AllFreeNovel
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It breaks up the darkness,
It makes me believe
There’s more than the evil
That lurks in the dark
There’s more than the scars
That live in my heart
You are my reason
My everything, my light
You are my reason
The only reason I fight
For my life, for my future
For a chance to see
If one day I’ll find you
My reason to breathe
You are my reason
My everything, my light
You are my reason
The only reason I fight
You are my reason,
You are my reason,
The reason I will always fight.”
The clapping all around me breaks me out of my spell, the tears in my eyes blurring the sight of a large group standing around me. Panic starts to kick in, the suddenness of the group making my heart pound in my chest. This is one of the issues with getting into my own music, I lose track of the world around me, so lost in the song and what it means to me.
Looking down, I start gathering my things, quietly thanking people as they smile and drop money in my hat. It looks like a good turn out, probably upwards of fifty dollars which would feed me for the next week and a half if I ration it well enough. Tucking it into my backpack, I throw everything over my shoulders and start the hike out to find somewhere safe to sleep.
The homeless shelter about six miles from here is usually not as full as the other ones, but I would be cutting it close trying to get there tonight. The one that’s only a mile up the road is usually full by now, but I guess it doesn’t hurt to check it out and see if I’m lucky enough to get a spot. That’s laughable, I’m never fucking lucky.
“Hey!” Someone yells behind me, their footsteps hard and fast as they run up behind me. “That was some pretty good money you got back there. You’re pretty fucking talented, aren’t you?”
“Um, I don’t know.” I walk quicker away from him, not liking where this conversation is going. I’ve learned enough living on the streets this long, anyone enquiring about money is gearing up to mug you. After the encounter just over an hour ago, I can’t handle taking anyone else on.
“The people in the park seemed to think so,” he continues on, his voice closer than before. My speed picks up, but so does his. My fear is kicking my adrenaline on, but not fast enough. The malice and disdain coming off of the guy behind me has every hair on the back of my neck standing on end. This isn’t going to end well for me, and there’s nothing I can fucking do about it. I’m a fucking singer, not a fighter.
Preparing myself for the first hit, I’m not surprised when blinding pain starts in the back of my head the moment I I step onto the mostly deserted street. The sucker punch to the back of my head is enough to knock me down, stars springing up in my vision. My backpack is cut from my back, the sawing of the knife on the straps making me nauseated with the movement.
What a fucking coward I am, just lying here and taking it as this guy runs off with my bag. If Allie could see me now, she would be disgusted in me. Twice in one day, I just let myself get my ass kicked. I didn’t even try this time. Only a fucking pathetic loser like me would let themselves be consistently fucked over like this.
Crawling up to the building behind me, I lean back flinching when I push my guitar into the rough brick of the building. Moving it beside me, I finally release my grip on my emotions and let out a choked sob at the state I’m in. My mind is a flurry of self-deprecation and pity, my body a mess of pain, exhaustion, and hunger.
