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Clara’s heart rattled against her rib cage. “Yes.” In for a penny, in for a pound. She might have done a lot of crazy things in the last few months, but this one definitely took the cake.
Josh rewarded her answer with eyes that promised to watch as she came apart underneath him.
But still, Clara froze. She knew herself, knew that she’d never managed to separate sex from love before. And with Josh, the stakes were so much higher. She already liked him as a person, respected him as a professional, hell, she even knew they could successfully cohabit. Falling for him would be laughably easy, so sleeping with him should have presented an impossible risk. Except for one truth. Loving Josh went against every expectation she’d ever known. Every dream her family had ever set for her. Every future she’d ever imagined.
Maybe those walls would be enough to protect her. Maybe she could have amazing, mind-blowing, earth-shattering sex and still somehow be safe from a broken heart.
Unlike with Everett, this situation
was clear. Josh hadn’t promised her anything more than a culmination of the unyielding desire between them. He hadn’t asked her on a date or to be his girlfriend. It seemed simple: if she could find a way to play by his rules, she could be happy. She could have Josh, for as long as they had left.
For once, take what’s offered without expecting more. One night with Josh was more than most women could hope for in a lifetime.
“You’re panicking.” Josh crossed the room and reached for her hand.
“I’m not,” she lied, keeping her gaze fixed on his shoulder. Was the bed too pedestrian a setting? Should she slink into the bathroom and put on something lacy? How on earth could she ever live up to his plethora of kinky experiences? She didn’t have any whips or chains. No blindfolds or toys. Novelty and proximity were the only things she really had going for her. Should she dial up the “good girl” thing? Pretend she felt shy instead of wanton and feral?
“Hey.” He tilted her chin. “We don’t have to do this tonight if you’re not ready.” Josh tugged her against him and stroked his free hand against her hair before kissing the crown of her head. “I’ll happily sit on the couch and make out.”
“No,” Clara said desperately, pulling back so she could bring her free hand up to his neck and hold him to her by his curls. She poured desire into her kiss, probably bruising him in her eagerness. “I mean,” she said against his lips, “no, thank you.”
Her body hummed with demands. His mouth should come with a warning label. Josh kissed her like a man come home from war. Like the thought of her alone had kept him warm across a thousand lonely nights.
They kissed until she clung to his neck to stay on her feet. Until her worries dissolved right out of her brain. Josh walked her backward to the bed, tearing at her clothes as he covered her body with his own. Thank goodness. Clothing had become an unbearable burden. She considered every second not spent with him touching her bare skin a second wasted.
His mouth worked hot and sweet against the pulse point behind her ear as he peeled her top over her breasts. Everything he did sent her into a lascivious tailspin. Until she scraped her blunt fingernails against his back through the thin cotton of his T-shirt.
“I don’t have any moves,” she warned him between heavy breaths as he divested her of her shirt entirely.
Josh sat back to look at her. Gold hair fell against his forehead, casting a shadow across his heated eyes. He discarded his own T-shirt haphazardly. “I’ll worry about the moves.” He pulled her into his lap so she sat astride him and took her earlobe between his teeth in a way that shot straight to her sex.
Clara let her hands ride the thick slabs of his shoulders. She wanted to taste him everywhere. Wanted him in ways she’d never wanted anyone—frantic and messy and completely out of control.
Helping her out of her sports bra without sparing the fabric a second glance, Josh stroked her bare breasts. As he teased her, Clara writhed from the acute ache he elicited.
“Please.” She didn’t have words to ask for all of the things she wanted.
He brought his mouth to replace his fingers, using his teeth to apply decadent pressure. Each flick of his tongue was flawless. She’d never considered her body especially carnal, but now she felt made for sex, engineered for pleasure from head to toe.
“Please what?” Josh sucked a love bite into the top of her breast.
Clara moved away from him to shove her boxers and underwear down and off, before sitting back and letting her thighs fall open. “Shut up.”
He groaned and leaned forward, bringing his hand between her legs. “I knew you’d be like this.” His gravelly voice made her shiver. “So hot for me. So ready. Have you thought about it?” Josh circled the tips of two fingers against her clit. Clara was wet enough that they could both hear it as he handled her. “About what I’d do to you if you ever let me?”
She bucked her hips and whimpered. “Yes. Oh God.” Every night for months that passed like years. “Yes.”
Josh closed his eyes for a moment as if he wanted to savor her confession.
Bending down, he lifted her hips toward his mouth, tracing over her slick flesh with his lips, teeth, and tongue. All of the things that Clara knew to be true, including the limits of time and space, ceased to exist. Josh wanted her. Every touch, every rough sound he made, confirmed the unimaginable.
Later, when he made her come on his tongue, she keened, feeling more animal than human as she dug her nails into the meat of his arms. Josh brought her down gently. His soothing touches prolonged her pleasure and prepped her body for more. “It’s going to be tight.” Josh’s warning warred with his wild eyes.
“I don’t care,” Clara said when she could collect enough air to form words again.
Josh looked at her like she was something precious as he got to his feet. The purr of his zipper descending cut through the loaded silence. She let herself stare, gorged on the way his muscles moved under his golden skin. Clara licked her lips. She couldn’t decide what she liked best. The curve of his jaw, the curl of his biceps, the flat planes of his stomach, the sharp dip of his hips. Her mouth went dry. His thick cock.
Clara inhaled, and let it out slowly. She’d seen the videos, had watched him touch himself, but now, confronted with the reality of his size and . . . girth . . . when it had a new destination . . . well, it wasn’t that she wasn’t game. Her thighs were soaked with how much she wanted him. But the math of it all remained hazy.
