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*
There was something about seeing Finn and Estelle together that sparked something in her. She’d been putting it off since she’d found that note, but she knew now she couldn’t put it off any longer. She walked down the three flights of stairs to the huge foyer that was normally packed and noisy with people coming and going, but today, it was silent apart from the furry indistinct sound coming from speakers in the tiny gift shop next to the entrance.
She’d have to ring Pete. She’d thought that night when she found the note that the worst part would be having to tell Eddie that it was over; that she knew, that there was no going back. She’d been wrong. She’d known as soon as she heard his voice, bleary from the previous day’s booze, that telling Eddie would not be the worst of this mess. Telling Pete was the bit she was absolutely dreading. Then she thought of those Carry On movies and Hattie Jacques administering foul medicine, and she knew that was what she had to do now: she had to take her medicine, make the call that would break her best friend’s heart. She couldn’t put it off any longer.
As usual, Pete answered on the second ring.
‘What can I do for you Mrs Tucker?’ That was Pete, always in good form, quoting fromCarry On Matronagain.
‘Ha ha…’ she said, because she knew really this wasn’t a call for making jokes about. ‘Listen, I wanted to talk to you. I’ve found something…’
‘Go on.’ Pete was suddenly serious. He had the uncanny knack of being able to see right through her, even when he was over a hundred and fifty miles away; perhaps he picked it up in the silence as much as the words. Liv imagined him, sitting forward, pushing his glasses higher up on his nose. ‘Is everything all right?’
‘I hope you’re sitting down for this, but it’s Eddie and…’
‘Anya?’
‘You already knew?’ Liv hadn’t expected that.
‘No, sorry, not about Eddie, not until you called just now.’
‘God, no, I’m sorry. I feel as if…’ She felt weirdly as if it was her fault, but that made absolutely no sense at all. ‘Are you okay?’
‘I’m fine,’ he said and she knew from the way he said it that he actually was; perhaps knowing the full truth was a bit of a relief, better than wondering at half a story. ‘I’d be more worried about you. You and Eddie were together a long time. How are you?’
‘Believe it or not, much better than I’d have imagined, if I’d ever thought this could happen.’ She laughed, because honestly, never in her wildest dreams could she have thought that Eddie and Anya would do something like this.
‘Are you still in…?’ He stopped for a moment, trying to get his bearing perhaps. ‘Oh, God, you’re not there on your own, are you? Will I come up? Help you sort things out?’
‘No, absolutely not – you need to get yourself sorted. It’s sort of settled on me now. I’ve moved all Eddie’s stuff out of my flat and told him it’s over. The worst is done.’ She laughed, a nervous sound in the back of her throat. Overhead, she saw the clock was just about to fall on the hour. ‘Listen, I’m sorry to do this in such a rush, but I’m due back on shift now. I’ll call you later, okay?’
‘Sure, no problem, Liv…’ There was so much more to say. There would be so many more conversations about this, probably over the next couple of days, but for now, Liv knew there was only one thing she wanted to ask.
‘Will you be okay?’
‘I’ll be fine. Honestly, Liv, it doesn’t change anything for me and Anya – it was over anyway – but it was hard to see a way out of it with the coffee shop and you know…’ He didn’t need to say any more. ‘Liv?’
‘Yes?’
‘Mind yourself, yeah?’
‘Of course and you too.’ She smiled before swiping the call to end. And she realised that far from being more miserable after the call, she actually felt relieved. Another piece of the past put to rest.
*
Francine was sitting in the nurses’ station when she returned to A&E. It seemed they were having a brief reprieve. ‘The calm before the storm, no doubt.’ Francine chuckled. ‘So, what’s been going on with you this Christmas?’ She looked at Liv with the sort of knowingness that negated any lies.
‘Oh, just your usual kind of Christmas fun and games…’ Liv thought she might as well be honest; until now, there hadn’t been five minutes on the ward to talk to anyone about anything much more than being on the job. ‘I found out that Eddie has been seeing someone else…’ she said.
‘Oh, no. I’m so sorry,’ Francine said and she reached out and patted Liv’s hand. ‘And you’ve been stuck here, on your own for the whole holiday.’
‘Yes, maybe it was for luck, being here for Christmas. If I’d gone home, I’d probably be none the wiser.’ She shook her head, because honestly, she was glad she’d found out, even if it hurt, somehow knowing was almost like having the fears that she’d buried at every turn confirmed and it was a surprising release. ‘Anyway, I’ve told him it’s over and…’
‘But maybe…’
‘No, Francine, it was meant to be. We’ve never been right together, Eddie and I – it’s never lived up to what I always wanted.’ She just hadn’t been brave enough to admit it before. ‘And I think finding this out… well, it’s given me the courage to do something about it.’ She smiled. ‘I’ve moved all his stuff out of the flat.’
‘Can you just do that?’
