Page 56 of Hate Notes


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Topher’s lips turned up into a sorry excuse for a smile. “Because when you’re up here,” he said, turning back and raising his hand above his head, “you have a lot further to fall.”

I wondered how lonely it was to be surrounded by a ton of people, but not really have any friends. Suddenly, I knew what he meant when he told Julie no one really knew him. At the time, I’d been skeptical. I thought he was just being dramatic or trying to make her feel something for him. Or get her to go out with him.

But now . . .

Without thinking, I reached out to him and took his hand in mine. I gave it a little squeeze, if only to let him know I understood. A smile graced his perfectly full lips, and when he turned my hand over and brushed a thumb over the back of my fingers, my breath caught.

“Your polish. It’s pink today.”

I blinked, lost in the electric sensation from his touch. “What?”

“It’s pink.” He smoothed a finger over a nail before he gave me my hand back, and I could focus on what he was saying. “The first day of school it was black, and yesterday, I’m almost certain it was a different color. Do most girls paint them that often?”

I glanced down at my hands, then placed them in my lap, shocked that he noticed such a minor detail, rendering me mute.

He raised both brows in question when I didn’t answer.

“Uh. It’s just . . . I change the color depending on my mood.”

“Like a human mood ring.”

A hiss of air escaped my parted lips. “Yeah, exactly like that.”

“And what does pink mean? What kind of mood are you in today?”

I glanced away from him to the cross country kids who were doing some kind of drill in front of us. “I don’t know. It’s silly. It’s not like it really means anything,” I said, feeling my entire body flush.

“Well, I happen to think that’s pretty cool.”

“Really?” I peeked up at him.

“Really,” he said, but in the next breath, he grabbed his bookbag and stood. “I’d better get going. We have a late practice today.”

“Oh,” I said, sounding dejected.

I resented that he had to go, but then he turned and asked, “Hey, have you ever gone to a water polo game?”

Chapter 17

TOPHER

“Elliot!”CoachPaul’svoiceechoedinthepoolroom.

My teammates scattered from the deck, heading for the locker room while I toweled off, waiting for the ass-chewing I was sure to receive after such a shitty practice.

Slinging the towel around my neck, I straightened and gripped the ends like a lifeline. “Yes, sir?”

Coach paused in front of me, a scowl on his face and a clipboard in one hand. He tapped the underside of his ballcap with his fingers, pushing it up off his head slightly before crossing his arms over his chest.

“What was that today?” he asked, nodding toward the pool.

“Sorry, I . . . just had a lot on my mind.”

He stared at me, meeting my eyes while his jaw twitched. “You decide on that Bucknell meeting yet?”

“No, sir.”

“Well, what you waiting for?”

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