ll be there.’
‘Good.’ It was important her mum received solid professional legal advice to ensure a fair settlement. Beth picked up the empty tea tray. ‘I’ll call you tomorrow to see how you got on.’ Again, no reply. ‘Mum, I said—’
‘I heard you. Now go, I’m watching the telly.’
With a sigh, Beth headed into the hallway and went downstairs, not entirely convinced that her mum was of sound mind, but satisfied she wasn’t about to do anything stupid. At least, she hoped not.
Locking the front door behind her, she climbed into her car, needing a moment to process her thoughts before driving off. Why hadn’t she bounced back from heartbreak, as her mother had so unhelpfully pointed out? She wasn’t entirely sure she knew the answer.
It was a lovely spring evening, and as she drove through the village, she admired the huge rhododendrons lining the country lanes surrounding Godalming. The sight helped to cheer her a little, as she reflected on her situation.
Two years after splitting from Hughie, she’d met Owen. Funny, charming, flirtatious and fiery Owen, who’d captivated everyone, including her family, and had seemed like the perfect man. But underneath the polished façade were a few less attractive qualities. Vanity, deceit and selfishness beyond reason. Eighteen months into their relationship she’d discovered the existence of Sarah, his childhood sweetheart back in Wales, who he’d never actually broken up with, and who fully expected him to return to his home town at some point and marry her. Something which only came to light when one of Owen’s school friends had visited London and drunkenly spilled the beans about his ‘long-term fiancée’.
Beth had immediately broken things off. There was no way she was going to accept his pathetic explanation of Sarah being his ‘backup’ in case he never found anyone better. Talk about callous, not to mention the utter cruelty of stringing them both along for so long. But there was another factor lurking beneath, which had taken her a while to reconcile – the fact that she hadn’t really liked Owen very much.
She’d fancied him and she’d had fun with him, but she’d never reallylikedhim. Rather ashamedly, the lure of great sex had kept her interested – a trait she didn’t find very appealing about herself. He might have used her, but she’d used him, too, and it wasn’t a pleasant feeling.
Consequently, she no longer trusted herself to make logical decisions when it came to relationships. She deliberately steered clear of men she didn’t fancy, as she had no desire to become embroiled with another Hughie, and actively avoided men shedidfancy in case they turned out to be another Owen. Which really only left one option. Staying single.
Turning into the car park of The Stag on the River, she slowed her speed. The last thing she needed was another car park altercation with Matt Hardy.
His SUV was parked by the main gate, so she headed for the opposite side, just to be safe.
Exiting her car, she collected her laptop bag from the boot and smoothed down her suit skirt, checking her reflection in the car window. Not that she cared what Matt Hardy thought of her, but the last time she’d encountered him she’d been covered in spilt tea, and even though he’d been the cause of that, she didn’t want to turn up dishevelled a second time.
With her hair secured, her jacket buttoned-up and her chin held high, she headed towards the pub, wobbling slightly as her court shoes sank into the gravel car park.
