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“Lay!” Rhys shouts, grabbing my fists before I do something stupid like break my fist on the dashboard.
“He killed himself for me,” I sob, my body shaking from head to toe with rage and disbelief. “He fucking killed himself to bring us together. That motherfucker romanticized his death and made it out to be an act of selflessness. IT WASN’T!” My voice is hitting octaves I didn’t even know it could hit as Rhys takes the letter from my clenched hand and reads it himself.
“Fuck,” Rhys breathes out, his face as white as a ghost. He starts shaking his head back and forth, not wanting to believe what I’m saying. “I can’t bel—”
“Most people use a goddamn phone, DECLAN! They don’t fucking kill themselves to BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER!” I’m screaming at the roof of the car, trying to take my anger out on a dead person. “This has to be the most selfish stunt you’ve ever pulled. When I get to wherever you are, I will motherfucking kill you again.”
Rhys pulls me into his arms as I finish my rant, cupping my head to his chest as I release the torrent of tears inside of me. While I thought I didn’t get here in time to save him because I was procrastinating, it turns out he was never planning on being here anyways. He used me and this stalking as an excuse to break his promises and then makes himself feel like a martyr for doing it.
I thought the pain of losing him was bad, but the anger and resentment I now feel towards him is so much worse. The original pain I could start to move past, but this betrayal cuts me deeper than anything else. He left all of us and used the excuse of bringing the four of us together for the better of all. There’s no way I can forgive him for that or for putting that on me.
Chapter Twenty
Alayna
Stretching the kink out of my neck, I walk out of my bedroom and head to the kitchen. That felt like the longest therapy session of my life. We had a lot to unload with the bar, Declan, and then the fucking bomb dropped by Declan’s lawyer yesterday. Add my returning nightmares to all of it and I just buried my poor therapist in my problems. The only part I didn’t touch on was the stalker because we still have no information on that. The guys want me to be extra cautious so I felt it was better to keep that shit to myself.
Now, I need some food before my stomach tries to eat itself. Walking into the kitchen, I halt suddenly when I see Adam at the stove. The room smells funny, almost like burnt toast meets burnt onions. I’ve recently learned that he’s not exactly the best cook so why he’s attempting to make something right now, I have no idea.
“What are you doing?” I ask, taking a slow, exaggerated step into the kitchen. “Did the world end? It sure smells like it did.”
“Hardy har har. You’re so funny.” Adam rolls his eyes, the tiniest smile pulling up the corner of his mouth. “I needed to eat and Rhys is having an off day. It doesn’t smell that bad.”
“What’s wrong with Rhys?” Looking toward his room, I bite my lip nervously.
“He just needs a day to rest and recoup. It happens every now and then. His depression gets really bad and he spends the day in bed. Normally Riggs would take over cooking, but he’s off helping his mom today. That leaves me,” Adam explains, shrugging in nonchalance.
“No.” I hold up my hand, grimacing as the smell gets worse. “That leaves me. You have a meeting today so go get ready for that and I’ll make something actually edible. It’ll be ready when you are.”
Shooing him out of the room, I gag when I throw out whatever he was attempting to cook. The guy is lucky he’s easy on the eyes because he can’t cook worth a shit. Looking at the time, I decide on something quick, easy, and filling. Pulling out the eggs, bacon, and English muffins, I get ready to make some delicious breakfast sandwiches.
Tossing the bacon in the oven for ten minutes, I scramble up the eggs with some milk and toss them in the frying pan. Ten minutes later, I pull out the bacon and throw the sandwiches together. Two for me, two for Adam, and two for Rhys. They’re piled high with egg, bacon, and cheese. I finish making a quick travel mug of coffee just as Adam comes back into the room, his hair slicked back and his dressier clothes on.
“Oh, fuck yes. I think I’m in love with you,” Adam groans, diving in for the sandwiches. My face blushes at his comment, making me annoyed as hell.
“Get out of here! You’re going to be late,” I admonish him, pushing his ass towards the door with my foot.
“See you later, buttlicker! Have a good day,” he hollers, throwing a wink over his shoulder.
“You too, twatwaffle!”
With a chuckle, I make another mug of coffee for Rhys and pour a glass of juice for myself. Piling it all on my arms, I make my way to Rhys’ room. The best thing to do during a depressive time is make sure he’s fed and he knows that he’s not alone. They’ve all been here for me through every horrible thing that’s happened over the past month and now it’s my turn to be there for Rhys.
Knocking on the door, I yell out that it’s me and wait patiently for him to answer. He calls out to come in, his voice rough and cracked. My heart breaks when I manage to get the door open, his hunched form, curled up under the covers tells me everything I need to know about how bad he’s feeling.
Bringing the food over to his dresser, I navigate my way through the small mess on his floor and climb into bed with him. His beautiful eyes are just visible over the top of the blanket. Rhys looks utterly lost and exhausted.
"What's going on?" I whisper softly, snuggling under the blankets with Rhys. His blue eyes are staring at me blankly, a mask shuttered over his beautiful face.
"I'm just having one of my bad days. I'm trying to fight it, to be strong, but it's so hard." His voice cracks, his pain breaking through. "You shouldn't have to see this, Lay. You should go, leave me to wallow in how pathetic I am. I'm a fucking weak, poor excuse of a man."
Cupping his chin with my hand to make sure he’s looking at me, then after taking a deep breath, I press my forehead to his.
“You are not weak,” I murmur, nuzzling his nose with my own. “You are so unbelievably strong.”
“No, I’m not.” Rhys pulls back, the shame on his face bringing tears to my eyes.
"Showing your pain doesn't make you weak Rhys." I brush my hand down his cheek, wiping away the stray tear that broke free. "It makes you human. Humans are meant to feel and we are all fallible by design. We're all imperfect in our own way, it's human nature, but to me, you are perfect in your imperfections."
