AllFreeNovel
Share Us
A thousand reasons ran through my head. Most of them had to do with Adam. But if I told Mia the truth, that he’d shown up and stirred up all these old feelings and insecurities, she’d only get annoyed and tell me to move on, that he wasn’t worth it. That I’d already wasted enough time on him. All things I knew but did little to help me actually forget how much he hurt me.
Besides, she wouldn’t understand. She had no interest in love. At least she hadn’t expressed one to me, anyway. She had zero clue what it felt like to give someone your heart and have them rip it from your chest.
So instead, I shared another truth. One I’d nearly forgotten after the toe-curling kiss I shared with Barry. One that Adam had brought to light again this morning. “Because I’m waiting for more. I want a guy who would do anything to have me. One that’ll put in the effort before he’s even won my heart.” One that’ll kiss me first, I thought.
“I don’t think they make guys like that our age,” she said, and for a moment, I wondered if she knew more about love than I realized because her statement seemed awfully accurate.
Still, I thought about what I wanted, and despite knowing how ridiculous she’d think I sounded, I said, “I want my Prince Charming.”
Anything else would only lead to heartbreak.
When Barry entered chemistry class with a smile on his face the size of Texas, I died a little inside.
Shifting uncomfortably in my chair, I prayed we didn’t have a lab to work on, but as fate would have it, ten minutes after the start of class, Mr. Gray announced our assignment and asked us to pair up.
“Hey.” He turned to me almost immediately and glanced down at his hands as he said, “Listen, I just wanted to talk about—”
“The kiss?” I finished for him, wanting to get ahead of it.
He peered over at me, a wrinkle of concern knotting his forehead.
“Yeah, about that . . .” I continued. “It was a fun game.”
“A game,” he repeated like he didn’t understand.
“Yeah. You know”—I waved a hand in the air with a half-smile—“a product of playing Truth. No big deal, right?”
“Right.” He hesitated before he nodded, brushing off the flicker of hurt in his eyes, and for that, I was thankful. “So about this lab . . .” He turned to his workbook, while I did the same, and we jumped right into the assignment, working like that for the rest of the class while I pretended like I didn’t notice all the longing glances he sent my way or how cute he looked bent over a notebook, a pencil behind his ear. Or the way we partnered so well together, working seamlessly like a well-oiled machine.
After class, we gathered our things, and he followed me out. "So, what are you doing after school? I thought maybe we could grab a coffee or something?" he asked.
"Uh . . ." I bit my lip; I hated to reject him. "I have this huge psych exam to study for."
"Oh, okay."
Students brushed past us, and I stared at their backs longingly, wishing I could follow.
"What about tomorrow?" he asked, shifting on his feet.
"Can't." I winced at the harsh sound of my voice. "Sorry, but I'm behind with a couple of papers. I'll probably be busy all week. Maybe another time?"
When he ducked his head, my heart squeezed with guilt. "Yeah, sure."
"See you later?" I asked, before I could cave and agree to hanging out.
He met my eyes once more. A small smile that didn't reach his eyes touched his lips. "Yep. See ya later," he said, and then he turned and headed down the hall while I watched his retreating form, hating how it felt to disappoint him, but knowing it was necessary.
Chapter 20
BARRY
MylegshookasI stared at the clock in the living room from my spot on the couch. Over the course of the past few weeks, I’d begun transitioning from a nerdy, socially inept boy to a man who kisses his crush in the bathroom of a trendy hangout. I no longer had the wardrobe of a five-year-old. I walked with confidence, held my head high when I used to stare at my feet. I no longer felt so hopeless, so invisible. A world of possibilities had opened up inside of me, and I somehow knew today was just the beginning of this new and improved version of myself.
A lot was riding on tonight, and I could feel the nerves building inside of me like a tidal wave ready to crash on dry land. With any luck, I’d leave the ball with Ella on my arm and in my life as more than a classmate and a friend. But if things went south . . .
The vice grip on my chest squeezed.
Though I’d been waiting for the ball to make my final move, I’d gone to school Monday, hoping to pick up where Ella and I left off, to at least some extent, but she’d gone radio silent. Not only did she brush off the kiss as nothing, we shared no friendly banter or passing notes. At lunch, she was nowhere to be found and never seemed to have a spare moment. Even in the halls, I spotted her rushing to and from class, as if afraid to pause for even a moment lest I stop to speak with her. It was like a switch had flipped somewhere between the bathroom at The Broken Record and the hallways of Lakeview, and though I was trying really hard not to take it personal or worry about what this meant for tonight, I couldn’t help but fear the worst—that all my preparation and plans might be for nothing.
