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‘I just wanted to let you know that I’m back in Dublin, I thought it would be good to get back to normal and I had things to tie up, before the New Year,’ Pete said when he called her that evening. Usually, he texted, so she had a feeling that maybe he just needed to talk. Had he come back earlier for her? In her hour of need? It’d be typical Pete, always thinking of everyone else.
‘Well, if you’re not doing anything I’ve got some curry dinners in the freezer?’
‘That sounds like a plan.’
A few hours later, he arrived with beer and brought the freezing cold night air into the cosy flat with him.
‘So?’ Liv asked as she popped his plate into the microwave for a final blast. She’d made the curries just a week before Christmas, thinking at the time that it would be good to have something easily to hand when she and Eddie got back from Ballycove after the Christmas break. It seemed like a million years ago, as if that had been someone else’s life she’d been living by mistake.
‘So, yourself,’ he said taking the top off a bottle of beer and handing it to her. She understood; of course she did. He didn’t want to be fussed over, having people looking at him as if there was something wrong with him, waiting for him to break down because things were finished with Anya. It must be a relief to be back in Dublin. He just wanted to chill out and shoot the breeze.
They sat companionably on the old sofa watching one of those movies that turns up every Christmas, and they ate their chicken curries in comfortable silence.
‘I like what you’ve done with the place,’ he said in the ad break.
‘What, emptied out half the crap that I hadn’t even realised was here?’ It was true; the flat felt bigger, more hers somehow now that all of Eddie’s belongings had been removed.
‘Have you changed the locks?’
‘Not yet. It’s on the to-do list,’ she said and maybe it should be, because the last thing she wanted was Eddie dropping in when he felt like it.
‘I can do that for you, if you want,’ he said sipping his beer.
‘I’m sure you have enough to be doing as it is.’
‘The real fire is great; it really makes the place feel like home again.’ He pointed his fork towards it. It was burning away gently in the grate. She’d picked up another fire log and a bag of kindling in the corner shop. ‘It’s nice to see it lit again.’ He was smiling, probably thinking back to the day when he had cleaned the chimney after Rachel begged him when they’d first moved in.
‘Yes, I had almost forgotten it was there, to be honest.’ Which, she knew, was probably the story of her whole relationship with Eddie; somehow, she’d lost sight of all the lovely things she had in her life. The fireplace was only the beginning of it.
‘You’re probably going to have to hang a stocking from the mantelpiece next Christmas.’ He was making fun of her.
‘Not likely. I intend to be home in Ballycove next Christmas, with a little luck,’ she said because she’d missed her family this year. Actually, sitting here with Pete was probably the first time she wasn’t lonely since Christmas Eve.
‘It was a fairly crap Christmas for both of us. Don’t worry, odds on next year being a thousand times better,’ he said and she caught that underlying, quiet optimism that had always marked him out. It had buoyed her through her darkest days and she was glad to have him here with her tonight.
‘I’m glad you came over, Pete,’ she said.
‘That’s me, always at your service.’ He was joking, but he reached out and touched her hand, held it for a moment. ‘You know, he was never good enough for you.’
‘Ah, stop it,’ Liv said, because she knew he was only trying to make her feel better.
‘I’m serious – everyone thought it. It was different with me and Anya. People looked at us and I knew they thought I was punching far above my weight. She was so beautiful, while I’m still…’
‘I never thought that,’ Liv said, although, honestly, when she looked at him sometimes she still saw that geeky kid from school. He’d been all teeth, arms, legs and glasses.
‘Maybe not, but other people. I know, they thought Anya was only going out with me for my money and…’ He looked away from her now. She had a feeling that the break-up might hit him harder than he expected after all. ‘But I really thought, in the beginning…’
‘Listen to me, Pete. Anya was very lucky to get you. You’re sincere and funny and…’ She looked at him now, as objectively as she could. He wasn’t the same boy she’d grown up with anymore. He had turned into one of those men who wore his good fortune with unassuming ease. He had turned from a geeky kid into an attractive, successful man – and she’d never really noticed it until this moment. ‘The problem with you, Pete, is that you’re operating in life as if you’re still that geeky kid. You don’t seem to realise that Anya was lucky to get you. Together, you made a really striking couple.’ Then she smiled and sipped her beer.
‘What?’
‘I don’t know if I should tell you this, really, you’ll probably cast it up to me forever more.’ She shook her head, then keeping her gaze on the fire that nestled gently in the grate, said, ‘The first time I saw you together, I had to do a double-take.’ She smiled at him. That’s what friends are for, after all: making you feel better about yourself when you need it most.
‘Huh?’
‘Yep. I remember that first night we bumped into you both at the cinema in town. I noticed you first, sitting before us. I didn’t recognise you; you know how it is when you see someone you know out of context? But, you just seemed to be so… striking, you turned heads.’ It was true. She’d spotted their silhouettes first, but there was something in the way they carried themselves and then later, she’d waited to see them, hadn’t recognised Pete at first. They had been walking towards the exit and it had taken a moment to realise it was actually Pete. He’d looked like one of those men you see hanging about the Kilkenny Design Centre, all expensive casual jacket, good hair, attractive and intelligent-looking and then, of course, the spell was broken, when she realised it was just Pete.
