AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘Well, neither do I, but I’m hoping they’ve stopped,’ she replied, embarrassed at the mention of her fragile state of mind – not that she could blame him. After all, she was the woman who hadn’t realised she was already wearing her scarf. ‘Or at least, they’ve reduced. They don’t happen every day now.’ She moved away from the food stalls. ‘Let’s head over, ready for the lights switch-on.’
He followed her towards the main square. ‘Have you spoken to anyone about it?’
She shook her head. ‘It’s not like I don’t know the cause.’
‘Still, you should seek professional help.’
She stopped to face him. ‘Oh, you mean like you have for dealing with your HMC?’
‘HCM.’
‘Whatever. I don’t see you seeking professional help.’ She resumed eating, hoping he’d take the hint and quit talking about it.
‘I don’t have panic attacks,’ he said, barely audible above the noise of the carol singers, who were now belting out ‘Joy to the World’.
She was about to argue, when she saw the pained expression on his face and her annoyance melted away. ‘Doesn’t mean you’re okay,’ she said, softly.
His gaze dropped to his feet. ‘Why do you think I’m not okay? I’m fine.’
‘Are you? Because most people wouldn’t be.’
Her dad certainly hadn’t been. He’d struggled with his demons, and look how that had ended. She’d hate for Calvin to head down the same slippery path.
The man on stage approached the microphone and announced that the countdown had started for the lights switch-on. ‘TEN!’ He gestured for everyone to join in. ‘NINE!’
‘The way I see it, I’ve just got to get on with it.’ Calvin turned to the stage. ‘Talking about it won’t help.’
‘EIGHT… SEVEN!’
Kate glanced up at him, hating to see such sadness etched on his face. ‘In which case, you need to find another way of dealing with your loss, so you can move on.’ She turned away and joined in with the countdown. ‘FOUR… THREE!’
A few seconds later, everyone cheered and the village square burst into a sparkle of flashing lights. The giant Christmas tree glowed with silver stars, illuminating the reindeer positioned around its base. The carollers began to sing ‘We Wish You a Merry Christmas’ and everyone joined in. Children danced around, couples held hands, and a group of young lads held their beers aloft and toasted the festivities.
They’d certainly never had anything like this in Clapham. It was nice being part of a community event. She glanced across at Calvin, realising this was probably what he missed about playing football, that sense of being part of a team.
She closed the lid on her empty chilli carton and nudged him. ‘What about hobbies? What interests do you have? You know, aside from football.’
He looked surprised by her question. ‘I don’t have anything in my life aside from football.’ He gave a half-hearted shrug. ‘Other than my family.’
‘Then no wonder you’re so depressed,’ she said, heading for a bin at the side of the square.
He caught up with her. ‘I’m not depressed.’
She binned the carton. ‘Grief-stricken, then. Whatever you want to call it.’
‘Taking up a hobby isn’t going to change that.’
‘How do you know if you’ve never tried?’ She walked off, glancing back. ‘Time for mulled wine. You coming?’
He jogged to catch her up. ‘Have you always had hobbies?’
She wrapped her scarf tighter. ‘Music, mainly. I wouldn’t have got through the last few years without it. It was the only thing keeping me sane.’
He sidestepped a group of kids playing with sparklers. ‘How come?’
She thought about it. ‘It relaxes me, I guess. Stops me overthinking and erases any negative thoughts I might be having. Music is known to release mood-enhancing endorphins, you know… like eating, exercising and having…’ She trailed off, suddenly feeling like an awkward teenager discussing sex with a parent. ‘Er… well, you know… falling in love.’ Flustered, she avoided looking at him until they arrived at the food stalls, where she hastily ordered two mulled wines. ‘My turn to get these.’
He resisted saying anything and allowed her to pay. ‘How did you get into music? Did you learn to play as a kid?’
