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I planned to break Landry free once the baby was born. I even made a list of shit to do before I revealed myself to her—redo the nursery to fit her baby’s unknown—to me—gender, cut my long hair, shave my beard, and kill her man. Only the hair thing might trip me up.
My plan got shredded as soon as Blair’s bone snapped. Her pained little voice drew the attention of Landry who ran to defend her daughter.
I had to freeze, literally turn to stone, to prevent myself from rushing out of the woods and beating Neal Copper to death in front of Landry and her girl.
My self-control nearly snapped when I heard the crack of his elbow across Landry’s face. My legs started moving. Violence is how I gained money and power. Fighting doesn’t faze me. Yet, I had to restrain my bloodlust.
I planted my feet deep into the mud by imagining what Landry would think if I came barreling out of the woods to save her. I wouldn’t be her hero. I’d be a berserker, twice as frightening as her piece-of-shit husband.
All my life, I’ve been too big. Even as a stupid, silly kid, I got treated like a monster by people. As I got older, I leaned heavily into that assumption about me. One reason I let my hair grow so long was to feed into my intimidating image.
Except I don’t want Landry to fear me. I planned to clean myself up and look respectable before showing up to explain how she was mine and her husband needed to die.
Though my plan clearly wasn’t foolproof, it’s slicker than what ends up happening.
After Landry piles the kids into her beatdown SUV, Neal returns to the backyard for a smoke. The stocky blond fucker barely reacts when I emerge from the darkness. I jump the chain-link fence and walk toward him. He asks if I’m lost. His voice reminds me of so many other men who fear the Steel Berserkers.
Dragging him into the woods, I break Neal Copper into a bag of jagged bones and bloody organs. He moves oddly when I let him think he’s getting away.
I watch the whimpering man crawl away as I devise a body-disposal plan. I can’t bury him out here. I brought my hog, and I can’t exactly throw him on the back.
Walking over to where Neal collapses in pain, I hold him still with my boot. I text Woodrow to explain how my plan got sped up and I need help with the package.
Thirty minutes later, Neal Copper whines for his mama as I sit on his back. My mind wanders as I wonder about Landry. How did she end up with this piece of shit? What did she see that I can’t?
Woodrow parks his truck in the same parking lot where I left my hog. The diner is a five-minute walk through the woods to Landry’s house. I don’t know how the place stays in business since I’ve never seen the parking lot even half full.
Of course, I don’t know Beehive Ridge well. The small shithole is a meaningless dot on the county map. Meanwhile, I live in the area’s crown jewel of McMurdo Valley.
Seeing Woodrow, I stand up and consider saying something snappy to the dying man on the ground. Neal likely wouldn’t hear me through his busted eardrums. I finish him off by bringing my boot down on his head three times. Each stomp is harder as I recall him hurting Landry and Blair.
As Woodrow and I wrap the corpse in a tarp, I study my childhood friend. The once goofy fat kid with a lisp grew into a wannabe lumberjack. He’s one of the few non-Steel Berserkers whose life matters to me.
We carry the corpse through the dark woods until reaching his truck. Once Neal’s tossed in the back, I jump on my hog and follow Woodrow back to my large home in McMurdo Valley’s lush woodlands.
As Woodrow and I dig a hole in the soft, muddy land south of the house, he finally asks what he’s been thinking.
“I thought you were waiting.”
“He hurt the little girl,” I explain when his blue eyes watch me with disappointment.
“Well, then, you really didn’t have much choice.”
“I need to make my move with Landry tonight. His family might come around. She isn’t safe in that house.”
“Don’t raise your voice,” Woodrow replies before we carry the wrapped body from the truck. “I’ve noticed women don’t get as rattled when you speak softly. They forget your size and hear your words.”
Nodding, I realize I need to change my clothes before I go to Landry’s house. By now, she might be back from the clinic. I recall how little reaction she showed to Neal hitting her. Her only concern was Blair.
Looking in the mirror after my shower, I don’t hate the man I see. His size protects me. His fearsome face keeps trouble away.
Yet, the man looking back at me is bound to terrify Landry. Her husband is a normal man. Unworthy of her but average. I’m not what a woman like her wants. But if Landry opens her heart, I know she can love me. Landry longs for more, just like I do.
Returning to the Copper house, I open the door to find Landry staring wide-eyed. She looks at me like I always assumed she would.
On the drive over, I asked myself two blunt questions.What if she rejects me? What if the real Landry isn’t the woman I want?
With Kati, I walked down a foolish path, avoiding what I didn’t want to see. The young woman wrapped me up in her lies. When they began to unravel, I ignored the truth and created my own bullshit inner narrative to remain blind to how things would end.
