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My hands fly out, striking wildly as I try to fight off the memory version of my abuser. The feeling of flesh beneath my hands makes me go crazy, the hits flying out harder, and my nails moving to claw at whoever is attacking me. Not much makes sense to me right now except that I can’t let them get me. There’s so many faces of men and women who just took whatever they wanted, my consent be fucking damned. That can’t happen again. I will fight until my last fucking breath to stop any of them from getting to me again.
“LAY! It’s me, baby. It’s Adam. Let me help you,” Adam cries out, grabbing my wrists with just enough force to hold me still but not enough to hurt me. Blinking the tears and the images away, I let out a loud sob when I see Adam, his face red and scratched up.
“Oh my god, Adam! I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” I cry out, falling into his open arms. “I thought you were him. I thought you were Mr. Jennings and you were gonna rape me again. I just wanted it to stop, I just wanted the torture to stop. It’s never going to, though. It’ll never stop, it’s seared into my brain like a fucking brand. I’ll always be forced to remember what he did to me. I just want it to end.”
“It’s okay, Lay. I’ve got you now, no one is going to hurt you.” Adam repeats his reassurances, rubbing my back and blocking me from all the other people in the coffee shop.
My voice drops to a whisper as I look up into his sad eyes. “Don’t you understand? It’ll never be okay. His fucking little protegé is going to hurt me, but he’s going to hurt you first. He’s going to try and kill all of you, then he’ll come for me. That can’t happen, he can just have me instead. I won’t lose any of you.”
“Listen to me, Alayna. He will not be hurting any of us. We will not let him get to you or get the drop on us,” Adam declares, his face intensely serious. “If he comes for us, I want to make one thing very clear, you will not ever give yourself up for us. Do you hear me? That’s not allowed. You are the most important person in our lives, and I refuse to have you play the saviour for any of us.”
“Lay! Adam!” Rhys calls out as soon as the door chimes again, Riggs hot on his heels. “What the fuck is going on?”
“A lot,” I murmur, cringing as I pull my head out of Adam’s comforting embrace and look at the spectacle we’ve made of ourselves. “Can we go? I think we’ve overstayed our welcome here.”
“Let’s head out to the cars,” Riggs says, grabbing me from Adam’s arms and pulling me into his own. “We can talk more out there. Rhys already called Jarrod out, so he’ll be meeting us soon.”
“What if that fucking psychopath is out there? Going out gives him full access to all of you! He could come after you!” I freak out, trying to pull out of Riggs’ arms so I can bring them back to the safety of the couch.
“Lay. Baby,” Riggs picks me up completely, holding me under my ass and leveling us so we’re eye to eye. “He will not attack all of us in public and definitely not while we’re all together and aware. You have nothing to fear right now, we’ve got you.”
“What if he gets you?” I whisper, a breathy hiccup starting in my chest as I wrestle with the feeling of impending doom.
“Riggs is right, Lay.” Rhys comes up, brushing my hair from my face and cupping my cheek. “Everything he’s done up to this point has been sneaky and behind our backs. He won’t jump to a public attack against all of us out of the blue. It’s not his style, baby. We’ll be safe as long as we’re together.”
Nodding my head reluctantly, I choose to trust that they know what they’re talking about. Logically, what they’re saying makes sense. None of the people, especially not the Jennings, ever did anything to harm me in the public eye. It was all very hush, hush and private. The spawn of Satan that’s stalking me now has been doing the same thing. Everything is when we aren’t looking or aren’t in the area. He’s been hiding behind the fucking shadows I hate so much, just like his father.
Instead of fighting Riggs’ hold on me, I snuggle deeply into his neck, enjoying how his beard has gotten longer since it helps me hide away as I come to terms with my feelings. The embarrassment of what just happened is starting to seep into me, making me want to cry all over again. This is why I held so tightly to my resting bitch face and closed off demeanour for so long. Being emotional makes you vulnerable and weak in the eyes of others. It creates the image that you need pity from others.
“Did anyone grab my stuff?” I murmur to Riggs, keeping my voice low as we make our way to the far end of the parking lot where their cars are.
“Adam has it all except the food and drink,” he answers, rubbing a hand up and down my back when we stop at the back of Adam’s pickup truck. “We didn’t think you would want it anymore so we just left it behind.”
Adam walks forward, dropping the tailgate so Riggs can set me down. All three of them move in, covering me from any potential people trying to catch a glance at the crazy bitch that made a scene in a coffee shop.
“Good.” Rolling my shoulders to release some of the tension, I look at the three guys surrounding me. There’s varying degrees of concern, anger, and sadness on their faces. “The banana bread was from him. He bought it and left it in there for me with the girls behind the counter about five minutes before I got in.”
“Fucking bastard,” Adam curses, slamming his hand down on the tailgate beside me, making me jump a little bit at the sudden loud noise.
“Adam!” Riggs scolds, reaching across our little circle and pushing him back. “You’re freaking Lay out even more. Cool it the fuck down.”
“Sorry, Lay.” Adam gives me a soft look, looking a bit like a kicked puppy.
Reaching out a hand for him, I smile a little and take his hand, lacing our fingers together. “It’s okay. I know you’re as angry about all of this as I am. Plus, I scratched the hell out of you. If anyone should be apologizing, it should be me, again.”
Rhys is the one to speak up first, his hands coming to rest on my thighs. “You were in a very bad PTSD episode. No one blames you for what happened. You were scared and trying to defend yourself. We’re fucking proud of you, so don’t even think about apologizing.”
“Why would you be proud of me?” Taken aback, I pull away slightly, not sure why they think attacking Adam is okay.
“Because, baby,” Adam answers, tightening his grip on my hand so I can’t pull away any more. “You found yourself thinking you were in danger and being attacked. Instead of giving in and letting it happen, you fought like your life depended on it. If it wasn’t me, if it was that psycho stalker, your life very well could have depended on it. Seeing you fight to survive, it was heartbreakingly beautiful. We are proud of you for fighting for yourself. You are so fucking strong, Lay.”
“Oh. Well, I guess I finally have something in my life to fight for,” I whisper, looking up bashfully through my lashes.
“You’ve always had something to fight for, Lay. You,and you alone, are enough of a reason to fight. You have more to live for, sure, but you’ve always had a lot to fight for,” Riggs says, the profoundness of his words stunning all of us into silence.
Damn, that was deep. How do these men keep shocking me with all of their sweet words and loving touches?
“Larsen!” Jarrod James calls out from across the parking lot, breaking us out of our little silent, staring party. He jogs over to us, a uniformed officer following behind a few steps. “Sorry we’re a bit late. Riggs, Adam, good to see you again.” He nods at them, keeping his eyes down just slightly to avoid meeting their gazes.
