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“Why?”
“It’s complicated. I’m in the friend zone at the moment, and I don’t know if they feel the same way about me as I do about them. Part of me thinks it’s safer to leave things as they are and not risk ruining a friendship, but then I wonder whether I’m missing a chance at happiness. What would you do?”
My first thought is to tell him to say nothing, but I realise that’s just me selfishly trying to stop him from pursuing a relationship with this person. Toby feels like a part of my life now and, although I know he’d make an effort to keep our friendship going, I also know that we’d inevitably drift apart if things got serious between him and whoever the other guy is. I tell myself to pull myself together. I’ve been hoping he’d find a boyfriend almost from the moment I’ve known him. Maybe it’ll be fine.
“What’s your gut feeling about how they would react?” I ask him.
“I can’t call it. On one level we’re really close, but I don’t know if it’s enough to get me out of the friend zone.”
“Have they given you any signals?”
“No.”
“Tricky. Do they have any friends you could sound out?”
“None that I know well enough to have that conversation with.”
“If they aren’t giving you any signals, I think I’d play it safe if I were you. Give it time and see what happens. If they’re interested in you, they’ll find a way of letting you know.”
“Yes, you’re probably right. Ah, here’s our lunch.”
I’m fairly certain I see a look of disappointment flash across his face. As soon as it appears, though, it’s gone, and I don’t think any more about it. The burger is excellent, and the wine combines with my full stomach and the fresh air earlier to make me feel pleasantly dozy. He doesn’t broach the subject again, but I do find it playing on my mind after he’s dropped me back home. I’m not sure my motives were as pure as they could have been when I told Toby to bide his time, but I can’t help feeling a bit possessive of him. This person, whoever he is, had better be worthy of him.
