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She took another tiny bite of her sandwich as I polished off mine and started in on my fries, eating them four at a time because as long as I was shoving food in my mouth, I couldn’t make more of a fool of myself.You know, like throwing myself at a girl who clearly wasn’t interested.
“That’s a lot of dedication.”
I shrugged. “You do that with the things you love, I guess.” I peeked at her in my periphery and our eyes locked before she glanced away, her cheeks turning pink.
“Yeah, I guess so,” she murmured.
We ate in silence for a few more minutes, and once I finished, I wiped my hands on a napkin, hating that the night was almost over. We had more fun than I ever thought possible. We laughed and talked and danced. My throat was raw from screaming, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get the image of her, arms raised, all swaying hips and rhythm, out of my head.
The soft sound of her voice as she sang the lyrics sunk hooks under my skin. And I could still feel the shape of her lips.
My breath caught on the memory. Regardless, I couldn’t put off the inevitable. No matter how much I wanted the night to go on, it was over. I needed to take her home.
I glanced over at her, hoping she’d say something to prolong the evening. Hoping in vain she might tell me she never wanted it to end. That she might give me some kind of indication of how she felt.
She was halfway finished with her sandwich when she wrapped the last bit up and dropped it in the bag. “I’m ready when you are.”
I nodded, but instead of turning on the car and heading out of the lot, I sat there, staring at her under the lamplight. A golden glow cast her in shadows. Her dark hair framed her face, and when she glanced over at me, I could see the nerves dancing in her eyes, in her half-smile as she said, “Thank you for bringing me tonight.” She shook her head. “It was . . . amazing.”
My stomach twisted. “Life should always be full of amazing things, Penelope Ewe. Especially for you.”
I pretended not to notice the way she cringed at the sound of her name. Mostly because I hated myself for it. All those years I allowed the practical jokes, pretending like they meant nothing. Not even to the girl they were directed toward.
I wished I could take it all back. Find a way to erase the past and start fresh.
“I don’t know about that,” she said, staring down at her nails.
They were bright pink, and I ached to know what that meant. Pink was pretty, cheerful. Pink was good, right?
“Well, I do,” I said.
She glanced up at me from underneath a fan of dark lashes, and I thought,maybe it wasn’t too late. I’d devote myself to reframing her mindset, and I wouldn’t stop until I reversed the damage I caused. Until not a single ounce of negativity remained when she heard the sound of her name.
“And what about you? Is that what life is like?” she asked, breaking through my thoughts. “Full of nothing but amazing things?”
She was teasing. I could tell by the way her lips curled at the corners, but there was a seriousness in her tone I couldn’t ignore. And so I answered in kind.
“Sometimes. At one time, yeah. When I was younger, before I joined the polo team. Before I got old enough that my dad started talking about my future. But lately . . .” I swallowed and stared out the windshield.
“Lately,” she urged.
“Lately, I think about where my life is headed. I wonder about the past four years and fear they were a waste. I’ve devoted so much time to something, and what if he’s right? What if it gets me nowhere? Is it worth risking my relationship with my family?”
All the hours, the sweat, the hard work, and dreams. Soon, they’d mean nothing.
“Because of your dad?”
I nodded.
“Just tell him, Topher. Not just that you’re taking the meeting with Bucknell. He already knows that. But tell him what you want. How youtrulyfeel. Stand up to him.”
“I already have. I’ve tried. I just don’t think he cares.”
“He’ll care. And if he doesn’t, screw him.”
I searched her eyes, wishing for her quiet strength. “Why does it feel so hard?”
“Because most good things in life are hard. They’re never easy, are they? If they were, they wouldn’t be so rewarding.”
