AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Why did he say he was gay, then?”
I sigh. “He didn’t. I just assumed he was. You know how you get a feeling about people…”
Are you telling me you never actually had a conversation about it with him?”
“He’s very private about stuff like that. I figured he would tell me when he was ready.”
“Oh, Mads. I love you, but you are sometimes a little quick to make your mind up about things.”
“Yeah, well this one just turned round and bit me on the arse. I did drop some pretty heavy hints and he never contradicted me, though. Don’t you think that’s odd?”
“For example?”
“I said that I wasn’t his type and stuff like that. Why didn’t he tell me I was barking up the wrong tree?”
“Maybe he just thought that you were saying you weren’t the right type of woman for him, rather than the wrong gender. Maybe he thought you didn’t think he was your type, but you were trying to be tactful about it.”
“But he completely ignored me when I was naked around him. Surely that’s a big bloody red light right there? I’m not saying that I’m irresistible or anything, but any red-blooded male is going to take some interest in a naked woman prancing around, isn’t he? But no, nothing. Is it any wonder I was knocked for six when he declared that he was in love with me?”
“What are you going to do? I take it you don’t feel the same way about him.”
“I’ve just never thought about him in that way,” I confess. “I thought we would always be friends, but this has kind of chucked a hand-grenade into all of that. I just wish I knew what he was thinking. I called him, but he didn’t answer.”
“I hate to say it, darling, but I think you’re going to have to play the long game here. Give him the space he’s asked for.”
“Yeah, but it’s so hard. You know me, I like to get things out in the open and resolve them. I feel like he’s dumped this on me and run away, leaving me holding this ‘thing’ that I can’t do anything with. It pisses me off a little. I didn’t ask him to fall in love with me!”
“No, you didn’t, but shit happens. He’s probably feeling really embarrassed and wishing he’d never said anything at all. Avoiding you is the safest way to protect his feelings while he tries to come to terms with the fact that you gave him the brush-off.”
“I didn’t give him the brush-off, though! I was just so surprised that I didn’t know what to say or do. He didn’t really give me a chance to take it in, he just dashed off.”
“OK, so if he rang you up and said it all again, what would you say?”
I sigh. “I still don’t know. I miss him, and I want what we had back. But I know that, whatever happens now, we can’t have that.”
“Do you fancy him?”
“Of course I do! You’ve seen him, right? I mean, it’s a shame he’s shorter than me, but…”
“What is this obsession you have with men who are shorter than you? Why is it such a problem?”
“Small man syndrome. Men who are shorter than me tend to be very competitive about everything, as if they’re trying to make up for it. Ugh.”
“And has Toby ever done that?”
“No.”
“So, what’s actually wrong with him?”
“Nothing! He’s perfect in a lot of ways. I just… Oh, I don’t know.”
“It sounds to me like you also need a bit of space then. You need to work out how you feel about him before you have any further conversation with him.”
“I know you’re right,” I tell her. “It just goes against my nature to let this thing fester between us.”
“You’ve got no choice, I’m afraid. Now, what’s all this about Voyages Luxes?”
“I don’t know, but I’m worried. Peter Smallbone was so angry at the dinner, and he’s always hated me, so it wouldn’t surprise me if he’s come up with some new reason for them to let me go. It shouldn’t bother me, because I’ve pretty much decided to give it up anyway, but I just want to go on my terms, rather than being thrown out.”
