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A part of me was afraid of what he’d see. “I . . . I don’t know,” I stammered.
But I did know. I absolutely knew. I was just afraid to admit it. For some reason, telling Ethan the truth felt like a betrayal.
“Mia . . .”
“Maybe?” I said like it was a question.
He swallowed, then glanced away for a moment. “It just feels weird. I’ve been hanging out with Beth more, and you’re starting to like Carson. Both of you will be leaving at the end of the summer, and I’ll still be here . . .” he trailed off, staring at something on the wall opposite him.
I let him process his thoughts because he was right. A lot was changing. If anyone knew that, it was me. All I had to do was spend an afternoon at home to realize just how much things had changed. And it frightened me too, but I couldn’t just ignore it.
“I see the way he looks at you,” Ethan muttered.
My head whipped toward him, my heart in my throat. “What do you mean?”
Ethan rolled his eyes. “Come on, Mia. It’s not even the kiss on the cheek he purposely did to annoy me. It’s the way he looks at you when you’re not watching. Like you’re the best thing in the room, the same way he’s looked at you for years. He’s liked you since the day you met at the beach. But you were always mine.Myfriend. Right from the start.”
I swallowed. Hard. My mouth went dry. “I can be both,” I said, leaving the insinuation hanging between us—both Carson’s girl and your best friend.
“What if it’s supposed to be us?”
I blinked. “Us?” A weird feeling shimmied down my spine.
Ethan nodded, his mouth set. His expression was more serious than I’d ever seen it. Reaching out, he slid a hand to the base of my neck, and I froze.
“Ethan . . .?”
“Have you ever thought about us being together? Before these last couple weeks, I never really did, but when I saw you with Carson the other day, it made me think. You’ve been my best friend for nine years. All this time, you’ve been the one there for me. We’ve shared everything together. It’s always been us. What if it’s supposed to be us now?”
I wanted to shake my head,No, to talk some sense into him. But what happened next occurred so quickly I couldn’t stop it. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine.
Chapter 27
CARSON
Irestedashoulderagainst the wall beside the door to Ethan’s bedroom and raised a hand to knock before I noticed it was ajar. Nudging it open, I readied myself to ask Mia for a minute alone so that I could finally ask her to the snowflake ball, but I opened my mouth, then immediately froze.
Ice chinked in my veins. My body went numb at the sight—Ethan on his bed, one hand pressed to the back of Mia’s head as he kissed her.
My stomach lurched, and I spun around, leaving as quickly as I came and bashing my knee into the door in the process. A soft curse escaped my lips, and I thought I might be sick.
I entered my room and began to pace, my gaze wild as I tried to process what I just saw.
My suspicions were true. And my worst fear had come to fruition.
Ethan and Mia were more than just friends.
I paused and raked both of my hands through my hair and tugged as I ground my teeth. My foot made contact with the trashcan beside my desk and I kicked it, spewing paper and protein bar wrappers everywhere.
Ethan had years of friendship with her, and all of that time she spent hating me. I was a fool to think I had a chance.
I clasped my hands behind my head and stared at the massive canvas plastered on my wall, the close-up of me swimming—the one Mia had stared at in awe—with the insatiable desire to rip it to shreds. Next year, I’d be at Duke alongside her, and like the idiot that I am, the minute I found out she’d applied there, I imagined us together. Foolishly, I hoped it would be as more than friends. Selfishly, I yearned to get her away from Ethan, to finally have her all to myself.
I reached for my swim bag on the floor and picked it up, slinging it over my shoulders. It was late, but Coach had given me a key at the beginning of the year, so I could train after hours.
And right now, I needed to swim.
“I guess the joke’s on me.”
