AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘Look, this is a lot of things, but it’s absolutely notyourmess, Liv. You haven’t done anything wrong.’
‘No? I’ve let myself be a complete doormat to Eddie Quirke, obviously. When I told him that moving Anya in here wasn’t okay, he just completely ignored me and now look at where I’m left. They’re parading around Ballycove like Romeo and Juliet and they still think that somehow I’ll just roll over and let them both move into my flat.’
‘Please, don’t talk like that. If I know Anya, she’ll have convinced Eddie that it will be all right, and as for Eddie, well, we all know that he might be a lot of things, but emotional intelligence isn’t one of his strong points.’
‘I can’t think about it now, Pete. Honestly, I just have to get to work and when I come back here later, I’ll start sorting through all this stuff,’ she said wearily, even though she hadn’t even started yet. She hung up the phone. It was time to get to work. Some unreasonable voice inside her knew she’d have to get this sorted before New Year and that didn’t give her very long, but for now, she needed to turn up at the hospital and do her job.
*
Even though Liv was absolutely famished and in need of a long hot shower and a good night’s sleep, she had this strange longing to see Pete, so she stayed on the bus home from the hospital, bypassing her usual stop and heading on towards the city. Pete had bought a swanky docklands apartment a few years earlier. It had views of the river and, on a clear day, he could see right out to the Dublin Mountains and across the bay from the balcony window. Funny, but it had never really suited him, Liv thought now. He’d had some interior designer come in and do the place over. He wouldn’t tell her how much the whole thing had cost, but she knew Smeg fridges that were the size of army tanks and showers that came at you from every conceivable angle did not come cheap. It was all very lads’ pad, New York loft living and although, in theory, Liv knew she should love it, she’d never actually been able to relax there. It was why, if they were having a night in, he always came to her flat. She assumed he liked being surrounded by their shared memories. In many ways, he’d been as much a part of putting the place together with her as Rachel had been.
She got off the bus as it rounded past some of the older parts of the city. Everything here was being redeveloped; if it didn’t have a destruction order on it, it usually had a blue plaque. This was old Dublin, home to the great revolutionaries, the playwrights and perhaps less likely to be celebrated but also some of Dublin’s more notorious criminals. It was still a bit of a walk to the block, but the rain had stopped and it was pleasant here, with the smell of fresh coffee filling the air from the many couture coffee shops, the sound of the river lapping gently nearby and the city slowing down in the distance. It was actually quite soothing to be taking a walk after work. She turned left into Pete’s building, stabbed in his security code – they both used the same one on everything as a default: Rachel’s lucky number. She punched in fourteen three times and smiled. They’d often joked that if they wanted to rob each other, it would be too easy – in so many ways, there were no secrets between them.
She rode up the elevator. Pete’s apartment was top of the house. He had direct access to the roof garden and she remembered now, they’d planned on having some summer evenings there, although they’d never quite happened. It seemed that getting together a foursome was always just too difficult to manage. She wondered now how much of their lives had been engineered around Anya and Eddie keeping their affair going on without them being any the wiser.
Out of courtesy, more than necessity, she rang his front doorbell. Again, the code was easy, fourteen – fourteen. Inside she heard high heels tap their way along the parquet flooring to the door. Liv stood back for a moment. She hadn’t expected Pete to have company, and she felt a little foolish. Why on earth wouldn’t he? Hadn’t she gone out to dinner with Finn O’Connell? What was to stop Pete asking someone out on a date? Had she expected Anya to open the door?
‘Oh, it’s you,’ Anya said, momentarily as thrown by Liv’s appearance as Liv was by hers.
‘Yes, I’m looking for Pete.’
‘Well, obviously. I didn’t think you were here to cosy up to me.’ Then she stood back, taking in everything about Liv, assessing with the eyes of someone who could see far more than Liv wanted her to.
‘Anyway, hasn’t he told you?’
‘Told me what?’ Liv said. She didn’t like standing here like an uninvited – or perhaps unwanted – guest.
‘No, well, we’ve been busy.’ Anya smiled coyly and twirled her hair suggestively. Liv had a feeling that she knew exactly what Anya was hinting at. ‘And well, the phone was the very last thing on his mind; actually, I’d say the only thing he’s had on his mind all afternoon, is me…’ She threw her head back and laughed.
‘Are you moving back in?’ Liv thought the words would choke her.
‘Yes. That’s right; we’ve kissed and made up. Actually, Pete’s just gone out to buy the most expensive bottle of champagne he can find.’ She licked her lips suggestively. ‘And if it’s good enough, I might just distract him some more.’
‘I see.’ Liv backed away from the door. She felt sick. It was not just the sort of sick that she felt if she’d forgotten to eat, this was a whole new sensation.
‘You know…’ Anya leant against the door. ‘You should think about patching things up with Eddie. Ask him to come back to the flat. At least if he’s staying for a while, you might have some chance of getting him back again.’
‘You must be joking,’ Liv said turning away from her and heading for the lift. She pressed the button to call it up to the top floor. ‘You and Pete might have patched things up, but I’d rather be on my own than have Eddie Quirke anywhere near me again.’ She looked up at the lift display; the bloody thing seemed to be stalled on the second floor.
‘I’m not saying he’d actually take you back, but at least you’d have the company. It’d be better than nothing. After all, Liv, you’re not getting any younger, are you, and it’s not as if you’re a girl who’s had to beat the men away from your front door at any stage.’
‘Well, you know what they say, Anya, better on your own than in bad company.’ Damn it, she thought, looking at the lift, which was showing no signs of arriving soon. She turned on her heels, headed for the stairs and as she raced down the steps, she was sure she heard Pete’s voice come out of the lift. She couldn’t face him now, couldn’t think what they’d have to say to each other now he’d decided to take Anya back.
At the bottom of the stairs Liv sat for a moment. She cried like she hadn’t cried for years. Pete and Anya back together; she hadn’t seen that coming. But then again, they looked good together, perhaps it would work out in the end for them, maybe. Anya would have learned her lesson. She was probably a lot brighter than Liv gave her credit for; she’d certainly seen through Eddie Quirke a lot faster than Liv had. Liv wasn’t sure how long she stayed here, sitting on that step, going over the last five minutes in her head, the last ten years, if she was honest. It was all such a total mess and now she wasn’t even sure what was real and what wasn’t anymore. She’d thought she and Pete were friends, the best of friends, but now, the way she felt – had she made a complete mess of that also?
There was nothing for it but to drag herself back to the flat.
She texted Maya to let her know she was home safe and sound then switched off her phone for the night. Whatever thoughts she had about making something for her supper had completely evaporated. She just dragged herself into the bedroom and crawled beneath the duvet. She didn’t even set her alarm clock for the morning; she was much too emptied out to think that far ahead. For now, all she could think about was nothing.
18
Liv supposed that at this point, if she was trying to cheer herself up, then being grateful for the Tesco Express that stayed open twenty-four-seven was as good a place to start as any. She stocked up on milk, bread, eggs and cheese on her way back from work that night. She knew there was no need to buy bleach or washing-up liquid or any sort of polish – Eddie and Anya wouldn’t even know where to find the supplies of those things when they’d used up everything else in her cupboards. That thought annoyed her more than any other, the idea that they’d just emptied her fridge of the bottle of wine, the cheese and butter. It was the selfishness of it and it was so typical of how Eddie had been for as long as she’d known him.
It was strange to think that while she’d been trying to contact him, thinking he was helping Anya move into someone else’s flat, she knew now he was actually sleeping with her in Liv’s bed. Somehow, that idea didn’t rattle her half as much as coming back to a flat with no basic supplies left for her. Perhaps it was because she’d already faced up to the reality that Eddie was a cheat, but it was the state of the kitchen that confirmed the fact that she’d been a complete mug. Either way, it completely incensed her, so she knew there was absolutely no way she’d be able to switch off enough to sleep. If she wasn’t going to bed, at least she could set about putting the mess her flat had been turned into back to some order. Maybe she could get a head start on moving every single item that belonged to the pair of them over to Eddie’s workshop between her shifts over the next few days. She was counting on Pete to help her with the transport end of things, although she wouldn’t organise that until everything was packed up and ready to go. She figured there was no point in both of them losing a night’s sleep.
When she finally got home, the first thing she spotted was that Pete had already been there while she was at work. He’d parcelled up half a dozen black refuse bags, which she presumed contained some of Anya’s belongings, and Liv wondered if Pete hadn’t packed these for Anya at his own apartment before he finally got her to leave. There was an appearance of organisation and care taken about them that resonated more with what she knew of Pete than what she supposed of Anya. A new lock for the front door sat on her kitchen table; Pete would have left it there with the intention of replacing the old one, the next time he dropped over to visit her. The old lock was as finicky as a witch at Christmas; one of these days, she knew it was going to seize up. Changing it was not just about keeping Eddie out. When she went to put her groceries in the fridge, she saw Pete had already stocked it up for her with the basic necessities she’d need for breakfast and a bottle of white wine with a Post-it note attached –Thought you might enjoy a glass after your first day back.
He was absolutely right. Liv poured a small amount of wine into the bottom of one of the glasses she’d left washed on the draining board. It was lovely, cool and crisp and she felt the alcohol immediately kick into her muscles, relaxing her even though she hadn’t realised that she was quite so wound up after the day.
