Page 20 of Hate Notes


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I frowned. It was always hot here. There were times the humidity was so thick, it covered you like a weighted blanket. Not to mention, he’d worked outdoors for Elliot Landscaping for years and never had a problem.

I stared at him a moment, running anything that might have been bothering him at home through my head, but came up short. Other than my scholarship debacle, there was nothing out of the ordinary, and as far as he was concerned, that was taken care of.

But something was up. I could tell. It was unlike him to lie, and I opened my mouth to call him out on it when Sara sprinted up the bleachers, a giant smile on her face. “Guess what?” She beamed. “Coach Mandy said I’m going to be a starter!” And amidst my father’s praise and Sara’s excitement, all of my concerns were forgotten.

TOPHER

The last vestiges of the sun slanted over the top of JT’s house, casting everything in an orangey glow. The hum of the pool filter mingled with the music playing in the background, along with the sound of JT’s raucous laughter.

Next to me, Gabby laid in a reclining chair while JT, Mikey, Luca, Bridget, and Xia messed around in the pool.

After practice, JT rounded up the crew for a swim at his place, which typically meant his parents would be home late so he’d sneak booze from his dad's liquor cabinet and flirt with Xia in the hopes she’d finally give in to his advances and hook up with him.

Laying there now, I wish I hadn’t agreed to come. After my session with Penelope, I got a text from my dad, talking about how he spoke with his alumni at VCU, and my mood turned sour. Even practice hadn’t been enough to lift my spirits.

My gaze focused on the ripple over the surface of the water, and every so often, Gabby reached out as if to adjust her bikini top, brushing the side of my chest like it was an accident. But I knew better. It was too many times to be coincidental. Normally, I’d turn to her and grin, charm her with a smile, and we’d wind up making out, which would spiral us wordlessly into “on-again” status. Like some unspoken contract. But today, I wasn’t in the mood, and the last time we broke up, I promised myself that was it. No more going back.

I was tired of the shallowness in our relationship. I wanted something more, a connection with someone deeper than all the surface-level crap. But Gabby just wanted someone to look good on her arm and screw around with. She was satisfied living off of her family’s wealth, and her ambitions didn’t extend past high school. Used to getting by on her looks and popularity, she planned on marrying into money. But I had zero desire to be that guy. Instead, I wanted to forge a future on my own.

JT cackled. “Why does that girl even bother with makeup?” he asked. “There’s no hiding that level of ugly.”

Mikey spluttered with laughter while the girls acted all offended—which they really weren’t because comments like that only exacerbated their feelings of superiority. After he made yet another remark, I cut him with a glare. He’d been making fun of some poor freshman chick for the last twenty minutes and I about had it. “Dude, why do you have to be such a dick?”

“What?” JT smirked. “Like you don’t think so. You know everyone’s thinking it.”

“Doesn’t mean you have to say it, asshole.”

He held his hands up in mock surrender as Mikey guffawed beside him. “Dude, sorry. What crawled up your—”

“Just give it a rest, man.” I scrubbed a hand over my face. “I’m tired of hearing about it.”

“Okay, fine. I didn’t realize you had a soft spot for ugly chicks.”

When that didn’t earn a reaction from me, he kept at it. Snapping his fingers like he had an epiphany. “Wait a minute, didn’t you have your first tutoring session with Skunk today. Is that what this is about?”

Everything Penelope said came back to me in a rush. And I wondered . . . Could that be what this was really about? The reason for my sullen mood?

I clenched my jaw and the muscles in my arms tightened with restraint, but I said nothing. Any remark on my end would just result in him starting in on Ewe, and that was the last thing I wanted. Not with her words and her anger still fresh in my head.

After a minute, he turned back to the girls and said something stupid to make them laugh again.

“Hey,” Gabby brushed a hand down my arm. “He’s just kidding.”

“He needs to grow up,” I said, eyeing him as he did some sort of backflip in the water off the side of the wall.

“It’s just JT being JT.”

I sighed as she turned fully toward me on her side. Why was our popularity a free pass to be douchebags?

“You okay?” she asked.

I slid my arm underneath my head, thinking about the question, unsure of my answer because I didn’tfeelokay. “Don’t you ever get tired of it?”

“Of what?”

“This . . . the us versus them mentality. All this Royal crap. Being rude to anyone who isn’t invited into our exclusive group.”

She lifted a shoulder. “No. I mean, it’s part of being popular, isn’t it?”

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