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‘And as for his awful mother, yikes!’
‘Yes, at least Dad will be the over the moon on that front – no need to worry about any more not-so-cosy get-togethers with the Quirkes.’ Liv was keeping her voice light, but it would be a lie to say she wasn’t hurt and sad at the end of things, even if it was just the end of her idea of things with Eddie. She imagined Maya telling her that she’d equally miss a headache, if she’d put up with it for over six years too.
‘No, Liv, he definitely won’t be over the moon, not if he thinks Eddie Quirke hurt you in any way. You know Mum and Dad, they’d put up with anything if they thought it made us happy, even the devil himself, or his incarnate: Barbara Quirke.’
‘Listen, don’t say anything to them, not until I get home, at least. I’m going to offer to do some more shifts here, just so I have time to think and I want to sort the flat into an Eddie-free zone!’ She was going to call Pete next, tell him the truth about Anya’s affair, and ask him to keep it to himself too – for now, at least. The last thing she needed was to go home and bump into Eddie and Anya at every turn. She could just as easily take her Christmas holidays when everyone had gone back to work and it would take her out of the city when they returned.
‘Do you want me to come and stay with you for a few days? I’m pretty handy at changing a door lock, among other things,’ Maya said.
‘No. Not yet, Eddie isn’t going to turn up here for at least another week. By then, I’ll have straightened myself out and given him the news that I’ve moved him out of the flat,’ she said. At least knowing that, probably, Eddie would be more bothered about not having anywhere to live than the idea that things had finished between them made throwing him out a lot easier.
That evening, when Liv’s shift had finished, she walked towards the stairs. She should look in on Finn O’Connell, really, just to make sure he was doing okay, but she couldn’t face it. Probably, he wouldn’t expect her to show up every evening. If there had been any change for the worse, Morgan would have let her know.
She turned away from the stairs and headed towards the front door instead and out into the driving snow. They’d been lucky with the weather so far. It was soft underfoot and although there were occasional icy patches, for the most part it was easy enough to walk on. Outside the hospital, as she waited for her bus in the cold, she thought about that evening of the accident and it felt as if it had been almost the starting point to what was coming next, even though she hadn’t realised it at the time.
She’d made a snap decision. The right decision, she was certain of that much, but it was bringing her down a road she didn’t want to travel, even if she knew it was exactly where she’d always needed to go. With that, she looked up towards the sky. The clouds had been driven back for a short reprieve and the moon, silver and full, was suspended low in the sky. She counted seven stars. Just seven and she wondered what that might mean, if they were a message from Rachel. As the bus pulled in to the stop, she realised that perhaps they meant nothing at all; they were just stars in the sky and if Rachel was really looking out for her, all she had to do was trust that everything was working out for the best.
Just as the bus was pulling away, she thought she saw Estelle walking up the avenue towards the hospital and a little part of her was glad she hadn’t gone to visit Finn. She wasn’t sure she could cope with seeing him and Estelle together now. Not when she felt so thoroughly on her own.
9
Liv woke the following day and tried ringing Pete first thing, but there was no answer, which was a pity, because Pete always pulled her out of the doldrums. Still, she was determined not to wallow. So, last night had not beenthenight, but she knew that there had never been any guarantees that it would be. The main thing she had to keep reminding herself of was that Eddie had made that ring for her, whatever that meant – whether he was planning on a Christmas engagement or not, it meant that he loved her.
It was mad, really, but as she tramped out across the farm with the dogs in the cold morning air, it niggled her again, the fact that Eddie had never actually told her that he loved her. She’d told Maya once, who’d laughed. And then of course it all made complete sense. How could Eddie be anywhere near halfway normal about his emotions with a mother like Barbara Quirke?
But it mattered to Liv some days more than others and it mattered today. She wouldn’t mope, because it would only worry her parents, but there was no harm getting it out of her system with a long walk and a little cry along the way if she felt like it.
Of course, she realised that she would have to make peace with Eddie. Not that she’d fallen out with him exactly the previous night, but she’d hardly even said thank you for the book. Instead, she’d tried to swallow her disappointment and made her escape as bluntly as possible. She pulled her phone from her pocket.
‘Hey,’ she said and she knew she soundedtoobright.
‘Huh?’ Eddie sounded as if he was still half asleep.
‘Sleepyhead, late night?’ He’d have gone back to Flannelly’s, probably hadn’t even eaten dinner. Honestly, Liv thought, if it wasn’t for her making sure he ate three meals a day, she wondered if he’d survive at all.
‘Yeah. Too late probably.’ She heard him scrabbling. ‘What time is it?’
‘It’s after nine.’ She smiled.
‘Flipping hell, Liv, don’t you know it’s the holidays? What on earth has you up and ringing me at this hour?’ he groaned.
‘I just wanted to say thanks for the gift.’
‘The gift?’ He hadn’t the foggiest idea what she was on about. She imagined him, bleary-eyed; probably wearing the T-shirt and boxers he’d worn the previous day, his hair messed up and sleep still in his eyes. She knew him well enough now to know he wouldn’t actually be fully awake until he’d had a shower and a strong cup of black coffee.
‘My book, it’s lovely, thank you.’
‘Oh, that, right…’ He was obviously waiting for her to hang up.
‘Anyway, I thought maybe we could do something today. A walk on the beach?’
‘Oh, I don’t think so. I need to rest up,’ he began and she started to laugh.
‘Come on, Eddie, you’re not that old.’
‘No, but neither is Ronaldo, and you don’t see him killing himself out the days after a game.’
‘And you’re not a premier league player either. A walk on the beach is just what you need. We can have breakfast in Diane’s first and then take a gentle wander afterwards.’
