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“What happened with your brother?”
“He was a big guy like me. Our similar builds were kinda interesting since I never looked like anyone in my adoptive family. People thought my mom cheated on my dad to make her giant, light-eyed, dark-haired son. So, at first, I was into the whole long-lost brother deal.”
“But?”
“He came with problems and bullshit. One time, he wanted me to ride to his town a hundred miles from the Valley and help him out. I had a club thing to do. My biker family had my back since I was a pissy asshole kid. Why would I choose this new guy over people who earned my loyalty? I tried to be nice to my brother. Like, I didn’t just tell him to fuck off. I was polite and shit.”
Landry grins at my wording and scoots closer until our legs touch. “You wanted to do right by him while also giving priority to your real family.”
I feel my lips twisting into a smile again. Landry hears what I’m saying. She sees what kind of man I am inside. My club isn’t a bunch of thugs. They’re the only family I had for a long time. Many people can’t see past the Steel Berserkers’ hard exteriors, but I need Landry to accept that part of my life.
“My brother got pissed and turned on me immediately. I mean I get some of his shit. He was dumped by our parents, too. Not as a baby like me, but when he was older and could feel their rejection. It fucked him up in here,” I say and tap my head. “I got how he could feel that way, but I didn’t need to make his shit my problem. I’d already built a life for myself. This was before Kati and the house. I was living with the club at the Pigsty. Like you said, they’re my family.”
My hand cradles her belly. “This baby will only know me as her dad.”
Landry’s breathing shifts, and she stares at me with a new neediness. I realize I said something right. If I kissed her right now, she wouldn’t complain. She might be happy to feel my lips on hers.
However, I don’t kiss her. Landry owes me a debt. I killed her abusive husband, moved her kids into my big house, offered her help so she can get more rest, and made promises about raising her little ones.
I’m both her hero and her master. Since she can’t really tell me no, she’s never really telling me yes.
With Kati, I rushed everything. Deep inside, I feared any hesitancy would prove me wrong about her. If I had stepped back at any point, shit would have been clear. So, I raced past all the warning signs. Better to get the prize than to be sensible.
Except Kati was never mine. Even with the big house and my money, she wanted someone else. I bought her loyalty for a while. Yet, behind her smile, she was always looking for the exit.
If I let Landry be herself, she might reveal what I refused to see in Kati. I won’t blame this woman like I did the other one.
I took responsibility for Landry’s problems when I killed her husband. Neal Copper was a garbage human being, but he was also the one supporting Landry and her kids. She’s dependent on me, and I’m responsible for her, even if she can never love me.
This afternoon’s chat soothed many of my fears. More than anything, I know I like Landry as a person. She isn’t just a vessel for my fantasy. Landry’s flesh and bone, real in a way I can feel in my heart.
“What’s your maiden name?” I ask, hating to think of her as Landry Copper.
“Windows,” she says and grins. “You’d think with such a terrible last name, my parents might have picked a better first one.”
“I like your name.”
Smiling brighter, she replies, “I used to go by Laney like it was cooler or something.”
“I’ll call you whatever you want.”
“I’m too old to worry about being cool,” she says, lowering her gaze and grinning in a sheepish way. “Besides, my name sounds sexy when you say it. Most people hit the first syllable too hard, making it come off whiny. You make the ‘A’ soft.”
Once again, I feel her hypnotizing me with her gaze. My entire body begs to kiss her.
For months, I’ve wondered about her lips. In my head, I’ve fucked her a hundred times. So far, real life has proven better. In my fantasies, she seemed too similar to Kati. The real Landry tears away my rage until I’m stripped down to nothing more than a man falling for a woman.
