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That was the problem. There were a million tiny “buts,” little doubts I couldn’t quite nail down.
“Mmhm,” he murmured against my lips, moments before a high-pitched scream—one I recognized—pierced my ears.
Luca’s head snapped up at the sound, and I glanced across the room before I sucked in a sharp breath. Mia held her t-shirt out, now soaked. Even from here, I could see the flames of anger burning in her eyes while Barry blinked in shock behind his liquid speckled glasses.
JT and Mikey stood in front of them, along with a crowd of onlookers, and though I couldn’t hear what Mia said to them at this distance, if her red cheeks and the snarl on her lips were any indication, it wasn’t a friendly exchange.
“I should probably . . .” I muttered, motioning to the scene in front of us just as her gaze lifted and locked on mine. She raised her hand, jingling the keys out in front of her before she spun on her heel and headed for the door.
“No, Mia, wait!” I hollered as I started in her direction, hating for her night to end this way.
“Hey, hey, hey. It’s fine.” Luca reached out and blocked my departure with his arm. “I can drive you home. It’s better this way. We’ll have more time together.”
I glanced down at his arm as my stomach churned, suddenly sick at the thought of being stuck in a car alone with him. “No. I have to make sure she’s okay.” I pushed his arm aside, breaking free from his grip as I made a beeline for the door where she’d disappeared.
“Mia!” I yelled as I burst outside into the cooling evening air.
“I told you,” she said, spinning on her heel to face me.
“I know.” I raised my hands in surrender, hoping to calm her. “I just really wanted you two to hit it off. But you were right.”
“Of course I was,” she spat.
“It’s just that I don’t want you to be alone, and I want to make sure you find someonenice. Someone who won’t hurt you. Come fall I won’t be around anymore, and—”
“Stop. Just stop.” She squeezed her eyes closed, her mouth a tight line. When she blinked them open again, they turned to blue flames. “When are you going to realize that it’s you that you’re worried about? It’syouwith the problem.”
“What?” I blinked, having no clue what she was talking about.
She stepped closer, pointing at me. “You keep saying you’re doing this forme. That you don’t wantmeto be lonely. That you wantmeto find a nice boy. That I need to expand my social circle and get out more. You’ve been saying this for months, when you were the one whose friendships suffered this year. You’re the one dissatisfied with your social life.”
“I have tons of friends.” I tried to laugh it off, but it came out forced.
“Yeah, maybe you do. Or, at least, you did. But when you and Adam got serious, you dropped everything for him. He stole all your time, all your focus and energy. Anyone or anything else was forgotten. Then, once he hurt you and you broke up, I think you took a good look around and didn’t like what you saw. Because while you were so invested in that shithead, everyone else around you moved on. Your old friends don’t call you to hang out like they used to, and you no longer have Adam, so you’re lonely. You want someone, Ella. Which is okay. You can want love. But stop focusing on me when you need to focus on yourself. Because I’m fine.”
She slowly backed away, her eyes still locked on mine, but I was still too speechless to say anything. Instead, I stood there, mouth parted, a cinder block settling in my chest.
Was she right? Was my desire to hook her up with Barry really just a deflection?
Everything she said about Adam and allowing my relationships to suffer while we were together was true. And in the end, all I had to show for it was a broken heart.
Still, I refused to believe all of this was about me. Barry was a catch, and he was perfect for Mia.
“Say bye to Barry for me,” she said, before she turned and clicked the key fob on our car and slid inside, leaving me standing alone on the pavement.
I sighed as I slowly made my way back into The Broken Record, squinting to allow my eyes a moment to adjust to the change in light when they locked on Luca, still standing in the corner where I left him. He threw his arms up in the air and shrugged, then signaled for me to return, and I realized with sudden clarity it was the last thing I wanted.
Stalling for time, I scanned the crowd in search of Barry.
I plowed past JT and Mikey who stood, surrounded by a crowd of kids, still laughing. I ignored Luca’s imploring gaze and checked by the stage. But still no sign of Barry. Until my eyes locked on the bathroom door and I caught a glimpse of him before he disappeared inside.
Closing the gap, I leaned slightly inside the open door, propped up by a plastic wedge. “Barry?” I called.
“Yeah?”
When his voice echoed back at me, I stepped inside, bumping the doorstop in the process. With a whoosh, the solid oak door closed behind me. I found Barry at the bathroom sink, cleaning his lenses off with a damp paper towel.
“Is everything okay?” I asked, propping my hip against one of the metal stall doors.
