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Prologue
10 Years Ago...
Most people are afraid of the dark, but not me. I’m terrified of the twilight hour. That moment before total darkness, when the shadows are at their strongest, but you can still see the light just out of reach. The light isn’t coming to save you like it does at dawn. The light abandons you, leaving you to fend for yourself against the shadows and the people who use them.
I never used to be afraid of the light leaving. It simply meant it was time to sleep. Mom and Dad would kiss me goodnight, tuck me into bed, and my dreams would sweep me off into sweet adventures in mystical lands. When I would wake there wouldn’t be any question of what happened while I slept or what horrors the day would bring because it would be the same beautiful life as always. I was loved, cherished, and cared for by the best parents a girl could ask for.
That all changed at the ripe age of five when the drunk driver hit my parent’s car on that fateful night that sent my world crashing. It was twilight, of course, and the car would have been a mere shadow since the headlights were never turned on. At least that’s what I heard their friends say at the funeral.
There’s that horrible time again, it started by taking my parents and went on to take everything. My life changed forever in that moment, in that twilight hour, and I will never be the same.
Home after home where you don’t want to be tucked in anymore, just in case something more sinister happens. Place after place of swinging fists, too many kids, and not enough care to go around. Foster care was just one hell after another for years.
Some were emotionally abusive, others physically, and a few were sexually abusive. The worst by far was the Jennings’ house because they combined all three of them. Surprisingly though, it was also the one that gave me Declan. At least until the night they took us away from that home, and each other.
“Please,” I beg, tears pouring down my face as Mr. Jennings stalks towards me, his belt in his hands.
The tears do nothing but urge him on, something I know and yet I can never quite turn them off. Declan is tied up behind me, his yells muffled by the ratty rag tied around his mouth. I can’t do this again, I can’t take anymore.
“Keep begging me, doe eyes. You know I love to hear you—”
Mr. Jennings’ voice cuts off as a loud bang sounds above us followed by screaming and footsteps. The door to the basement bangs open as bright lights flood the dimly lit torture space and men in black tactical gear swarm down the stairs. Mr. Jennings’ eyes go wide, fear racing through his gaze as he realizes he can’t talk his way out, he’s been caught with his pants literally around his ankles.
“Get down on your knees, hands behind your head!” The man in front yells, as the others move to cover him and help Declan and I out of our restraints.
The next few hours fly by as the house is raided and all of the foster children are taken to the hospital to get checked over. The entire time I keep my hand tightly grasped in Declan’s. The paramedics, nurses, and doctors all try to get me to let go, but they don’t understand that he is the one holding me together right now. My body is running on autopilot and as long as I have Dec with me, I can power through this.
“You’re doing so good, Allie Cat. We’ll get through this and find a better life away from him now,” Dec reassures me after the doctor leaves to grab the social worker. “We’re finally out of there. We turn eighteen in just six months and until then we get to be in a better home.”
“How do you know this one will be better?” I whisper, my doubts that any foster parent is good take over. “We’re either just a paycheck to them and they neglect us or we deal with shit like this.”
“It has to get better,” Dec declares, his voice ringing out with hope. His signature lopsided smile comes out as he brushes his unruly brown hair from his eyes. “This is rock bottom, Allie cat. There’s just up from here.”
My mouth opens to speak as a young looking caseworker comes in, a sympathetic smile on her face. I hate those smiles, they’re always followed by bullshit excuses about how they can’t help us or bad news about our case. The door opens again and an older man enters, a briefcase in his hands that tells me he’s probably another social worker.
Why are there two?
“Mr. Hallows,” the man says before anyone else speaks. “Would you please come with me so we can get you to your new placement?”
“He’s not leaving me.” My voice rushes out of me, the panic and fear I’m trying so hard to hold back cracking through. “We’re going to the same placement so you can just tell us together.”
“Miss Morgan,” the young woman says, her voice kind and soft. “Alayna. Unfortunately, due to the limited amount of placements, especially for older kids, we have to split you up.”
“Like fuck you will,” Dec growls out, his body going stiff as he moves into protective mode. “You’ll separate us over my dead body.”
“Declan,” the man steps forward, his voice disapproving. I don’t like the look or sound of him, he doesn’t care about us. “That’s enough. You are both almost eighteen years old, start acting like it. You will be coming with me either willingly or by force. We don’t have time for this.”
“NO!” I scream as the nurse and the Old Asshole start moving towards us. “Please! Please don’t take him from me.”
Two more nurses come into the room followed by the same doctor as before. Declan and I fight with everything we have to stay together, the tears pouring down my face as I scratch and attack anyone that comes near me. Declan’s hand is torn from mine just before a needle slides into my arm. An icy numbness moves through my body as all the fight drains out of me. The last thing I see before unconsciousness overtakes me are Declan’s terrified blue eyes as he’s held down and sedated. My Declan, gone.
It's been months since that night, the one that changed my life again. They placed me with a nice woman that had no other children. Declan’s eighteenth birthday passed about a month before mine did and still no word from him. My nights were spent mourning his loss and fighting the demons that haunt me in my sleep.
I miss him so much.
The one light in my life of chaos was my best friend and first love Declan Hallows. He protected me in that awful foster home. He took beatings for me, tended my wounds when he couldn't stop what was happening, and showed me love again after so long without it. Being sent to this home without him has nearly destroyed me. I want him back, I want to show him the love he’s always shown me.
Some day, I’ll find him again.
